Wedding Forum - Band VS DJ Round Two... UPDATE 18.03...

...or is it three??

So many of you know that I have had many an issue with band or dj. I had my heart set on a band but over last few weeks have raised concerns with myself. You know, no dj inbetween so empty dance floor, then everything being all regimented and scheduled and just pants.....but didnt want to cancel cause costs, and so short notice, and just dont know what to do.
So brought it up with the folks.
Resulted in a major stress at the folks last night regarding this whole band no dj situation. got to the point where i was on comp in tears and my parents and OH were sitting watching bloomin comic relief! basically OH kept saying well from the start i said a band would be an issue and i prefer a DJ, dad was saying do whatever I prefer, forget the financial side for a minute focus on what i want... but i cant ignore the fact we'd waste money etc. Mom was being totally unhelpful. ugh was a nightmare, and after spending all day seeing people going are you nervous excited about your big day as its so close etc?

I was like... nervous? No. Excited? No. Done. Yes. Want to quit? YES PLEASE.

Anyway, emailed the band agent last night asking about their pre recorded/dj option, if this dj option was it a real dj etc or just as they had originally mentioned pre recorded ipod playlists etc.
I havent heard back yet.
I also emailed a DJ company recommended by our venue. I didnt expect to hear back till Monday at earliest.
He called me this morning. We were on the phone for 50, yes FIFTY minutes. He was so understanding and lovely and nice. He said he picks up vibes really easy - always good for a DJ - and noticed in my email that a reply probably wouldnt be as good as a phone call so hoped I didnt mind him calling me.
I voiced all my concerns and poured it all out and he completely understood - yes ok hes a stranger and its his job to book clients...but you know when they are selling and when they are compassionate and understanding.
His company have worked with our venue for YEARs they are their prime venue, and even did many an opening for the new rooms, including the one we will be having. He is happy to work alongside the band or without entirely up to us, but his company have done many a wedding/party with bands etc so no the routines. and willing to do it for £80 less as in discount with no extra for Sunday, late notice, bank holiday, or VAT. and same price with or without the band.
Written everything down, relayed it back to my Dad and worked out, if we go with the band we only need an extra £200 for the DJ, whereas if we cancel the band and pay 3/4 of their bill (if cancel within 90 days have to pay 75%) plus the DJ then we aren't paying any extra... yes ok we're paying more for a DJ as it were but no extra in terms of budget.Hmmm.
Dad just said speak with OH and do what you feel is best. But I just dont know! Too much on MY shoulders and my shoulders alone, Dad admitted he is passing the buck!

I think we will end up going for both that way get best of both worlds.
My main concern is the breaks between the sets and pre recorded, they either work or dont. if its a bad song choice your screwed. Playlists cant pick up on a mood and change to suit. Whereas a DJ can. As he put it, when your in the car with radio on, a song comes on and you blast it from the rooftops, singing along to your hearts content, other drivers staring at you cuz you realise youve gone all karaoke on them in traffic and windows open... then 2 hours later, same song comes on and you quickly switch radio stations you know?

Also with both, if the first band set is pants we can turn around say thanks but no thanks and at least we have the DJ to bring it around!!
DJ also suggested, its a bit tongue in cheek but you could always ask the agent if they can discount the band slightly, as no worrying about ipod playlists and meet ups to discuss song choices etc. Also you can bull a bit and say you went to a wedding and the whole pre recorded really frightenend you so your going with your venue DJ so is there any way they can knock off something from their price to help compensate for paying for a DJ, especially as DJ can provide extra lighting/floor etc to big up the band and talk them up, introduce them etc.

Ahhhh i wish I did this months ago and wasnt out of pocket.
The talk alone has sort of de stressed me to a certain extent, got to wait till OH is home and relay it all back to him and see what he says. which will be do what you want. or whatever, not my money so i cant comment. or i told you so. helpful much!

What would you do?

(sorry for the length understand if people read and run!)
x

Wow that was one long post!!
If I was you I would have both it sounds like you are getting so stressed out about it in the first place it would be worth the money just to relieve the stress! Sorry for the short answer but I can't really say any more. xxx

Agree with the other ladies, get the dj. It gives you peace of mind and options.

Go for both. It gives peace of mind and £200 is not a lot if it gives you the wedding of your dreams xx

It is stressful, especially when everyone says 'well, what do you want?' and you're not sure yourself.

Do you think you will regret not having the band after the event? Xx

hey hun, i think you should go for both. It sounds as tho you and OH definitely want to have the DJ for at least part of it, and as you said you might aswell pay for both as it'd cost the same having to cancel the band cos of their cancellation fee. And again, if the band aren't really feeling the 'vibe' of the night you can just tell them 'thanks for what you've sung so far, DJ will take it from here' Personally i think having both is a great option as you can have a live band play for your first dance, which gives an intimate/special touch, and have them singing at the beginning when new evening guests are arriving so you'll be doing lots of meeting/greeting etc but then as the night moves on and people get a bit merrier you can get the DJ going to really pick up the party! xx

I'm having both Lula.... I think you are doing the right thing booking a dj as well as a band...

We are going to have the dj start the party off then then band come on about 9 till 10 break for half an hour while dj plays again then band will play again for another hour then the dj will finish off.

I'm getting the dj to play first dance song I think.

It will be fine Hun honestly. Xx

The whole thing about band was them playing first dance...so if we want MJ and go for the first dance through DJ now im like whats point in band??? hmmmm....

Nicoleee_X i would but they aren't local its through an agency x

Oh ive heard samples of their work on the agency site and stuff, hence why booked them etc but cant be 100% with anything can you? Just depends how much of a risk im willing to take! x

aw right ok.

yeh im in a bit of a pickle!!! x

Hmm I see what you mean...MJ songs are hard to pull off!

Also, personally I wouldn't feel comfortable enou to book a band I had never seen live...we're quite lucky as our band play locally regularly so have seen them a few times. I can see why you're in a dilemma.

The band we have are going to make a pre recording of our first dance song so we can listen to it, as onstage versions of songs can very quite a bit from album versions xx

Oh lou id give it a miss to be honest more i read the more i think waste of money x

we have to pay 75% of their bill if we cancel, plus the money for the DJ it all comes to the same amount as if we just had the band by themselves if that makes sense? so if we cancel band and just have dj then its £x.xx but with band AND DJ its £x.xx plus £.
But yeh, thinking about it im leaning towards that..... Unfortunately.

My parents were funding the entertainment side of things & they said put the finance bit to the side, cause they know thats a big concern of mine but I can't help but worry that it is a waste. especially with what that could go towards etc. but i feel now that even though we're going to be spending 3 x the amount the DJ costs (technically) on the DJ.. it feels like he is worth the extra money the way he was on phone and what he offers and his credibility/reputation etc whereas band seems like a let down and waste of pennies spent with or without them attending. does that make sense?

x

I do see your point indeed MrsB! however all thats changed is a list of questions not neccessarily any actual changes unfortunately. also, their T&Cs say under 90 days cancel then 75% must be paid, within 60 days then 100%.
I read through and then spoke to someone and thats the same info i have been given.
The only way its free of charge is if band and client both cancel themselves. so screwed really. with or without them.

think ive come to the conclusion im cancelling. I definitely did last night & need to do it before i change my mind....
Will speak with DJ first as i originally said id call him back Sunday and havent.
He did say he would charge the same amount whether we had band or not, so saving a good £80ish with him already.

x

i just booked the DJ. I was speaking to him about this whole '20' songs for like what 3hrs of the night... its ridiculous.

He was saying that DJs for weddings have lost so much work in recent years because of this. People love that bands do their own 'dj' options and by the time they find out the real situation its to late to cancel.
Its like when you see a band in a pub, once their set is done background music is played and people go off for drinks or outside to chat and that is becoming the same with bands in weddings and last thing he wants is for bride/grooms big day to have an empty room.
So yeh.
DJ booked.

Currently working on cancel email to the band agency. This shall be fun.

Thanks for all your advice and input ladies..sorry if i seem like im moaning about ridiculous things... i know i should be grateful really. I am but yeh. x

I've sent the email. I've said that just due to unforeseen circumstances cannot go ahead. I am aware a charge of 75% is due as it is within 61-90 days of the booked date, can she please confirm that the figure i have is correct.

There we go. AHhhhhh! Im all sicky now.