Hi Ladies,
Recently ive been having loads of baby orientated dreams, whether it be that i have a new baby, or im pregnant, or like last night had a 2 year old which was mine but they had no name....my husband came home to see the baby had a arsenal kit on (were all chelsea fans) really really strange!! Especially as you'd think id be having wedding dreams.
So youre probably thinking, ok....
I have a 7 year old from a previous relationship, and have always wanted 2 children. It was never planned to have them with 2 different people but thats just how it is. My OH has taken on my son (who now shares his last name) When we first got together three years ago i told him i wanted to try for a baby.... we was both on vitamins etc. After 6 months of us being together i miscarried. But was unknown to us i was even pregnant. So after this, we went to the doctors and started of the process of finding out the problem, as i knew it could never be me because ive miscarried twice before and had one child. So, we went to the doctors an had tests done, i was fertile, and my OH had a sperm count done, it came back that he has an abmormally low sperm count, he doesnt smoke, or anything. He used to wear tight boxers and hes a lil over weight. So, the doctor asked him if we wanted to have IVF has the first one would be free on nhs..... unknown to me he turned it down. :(
This was about 1 year ago, ive learnt to deal with it, because hes not really into kids, (he leaves a shop if theres a crying baby) But hes great with his neices and nephews and even my boy. I guess ive just come to the idea that he doesnt want a child and just dealt with it. BUT.....
sometimes i get really broody and would love to have another child of my own. My sister in laws (2 of them) ones just had a baby, ones due in feb my MOH due in april and my sister due in july. It killing me. I actually love spending out all this money spoiling them, but its just not the same.
Again i know i said my OH isnt that much into kids, but lately hes been saying 'if' it happens it happens. And if we ever had a child he'd want to call his child Issac. Sometimes makes me think that he'd like to have a child of his own. I know it must be hard coz it is for me when people say, are you gunna have anymore.....and were like no, ones enough, just sometimes it isnt....
His family arent very sensitive when it comes to things and always call him a jaffa.... it hurts me too. its no one business. So why cant they just leave it.
Im on the pill because its just easier, and i know it may sound selfish to some of you, but sometimes i 'forget' to take my pill just in that small chance we might get pregnant. But then i think nope we cant do this, were saving for a wedding, struggling with making ends meet, a baby would break us. Im in two minds about it all.
I think after the wedding once were all settled into married life i may suggest we try again. I know hes just as scared as i am.
Im not asking for anyones advice.... i just wondered if there was anyone else in the same boat as me who understands me.

Thanks Char.. its good to know that theres women out there that are on the other side of this. Thanks for your input x