I personally would just ignore her and not get her involved. She probably is bitter but should't matter if you're 23 or 53 its your day not hers xx

sorry, just read that back and it sounds a little blunt, sorry if I came across a bit harsh xx

ClareE no way its not harsh at all, thats how i wish i could be to her!! thank you because i was starting to think i shoud stop holding a grudge and just get on with it but she'l make me on edge im sure. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't understand why she laughed at you :s there's nothing wrong with planning early, and if you've found the perfect dress what's the point in waiting?
I'd just ignore her. She's probably just jealous xxx

Joanna thats what i dont get. one of my best friends got engaged over a year before us and are getting married the month after us, booked their venue straight away but no1 laughed at them and why should they, i was over the moon for them to have their dream venue sorted!!!!
Lala, absolutely she needs a big one!!

The thing is girls its my dear grandma's 90th party this saturday and she;s going to be there. im not going to start anything thats not how i roll... but i really don't want to have any sort of conversation with her... how do i get around this without making any akwardess!!!
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Go right up to her and rub how amazing your wedding will be in her face LOL :)

I wouldn't rise to it hun she may be bitter but at 35 she clearly needs to grow up x

Some people are just like that, unfortunately.
Don't tell her anything about the wedding from now on and you won't have to listen to her snide remarks xxx

Well, you've already shown you can rise above it by inviting her into your home when she's been rude. I wouldnt have invited her at all, or I'd of made sure the rest of the guests knew it was bedrugingly and if she steps even so much as a toe out of line, shes out the door no questions asked.

Ive always got a bee in my bonnet about something haha, its not always a good thing!

haha higginszajac i will definately try and do that! shes just SUCH busybody never met such a busybody! everyone says 'thats just her ways' but if i was like that id get wrong!!

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Poor you VictoriaE35, sounds horrible for you. i'm going to rub her nose into how fabulous our day is but by only inviting her to the evening :p im not paying £50 for her to have amazing food :p
Shes just selfish. shes got loads of money too but is never generous with it to anybody, ever! so im not going to be generous either :p


Your H2B step mother had NO right to call you names, no1 does and she is just childish and out of order<3
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I think you are right to be upset, and I absolutely agree ......dont invite her. If she can mock your wedding, then she doesnt deserve to be there.
I know that I am older....and please believe me that I am not criticizing or mocking your age....But I had a few problems like this with my sister......but I have come to realise...with age....that other people dont matter , not really. All that matters is me and hubby, and with that thought, we had the wedding WE wanted.
She asked WHY her son and his 2 kids wasnt invited......I told her it was because if I invited him...then I would have had to invite my other nephews and nieces and their children, making my small wedding into a much larger one, which we didnt want.
She wasnt happy but I didnt really care.....me and hubby chose a small wedding and invited immediate family only, and just one couple each....friends. And I think she paid me back for by upsetting my best friend to the point that she didnt turn up to my wedding. She can deny it all she likes but I am positive that because her son wasnt invited, she made sure my friend didnt come. (I am still angry with my friend for not coming but thats another story)

In the grand scheme of things 20 months isn't a long time away and it's not like wedding dresses are cheap either so it gives you time to spread the cost. It sounds to me like she has a bee in her bonnet about weddings and relationships as her own broke down. As for the birthday party, I wouldn't actively avoid her but I wouldn't seek her out either. If you happen to bump into each other keep the pleasantries neutral and try and steer clear of any wedding talk.

Slight bit of jealousy going on there with her. Ignore her little comments. A friend of mine used to come out with little comments about my wedding when I was planning, yes they hurt but I chose to let them go over my head in the end.

I wouldn't not invite her. This is because in the eyes of some of your family you may just end up being the bitchy one. She could be one of these people who manage to get others to back her up or side with her, it happens and the last thing you need on your day is people asking you "Oh come on dont be a bitch why didnt you invite her"!

I was at a family gathering once when an uncle of mine who was is one of these people who says exactly what he is thinking shouted across the room at me "Let us know when that suit comes back into fashion". I was about 14, I had just bought the suit the week before in a teenage section of a chainstore shop. I had picked my outfit myself and I really loved it. Every time he said something nasty to me I always ran away crying and he would laugh and laugh. Not this time. This time I just stood there and shouted back "That's right I forgot that you are that old you wore this style the first time it came out"

He was mortified to say the least and I remember the whole family started jeering at him. That was the last time he said anything nasty or ignorant to me. Lol I even remember my dad patting me on the back saying well done love that was a clinker"! I was the one who walked off laughing that day.
So my advice is to avoid making people think bad of you and invite her, but keep her at arms length. Tell her nothing more about your wedding plans except what time she will have to be there and where it is. Don't ignore any remarks that are directed at you though, instead just come back with something that is more cutting to her. Lets face it ignoring never works. You will think of something. In fact I would probably come to my own wedding prepared for her jibes lol but that's just me.

Girls, you are all fabulous. as said, i dont want to be the one to look like the b*tch when it is in fact her, so i will invite her but just to he evening reception. i have 13 1st cousins and close 2nd cousins and i am only picking a few of them for the whole day anyway so if any1 says anything i will just remind them that!!

She has got a partner. I dont know how long this has been for but yeah.. cant pull that one on her! just bugs me that she gets away with being a cow becuase 'thats how she is'
but as you all said ladies i will definately not be speaking to her about any wedding planning.
if she asks me il say in pleasant tone 'well i thought my wedding was a joke so lets not talk about it' or something like that. Shes a t*t :s

You're all so lovely its so nice to have support.

<3 hugs back to all <3
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Ah pity you can't help get her a date lol. Yeah I agree with just asking her to the evening bit, though can I just say never quip to her that your wedding is a joke in a sarcastic tone as that can be seen as you letting her get one up on you or else it could be seen as you feeling sorry for yourself, either way she wins.

Turning the tables on a nasty person is hard I know, but you if you are going to do it you have to do it in a joke without seeming like you are affected by her. For example if she says something like "Your wedding dress is awful", you should steer the conversation away from your dress completely by coming back with something like "Well (name) I see your fiver was well spent in Barnardos", having looked her up and down. Or "I would have asked for a lend of your old wedding dress but it would be far too big on me!"

gorgeous or not, she sounds like she is thoroughly ugly on the inside!!

AmyK she is ugly on the inside for sure thats what i try not to be!
joP53 its amazing finding the one isnt it!xxxx

Yes Janet one of my best friends got engaged after 5 months of being 'with' her OH but she has known him for 6 years, and each has always loved the other etc, just very romantic!Xxxxxxxxx

I'll be 36, my mum and dad are similar. They have been married 33 years since they were 17 and still do loads of things together etc. They were married less than a year after they got together.

The reasons why I haven't got my own dress yet is lack of money and the fact that I know I would change my mind about it oh and im pregnant lol. Some women know exactly what they want but buying a dress 4-5 years before the big day? No way lol, better to start a saving plan for the dress or something if the wedding is that far off.
Soldier wife if there's something that you want for your wedding and someone says something downright spiteful about it, pay no attention. What does it matter what a cousin you are obviously not close to thinks anyway?

Ill-be-36 you're right, its just not nice to be mocked i guess! but as im not that sort of person i guess thats why i find it hard to understand why she would be like that!

Amy i know!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Your right ill be 36, I know what you mean I know some people who can give it out but just can't take it back. It's so cheeky x x