Had a really rubbish day today and I feel like crying. Had a huge argument with the H2B over washing pots (or my lack of as he says, bcoz Im lazy? pfttt me lazy he needs look at himself) n if I don't change it's over, if I had help and a house to be proud of I would wash pots n do more round the house (at present we both do the bare minimum bcoz we dispise the area) and then I have a nice day trip out to Cadbury with my parents and Grandma and out for tea and on our way home we drove past my dream wedding venue, so I casually brought up the subject.... well all hell broke loose then, mother started 1) If you are to get married you are not having a wedding package you will have what you want, I mentioned the package was £3k for the bare minimum and you said you couldn't afford it.... plus I don't expect you to help out because you didn't pay towards my sisters wedding and his parents can't afford it so I don't want them to feel awkward. 2) You can't get married until you got a career sorted (I'm 25 with 1 career in mind which I have tried to get into but not been too successful at the moment) I have a full time job as a senior admin/office manager of a small family run business, I also work with my sis who got me the job (but its not her company) 3) You aren't marrying him - I asked why, to get the response - he doesn't treat you well enough. Well you would say that because i don't tell you the good things (like him cooking my tea regular, takes me out for nice meals, always pulls holidays out of the bag for presents n such like he always puts a hell of alot of thought into what he buys me) and when I do tell you he done nice things you have obviously forgot that 4) If you were so dead set mother on not liking him, why did he ask YOU if we could get engaged (not dad YOU) and YOU yes YOU said yes!!
I've been texting Byron throughout the day and had very little response, I've come home he's still at his friends and I could get in bed very easily and cry myself to sleep. We have been together nearly 9yrs (the longest out of most of the girls in my school yr) and they are all starting to get married and have kids and I am starting to feel like I'll be the one who won't get married. Yes we have a mortgage so that's commitment but I want to feel like a princess and have the special day that all my friends r doing.
CommentAuthorUnknown
sorry you have had a bad day too. mine has been awful!
i think you need to sit down with your h2b and have a very serious and open conversation. we had to do it tonight, its not nice but sometimes needs to be done.
dont worry about your mum, i know it is hard but maybe she was having a bad day too and just took it out on you? xx
CommentAuthorHeLz
Oh no! One of those days! Think we all have them, hope it's got it out ur system a bit. You will get there, just gotta keep at it xxx
CommentAuthordolphin
think theres something in the water as me and h2b had a go at me yesterday (on our 3 year anniversary i might add) but he did apologise, then we had a minor disagreement today, but we sat and talked it through, altought like you we were texting each other constantly as he was out with his boys (who he only sees every other weejend) and i didnt go as ive had a horrible cold all weekend. Its best to get it sorted as soon as possible. Maybe your mums realising that shes going to be losing/marrying off another daughter (hope that sounds right) and she cant come to terms with it, or maybe shes having a bad day too. x hope you can get things sorted. x
cant wait to marry the man of dreams 18/5/2013
The first time was a rehursal, this time its for life.
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
oh hun im sorry about how you feel babe. i wish i could tell you it will all be okies i can offer a virtual hug and sympathtic ear, im sure you will have your day, tell your mum hes the man you love and that you wanna spend your life with him, she will come round, im sorry hunny *hugs* xx
He's come home n seems ok with me, neither me nor him r good with words face to face!!! I always end up a blubberin mess, I've done that since being little, I was always the one to hide in my room n shout down the stairs to talk to mum n explain etc... I think christmas is havin its toll plus I think my mums worried about my grandma, she's 76 (i think) and her healths starting to fail as Im her only grandchild (my sis is my dads daughter) but my mum still classes her as a daughter, but yeah my gran is gettin old n as im her only grandchild I want her to see me get married she's always been fit as a fiddle my gran but these last few years she got old n i want to make her proud of me before its too late! I know my mum doesn't want to see me go really as i am very close to her, more so since me n byron bought our own place. Im her baby and always will, she said to me the other week about having kids cant remember how the topic came up but she said i had to get my career sorted!! i'm never gonna have the career she wants overnight n as long as I keep applying for the dream job and show her I am commited to getting in I hope she sees im serious n i have to grow up!! I defo think theres somethin in the air every1 i know seems to be havin disagreements!!!!! i hate life!! its too complicated, I want it to be simple and straightforward...
CommentAuthorbabybex
ta for ur words guys much appreciated, its amazing how better u feel once u had a little rant!! Can't talk to my best mate at the mo coz she's havin marriage problems n i cant burden it on her!!!!
CommentAuthordolphin
maybe your mums trying to take her mind off your gran. i know it sounds silly, but maybe write down some things you want to tell your h2b it works for me sometimes, then eventually i say sorry(if its my fault) then we hug an cuddle and kiss.x
cant wait to marry the man of dreams 18/5/2013
The first time was a rehursal, this time its for life.
CommentAuthorbabybex
kiss?! whats one of them I live with the worlds most unaffectionate person! lol xx I may email him with it instead! we talk better via email!
CommentAuthordolphin
lol. ok try anything if its going to work, or maybe even text him.
cant wait to marry the man of dreams 18/5/2013
The first time was a rehursal, this time its for life.
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
i was there a few days ago, see my rant 'am i being selfish' lol we all get to a point sometimes when lifes pressures put a strain on the relationship and one person breaks and it starts a massive row and it doesnt even have to be over something big such as washing up! hope u guys have sorted it now.
one thing that confuses me is why ur mum sees that u have to have a career b4 u get married?? surely u could still achieve this after ur married, a wedding doesnt change u, and maybe ur happy with the job u have atm and dont want the career she wants u to have. seems a bit silly 2 me, ur a grown woman im sure u can decide for urself who u want to marry and when and what job u have, its ur life to live not hers, sorry if that sounds harsh but it is. i understand about u wanting ur nan to c u get married aswell so do what u wanna do and if ur family care they will support u even if they think they r the wrong decisions x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorbabybex
My mum wants me to have a career so me n H2B are more financially secure than what we currently r, Im not sayin we skint, but it would be nice to get some more money comin in a month, but who else wouldnt want that? She's scared to see her baby growing up coz the next thing would be a child. I am very happy with my job, just got 1 pay rise due to get it topped up even more in march, yes it's not a career as such but it's a job and it pays pretty ok considering I dropped outta uni!! She does try to relive her life through me and I do put her straight, I think this is the conversation she has always dreaded, my dad is laid back as he been there done it with my sis (who may i add is 19yr older than me!! - old fart!!! lol) I'm hoping because I kept my cool with her n explained how much I have planned (even tho we havent set a date) she may come to realise I am being serious n its what i want!!
I know what ur tryin to say and don't worry I understand the way you mean it. I've been mollycuddled all my life off my mum and she doesn't like the independence I have these days!
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
aw well hopefully it starts to sink in with her and then she can start enjoying things with u instead of being scared of them x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorbabybex
ta hun xx will keep u updated once we talked again and she sees that im gettin old and need to settle down!!
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
lol it must be scary for mums especially if ur close but its something we all have to realise eventually! cant imagine my kids even being teenagers let alone adults! feels weird the thought of it! x
