You are calling it off because you can't cut back on expense or postpone or both? Its a bit drastic but its up to you and him so anyway whatever you decide good luck x
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
Oh no, how come?? Can you not cut back on expenses or put the wedding back as the other ladies have suggested? You may just be saying this now as you're stressed about money, don't make rash decisions based on how you're feeling at the time! xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorMrs Jones
Like the other ladies said, cutback a bit. Theres lots of us on serious budget weddings. My budget is £1000 x
Got together - 05.11.2006
Engaged - 05.11.2009
Married - 22.05.2013
CommentAuthorJoanna
So sorry to hear that. If the problem is just the expense, try to cut back. You can do a wedding cheaply if you just want to get married, you don't have to do the whole big expensive day
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorAmyP7
So sorry but like has said before why don't you cut back or set a date which you can save for x x
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Yeah, it's mainly my partner tbh, he wants the whole thing. The only thing I actually want is the dress. I don't want a wedding breakfast he does. He wants to invite 'family friends' and i just want family at our actual ceremony. He's over sizing everything and everything I'm planning is everything he wans. So now I'm thinking about it, it's probably a good idea to quit while I'm ahead. It's not even my wedding I'm planning, it's his. Trying to speak about this turns into a big argument and I end up being called the 'selfish' one. I'm so annoyed, angry,upset ATM! Grrrrr/Cry!!!
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
Can you not calmly explain to him how much all of this is going to cost? & that the most important thing is that you will be married? if he insists on having everything he wants, then you need to tell him that you'll have to push the date back so you have more saving time xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorRosyF77
aww poor you...dont give up xx
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
aww, try have a wee chat with him hun and maybe compromise? x
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Yeah I've told him and he's happy to move the date, but it's more the fact that I'm moving the date for everything he wants it jut doesn't seem fair.
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthorHannahD47
If you were to break down the cost and show him it in black and white would it change his mind? For example SHOWING him that the wedding breakfast is made up of all these costs (and list them individually) would he maybe change his mind on how important it is?
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
Well that's not entirely fair if it's all because of everything HE wants. As princess said, you both need to compromise & find a middle ground where you're both happy xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
Sorry to hear this hun, but quite frankly your h2b is being out of order! Marriage is all about compromise and if he can't compromise on the actual wedding, what is it going to be like for the rest of your life together? Sit down and show him everything, mark what he wants and what you want and go through it with him showing him that it is out of balance and not fair. Work out which bits are most important for both of you and try to come to a compromise on who gets final decision on what. If that doesn't work, then I am sorry to say that in my opinion you shouldn't marry him full stop as he obviously doesnt want to take your feelings into account, and that shouldn't be the case in a relationship xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
Could I just ask who's paying for the wedding? Are you two splitting the cost between you? His parents contribiting a bit? etc
CommentAuthorAmyP7
It's true marriage is about compromise and he needs to work with you and get what you both want x x
CommentAuthorInDreamland
from LinziJo
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Maybe he is not sure on the costs of everything, maybe he wants the biggest and best as he is trying to show off to someone else, a family member maybe?? Wants to show who can have the better wedding.
Like the others have said, sit down with him with a list of how much things will cost and then see if he is prepared to compromise on something.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Yeah you ladies are right, as Ive been sitting on my own owrking everything out to the how much we need to save p.c.m, we are both paying for the wedding and so far, its only been my mum who has said she will pay completely for the wedding cake and help me pay for my dress, his mother would never offer us anything as she doesnt see me as someone who should be marrying her son, Ive actually told him we are pretty much paying £5000 for people to eat! Its just getting ridiculous expensive and hes inviting people because theyve invited to their wedding and "family friends" which is pretty much all to do with his mother and her friends have got to be there, if I mentioned one of our "family friends" like ast night, he starts asking for a reason and how long weve known them to compare? Its just a complete joke at the minute, I do love him with all my heart and I know he loves me too, but this is just ridiculous, I think when I finish work tonight and we are both home, I will show him everything, but it just feels like hes happy to postpone the wedding or extend the date to 2015 just to suit what he wants, which doesnt seem right/fair... Ah I dont know, thank you ladies xxx
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthorShazk
oh huni it doesnt seem right at all, i can understanding changing date to save more (that what we are doing and actaully it a reliefe) but if its just him thats wants all teh costly stuff you need to talk to him the important part is that you become HUSBAND AND WIFE not who u invite or what u do and yes lots prob a dream day with all the fancy stuff but if that not possible you make the day what you want and can afford x
Think talking to him and showing him the fugures and stuff may shcok him and make him reaise the extra exspence that nots needed xxx
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Yeah, I think mainly its because he thinks I want this big show off day, when Really, I dont, Im not really interested in a wedding breakfast, but he is so I thought right well I cant have everything my way, but then now its coming to the point where Im inviting people I dont know and dont really like... I searched and searched for a church for us cause thats originally what he wanted and now hes not happy with the only church thats actually going to marry us, cause he was expecting some sort of cathedral, that you can only marry in if youre roman catholic and the church I found is lovely and the reverend is lovely too, cant wait to meet us as I want to talk to the rev about what exactly happens and what to expect, so I see him on 2nd February. But he doesnt actually realise how many phone calls, emails Ive done for everything! Its drove me insane all these figures but Ive sat silently with my headphones in plotting it all out. I think he genuinely thinks I want to have all this "posh" stuff, I mean yes he venue is beautiful but I have to hire 2 rooms and one of which is £1500 and a minimum number of guests for the wedding breakfast is 80 @ £45ph! Plus £4 for toasting drink and then also to pay for the evening buffet later on at £18ph minimum number of 80! SO I found myself just adding people on the list because we really liked the venue and this one particular room, the other room is £500 and we have our ceremony in it... But thats not including room decoration etc.... Its just getting more and more expensive, it would be fine to move the date to 2015, but then, really, things will be more expensive, so its never going to end! :( ahhhh man! xx
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthorAlytaR
I really feel for ya. Perhaps you can show him some pictures online or something of really nice looking weddings that were really cheap. Just don't reveal the cost to him until afterwards.
My budget is super super tight but we are having a church wedding and a weddingbreakfast and party in a village hall that we are decorating ourselves. The venue only cost £373 including kitchen crockery etc for 3 days. And we have approx 150 guests
Honestly it can be done, he probably just needs to see a picture or 2 perhaps one expensive and one cheaper. See if he can see the point of spending so much.
And by the way your venue costs are ridiculously high, I could never justify spending that much money. Those food prices are astronomical.
Good luck xx
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
They are ridiculous, we live in newcastle upon tyne and I just cant find anywhere that isnt expensive! xx
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthorShazk
sadly yes it will go up by 2015 that is one of our problems but some places are happy to hold the price if you book now is that an option?? if you can decide betweent eh 2 of you what it is you want and where u want it xxx
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
I'm feeling in a rather practical mood today, so here goes:
He's being a right prat!
First thing I would do is sit him down and tell him the stress of all this is really getting to you and its not what you want. Explain exactly what type of wedding YOU want. Find out why he wants what he says he wants.
Discuss how much money he's willing to pay towards this wedding, double it (your contribution), and set that as the budget. Then suggest that he goes and locates a venue etc based on that budget. Give him a list of everything that will need to be paid for out of that budget first though - he's bound to forget about centre pieces, guest book, invitations, gifts for mothersd, MOH etc otherwise and spend the entire budget on a venue. Sit back, relax, and wait for the penny to drop!!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Just a thought, what about looking on that group site for a voucher in your area for a package. You could have your whole wedding there and so many guests, and then I think you pay so much for extra guests on top.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Yeah I'm thinking about just doing that now. Just give him a clean page in a book and let him go and see what he comes back with. It's the only thing I can do to make him realise we're not as loaded as he'd like to think!! Good idea, I will have a look now! Xxx
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthormillz090
I think you both need to compromise.... you sound like you are agreeing with him to keep him happy but actually its YOUR wedding day too and you need to make him realise that. Does he want the wedding or the marriage? If the marriage was so important to him then maybe he would be compromising more so the date is being pushed back?! Sounds to me he just wants a big show off wedding and can wait for it rather than wanting to marry you ASAP. The guest list should be agreed by you both and i also think the bride and groom should know and like everyone on it and not be his family friends you have never meet.xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Yeah hunny I know, the only way we will get this sorted is if we can actually talk about it without it causing some sort of argument, he always thinks Im having a go at him, but I just want him to understand that just cause he gets invited to such and sucvh wedding doesnt mean it has to be vice versa! I dont even know some of these guests and one of their husbands is a trouble maker, hes horrible! But, he just always thinks im being selfish and I want everything my way?!! xx
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthormillz090
I think you need to make him listen and if keeps causing an argument then maybe putting the wedding off is not a bad thing.... you sound like you have some issues that need sorting out first. Sorry if harsh xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorKayleyV
awww no thats not good :( hope things get sorted for u xx
From the first time i saw him i knew that i loved him...
I finally found the end of the rainbow :)
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
That's awful that he hasn't been listening to how u feel, I sometimes think this with my h2b to be honest but because he earns more than me, I've told him if he wants certain things he can pay the price difference but not all couples can do that but I definitely agree that u should be compromising on a few things, it is just one day after all xx
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Well ladies I have news for you, we actually SPOKE last night! :O can you believe it!! and I agreed that I think I was getting a bit cranky doing all this and it was stressing me thinking of how we going to afford it. But when we were talking last night, he said he just wanted the best for me as thats what I deserve so he was saying all this, thinking that I wanted it all... he thought I was saying no because I really did, I just didnt want to say (cause I usually do that).... So, now we've talked about it I think he understand where I'm coming from, especially when I showed him how much everything is! So I have turned a new page in my wedding finance book and will be looking at stuff I really want! He said the words Ive been meaning to hear: "I dont care if its not fancy, I thought you wanted all that, just as long as Im marrying you, thats all that matters!" WAHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :) XXXXX
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Aww that's brilliant news xx
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorMrs C to be!
That's fab news. Glad you managed to get it sorted. X
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Aw thats fab news Kayleigh :) knew you could sort it out!!! xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorPoppy x
That's really great news! Now you're both back on the same page, the fun begins :))
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Lets hope this is the only bump in the road!! :) Im so glad we actually sorted it out last night! When I came home from work I was expecting a battlefield and I was plotting all my strategies, but came home to a peaceful man who had made my tea and a brew to warm me up :) haha, I think sometimes I zone out when Im stressing about stuff and I prefer not to talk much, so Im really glad we talked about it and now we can both say what we are wanting xxx
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I'm so pleased you have worked it all out hun :) xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorKayleighH98
Me too Linzi :) I think I must over exxagerate scenarios in my head thinking an expecting the worst x
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I think everyone does that! We all have a tendency to think it over in our head and decide that we already know what the other person is going to say without actually asking them first! lol But it's great that you have both agreed now and you can get on with planning a wedding that you are both happy with :) xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorHannahD47
Glad you're all sorted :)
xx
CommentAuthorTamster
Amazing talking sorts it all out keep reassuring him that its a day for both of you too enjoy get him involved and delegate jobs so that you don't stress out x
Unwrapping the best pressie ever December 7th 2013
CommentAuthor2bMrsManson
Aww fantastic so glad you have managed to sort things out xx
Met 27/01/2006
Had our son 06/04/2007
17/05/2014 My Dreams Will All Come True
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
That's fab news !! Now you can stop stressing & you can happily plan together knowing you both know where you stand! & he's right, as long as you're marrying, the other things don't really matter! So pleased for you xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorJoannaS
really fab news that he listened and now you can plan what you want x
from LinziJo
