oh thats not fair!!!

Have a talk with him! Men just dont understand sometimes, thats usually men who have had their mums do everything for them. My h2b was a bit like that but I told him there was no way i was going to be his mum when we moved in together.

Hope you sort it out - he needs to appreciate you a bit more.

dont be silly i think your right...me and my h2b had the sameish problem a few months ago...i was silly though and never told him how i was feeling and let it go on and on and on until i broke down crying sayin how i felt more like his mother than his wife to be as he was doing absolutely nothing apart from being sat on his pc...i told him if that is what forever was then I wasnt so sure i wanted forever anymore as i didnt want to live the rest of my life like that...took a week or so but we got there..hope your ok

u r rite! no offence he is not workin so he shud be doint he house! tell him he either does house or gets job lol

What does he do all day!? lol xx

I am ok i just wish he understood that i am sor tired as i work shifts not the normal 9 - 5 and i would with autistic people and special needs people so it is hard to just relax when i need to sort everything out. I am just tired as i have not had a great nights sleep only getting 6 hours sleep between shift and that is broken sleep. He is trying to make me smile by singing poppie the sailer man and yes i am smiling when he does it coz it makes me laugh but why cant he do the things that need doing i wont be stressed and then he can still sing his littl song. I have told him i want it sorted as i am off tomorrow and i will do most of it but we are looking after my friends baby on saturday and i want it clean so he cant hurt himself.

He plays his xbox all day. I wouldnt mind but it is just the two of us so it is not like we have kids here that he has to look after (might do soon i think) but it is driving me mad. I am not a clean freak but i would like to come home to empty bins and a clean kitchen and a hovered living room is that to much to ask. I do it all on my day off so it is not like he has a lot of mess to clean up.

He just said he was going to do it on Saturday as or friend is coming over to stay until she goes out on her date (she is leaving her baby son with us). Well why cant he do it when i am at work then on saturday all he has to do is spray the kitchen and hover the living room.

I tried the laundry thing and it didnt work as i ran out of stuff before he did

babe y doesnt he work ? is he ill?

You must be a calmer person than me as there is no way i would put up with him playing on his xbox before he did his chores (god i sound terrible) my h2b forgets to feed or walk HIS dog when he's on the xbox and i really tell him off for that. Actually threatened to get rid of Deefer (wouldn't have but the threat worked) if he didn't buck his ideas up and look after him..........now i'll get in from work and he'll be like, deefer walked, bath is running go relax.

Think you need to talk to your h2b and explain that it can't carry on forever as one of the other girls said you're not his mother nor are you a replacement for his mother, you are his partner and in a partnership there is give and take, not take. x

mrs hall 2b1 ur elike my friend her chaps bene out of work for a year and shes rite relaxed about it! i wud be angry n very jealous if they dint get a job lol but i suppose wiv economy at mo its hard!

i wud sit down n hav wird wiv him! how u affordin weddin if he not workin?

ure managin to save that? crikey we r onyl savin 500 lol thats gud! tell him get a job now lol

Only just. We are going with out things for me to save that. I have been tring to get him to get a job for 3 yrs now. But he either doesnt do it or just dont care. I am trying to get him a job with my company but not in the same house as that is not allowed but i dont think he has even emailed them as i work with the guy that gets the application forms and he still has nothing from him

i work every other week for 4 daysas have my lil one to look ater h2b works 7days at min to save for the wedding so i do all the housework everything so he doesnt have to he does help but i dont expect him to i think ur h2b should help you out if he not at work and you are xx

Well i have said to him in the past when this is happened that i will leave work we will have no money no house no anything and then what. He said ok then i will help more and he did for a few weeks and then it was normal again.

He would be great at something like that. I will have a look online later and see if they have any jobs going. We live 10 mins walk from town centre and there is one betting shop for every 5 normal shops so it is not like he wont have something

Well i would stupid shifts so i am sure even if he did part time until he was used to it it would help. Thatnks mrsbarkertobe

so you put your washing on and leave his to fester

Oh wow, I really fell for you. My partner has been in and out of work for the past three years now and this is due to a long-term illness, which started with an operation on his groin when he was only 8 years old. It's still not right but as he had three operations on that area and they refuse to do anymore. He is on very strong pain killers and numbing creams as he is in pain constantly.

Luckily (by the skin of his teeth) he has managed to keep hold of his job despite the periods of illness and has been back at work since August last year now- longest stretch so far! But when he was off 'ill' I was very unsympathetic and would insist that he should chip in with the housework, as I was working part-time until I went on Maternity leave with my daughter. His games console used to be in the under stairs cupboard and he would sit in there all day and all night just playing which really, really, peed me off. Now I am the one at home I do most of the chores and his console is back in the living room and it rarely goes on as he is either at work or wanting to spend time with us. Unfortunately though he didn't come to this conclusion on his own and we had a little break from each other in September last year, it lasted a couple of months but we needed to reassess and things are much better between us now.

My advice is to talk to him about your frustrations I think your an absolute saint to have managed your situation for so long without exploding! I know I wouldn't be able to handle that!

Take care xx

It just kinda winds me up that i want to be doing my job even thought (the ladies that know me know whats going on) i am getting sh!t on. I just wish he would use his brain and help me. I mean mi just need a break from everything related to me doing anything. He has bought me a bottle of wine and some chocolate to soften me up and yes it is working and he knows it to. But i just think if the shoe was on the other foot then he would be just as peed as i am

I might try the post it note thing. Or leave him a list of things i want done for the week. At least that way i know things will get done and i wont have to have a arguement over it

I know. We are having words today about stuff anyway as i got a a few things i need to say to him that he might not like.

LOL. I am not even worried about the money of him not working yes it is hard but i just wish he would do something to help me. I have just cooked his breakfast and i stood there thinking i dont want to do this forever. I dont mind but if he just helped me i would be glad to do it

LOL loubyscooby

men!! my ex was just the same, I used to work full time yeah ok he was working too but I expected him to pull his weight, if we are both working the same hours then why should I have to do all the housework? I have 3 littlies who are all at school now and I don't expect any help but I get it anyway :D I guess some men are like that and yes it is infuriating...leave him a list to do! In my humble opinion if there is a stay at home person for whatever reason then I would expect them to be doing the housework.
x