Havent been on here for ages mainly because lost my wedding mojo badly....

My dad has had cancer, got the all clear in April (2nd time) and booked his flights (lives in Singapore) for August but phoned on Friday morning to say they have found cancerous cells in his blood again so now needs an emergency stem cell transplant as cancer of the blood so struggling to clean his blood. This means he wont make the wedding in August as too ill to fly, devastetated is not the word! I havent stopped crying since Saturday as just cant imagine my wedding day without my dad.

When he phoned he was upset but had 3 requests, 1 he wants to be the first person to see me in my wedding dress so going to skype on the wedding morning, 2 my brother walks me down the aisle and 3 my brother reads out dads speech.

I have towed with cancelling the wedding but dad wont let me but i dont know how i am going to do this.... how can i enjoy my dad knowing my dad is so ill and missing from the day? Im scared i wont emotionally be able to hold it together.

Thanks ladies xxxx

ah i am so sorry to hear this. i really feel for you...don't really know what to say, it obviously won't be the same without your dad there but its a lovely gesture that he will still be the first one to see his little girl in her dress. oh im gutted for you, literally can't think of anything else to say. Really puts into perspective when someone has a real genuine problem instead of some of the bridezilla nonsense you hear...xxxx

Thanks ladies, we talked about skyping dad the service live but its too much for him. We are going to record it instead and then he can watch it in his own time .

Yes it puts everything into perspective, my sister-in-law to be and father-in-law are not talking at moment so had a stern text this week telling them Life is too short and sort it out. Im going to find my wedding day emontinal enough without people bickering xx

I agree with Lea, go visit him after.

I think although it will break his heart not being there, it would upset him even more knowing he's the reason you've cancelled.

Sending huge hugs your way x

Perhaps dad could pre-record his speech and you play it at the wedding?

Millz im so sorry to hear this hun but please dont cancel your day, your dad will never forgive you for cancelling it on his absence. We lost his nan a week before the wedding, she was adamant she was going to sign herself out of hospital before the wedding if she was still in. Hubbys brother had his first child on 23rd March, she died the 27th and we got married 5th April. Ive never been through so many emotions so fast in one week but with all your family and friends surrounding you, you'll get through it, sending huge hugs your way xxxx

Oh Millz I'm so sorry. Could you have a photo of your dad somewhere prominant at the venues? I think Valentina's idea of your dad recording his speech is brilliant, and maybe you could include a song that he really loves somewhere. You need to make his presence felt.

could you maybe get him to record it so you can put it on cd so its just his voice hun then no one has to see him poorly and like Elinor said have a photo of him? x

You've just made me cry, thanks ladies for kind words. Tehcnology is amazing nowadays, will speak to Dad and see what he wants to do. The day will be filled with emotions as my grandma is finding it very challenging and guarentee she will be crying which sets me off but i cant hold it back.

We had already booked honeymoon to Cuba in October so cant be changed but going to go out to Singapore early next year on my own and spend some father/daughter time together which will be lovely. xxx

I'm so so sorry to hear this; I welled up reading that, so can't imagine how you must feel. But, I think your dad's requests are lovely, and I'm also wondering, can you sent up a video link or something for the ceremony? (I don't know the rule about this though).

I also wonder whether you could skype him during the speeches, so he can say a few words? Might be worth speaking to the venue about to see if that's a possibility.

*Massive hugs*

don't cancel - he wouldn't want that and it'd make him feel bad...

It's bloomin' awful though - and I wish him all the best for a very speedy recovery... he'll always be there with you regardless though xx

Millz, Im really sorry to hear about your Dad being ill again. I remember how pleased you were when he got the all clear.

I cant begin to imagine the emotions you are going through knowing he is poorly again but to combine it with the emotions of him not being able to attend - I cant even comprehend for you.

All you can do is to continue with your day, at your Dads insistence, and do the things your Dad has asked. If you get upset during the day about his absence, no-one will think any less of you and I would reckon they'd think it a bit odd if you didnt.

Is there no way his treatment could be brought forward/pushed back to allow him to attend?

Further to my post, my dad passed away on Sunday! We rushed out to Singapore on Sunday morning so say our goodbyes but he had ammonia and couldn't hold on.... I'm so upset and my dad clearly stated to my step-mum that I get married and he will be their in spirit xxx

O hon so so sorry to hear this! Massive massive hugs to you and yours xx

So sorry to hear this Amelia. Thoughts are with you and your family x

thoughts are with you and your family, so sorry for your loss, we are always here to listen and be there for you xx

owww milz this is the post none of us wanted to see. really feel for you be strong for your dad thinking of you xx

I just cried telling my OH about this, I am devastated for you, so so sorry to hear this.
He will be there is spirit and enjoy your day knowing he is watching you.

Xxx

So sorry for your loss xxxx

So very sorry for your loss x

Sorry for your loss babes :-( been so sad reading all ur Facebook posts, such a sad sad day

oh no i was really hoping i wouldn't see this post too...so sorry for your loss, thinking of you...xx

So sorry. My sister-in-law lost her dad a couple of months before the wedding, and his presence was so clear. The most moving bit was when her eldest brother, who gave her away, answered the question about who gives this woman, on behalf of my Dad, and my Mum, I do. Your Dad will have the best seat there.

So sorry for your loss hun, my thoughts are with you and all of your family xxx

as i said on facebook hun i'm really sorry for your loss and i hope that you continue with the wedding.

***HUGS*** my thoughts are with you and your family xxxx