I'm only having my children at the wedding who will be 8,5 and almost 4... I'm not having any other children,not even my niece,they can like it or lump it, this will apply if h2b's sisters get pregnant and have a baby before the wedding, I'm not being funny but surely your brothers girlfriends parents (who will be the other set of grandparents) could look after the baby for that one day?x

I think u should suggest that option, I think mums are the worst when it comes to kids and babies at weddings, but it's your day, so u should have the choice on guests you want!

Ive had the exact same problem. There was no babies invited at all, or children for that matter. Then one of my friends announces she is pregnant! and is bringing the baby (who will be one by then) to the wedding...
so im like noooooo i didnt want kids. But when I told people they said i was being bridezilla and cannot put a pregnancy ban on my guests! lol. which is obviously true.

I thought about it and if one of my bridesmaids had a baby now, I wouldnt dream of telling them the baby wasnt coming. So i cant do it for other guests. Also, everyone is at a different stage in their life and cant all hold on to have a baby, to fit in with your plans. (ive had this talk from my mum, so just para phrasing!!)

I know exactly how you feel, and we have done exactly the same with the initmate wedding, our own vows and readings etc. But I hope that if a baby cries during any of it, the mum should have the initiative and courtesy to take the baby away quickly and settle it, so as not to interupt. Have a word with her before if you think it will be a problem.
Im guessing when your saying your vows, nobody else in the world will matter. And just remember, if it was your baby, you might be offended if your brother didnt invite his first neice/nephew and it could cause family friction that you dont need!

Good luck! xx

We're only having 3 children, my sister who is a BM & will be 9, my goddaughter who is a FG & will be 1 & a half & h2b's neice/goddaughter who is also a FG & will be 2 & a half. We've told everybody else that we do not wish to have children there & they've understood & are grateful for a night off! xx

I can see where you're coming from, but personally I don't see the problem with having babies at a wedding. I've been married before and can speak from experience that my sister had a baby that was one month old by the time that wedding came and i didn't notice any crying on the day, when the baby started to cry, my sister's husband just took her out the room, so maybe your brother's girlfriend could just do that? I just think that if it was me, I'd be worrying most of the day about my baby and if they were okay and if the person looking after them were coping alright. I think really it's nice to have babies at a wedding, so can't say anything that will really help you on this subject. xxx

Yeah, agree with Joanna there hun xxx You could have some nice pictures taken with the baby xxx

It is your choice and if you really dont want them there then say no however be prepared for some backlash i think. how old will the baby be at your wedding? What if she is breast feeding? wont really be able to leave the baby for too long so be prepared for them to leave early potentially. This will be your niece/nephew so dont you want them in the family pictures? they will be part of your family?

We are not inviting friends children, only families children as my family too and most people dont mind but i know if i told my brother he couldnt bring my niece/nephew especially as a baby he would be quite hurt and upset with me. However we have a few babies coming and i know their mothers would take the children out if they are crying out of respect for the wedding going ahead.
xxx

By the time my wedding finally gets here there will be 2 2yr olds so thinking of making little goodie bags to keep them busy or let them have lil sweets or choccies to hopefully keep them quiet during the service One will be our lil mini me and his or her cousin as sil wants to have a child Sept 2014 and as there ares and family Nannies will have to keep them quiet and busy so good luck to nannies as terrible 2s. =D X

My h2b was adament that he didn't want any children at the wedding, until I pointed out that this meant that none of his 5 nieces or nephews could come to the wedding, so now we are allowing children, a few people who will still have small children have already said that they won't be bringing them, as for the others, there is an area in the church with loads of toys and the parents will all be reminded before hand that if their children start playing up then they are to take them out immediately!
I know a lot of people who have stated that there will be no children at their wedding, we compromised and said that children must all be gone by 7pm so the adults can have a drink and a dance without worrying about any children being around their feet. The people who said complete No to their weddings didn't seem to have too many issues, people need to remember that it is your day, if you don't want children there then you shouldn't be forced to have them there.

To be honest, i don't think you can say to someone that they can come to the wedding with their baby, and then ask them to stay outside the ceremony room for the entire service, what would be the point in her being there in that case? I'm sure if the baby starts to cry, she'll go outside to calm the baby down anyway, as most people do this. I think it's a lot of worry over nothing xxx

Each to their own opinion.... some people dont like kids so why would they have them at their wedding?

Honestly, if someone 'got in a tizz' when I'd already relaxed my stance and agreed that they could bring their baby to the reception, because it wasn't allowed at a ceremony, they're not someone I'd care to have at my wedding in the first place.

I haven't said I want them to stay outside.
The ceremony venue is very small and once seated is hard to sneak out if baby cries.
The day we have panned is seperste to the reception which is held on another day. Which I don't mind baby at. The wedding ceremony has things planned in it that arnt suitable for children so young and its what we want and don't want to change it.
the baby will be less than a year old. They already have children from prev relationships that are bridesmaids bit they are older and when I asked girlfriends children my brother wasn't happy id asked them.
It is only the ceremony I don't want any babies at yes they may nit cry but again it may cry, it can't be Snook out as said before.
I'm fine if they want to stay with baby.

No I wouldn't regret it. Id regret it more if we had baby there and it cried and also wed have to alter alot of plans,
The venue is very small 2 exits one is up wooden stairs and the other would mean passing and disturbing me and groom.

We have saved and planned this so much that we don't want to change things. We only doing it once!!

Go with what's best for you then hun, if you really believe that it will disrupt your day, then just say it how you want it xxx

my lo was 5 months old at my friends wedding, and 15 at sil2b wedding and at both weddings i was asked to take the baby out if he started cryinng/playing up. (which i did) both brides said that they didnt even notice he was there. and he did start to cry during one of the readings so we did take him out.

having been to a friends wedding this weekend i would rather there be no children at my wedding. The couple have a little girl who is 18 months and it was kind of awkward at times because we all took turns in keeping her amused during the day which was fine i guess. But a the critical point during service whilst exchanging vows the inevtiable happened she toddles over to mum and dad (the bride and groom) asking for cuddles and to be picked up so i felt a bit sorry for them both really that they couldn't even enjoy that just the two of them and of course as the day wore on their daughter got more tired and grumpy the more of a damper it became. Maybe thats because i don't have children so i don't understand the bond you have but it just felt like the day was hard work for them and i don't think anyone should feel like that on their wedding day?

We're not having any children, and fortunately the time has passed now for any pregnancies to land us in this dilemma, because I'm not really sure what we'd do! I don't have a problem with children that are old enough to understand the importance of what's happening and can sit still and quietly through the ceremony, but both the weddings I went to last summer had babies crying and toddlers running around, and even though the parents were fairly proactive in trying to deal with them, there's only so much they can do. The screams of the toddler as they were picked up and taken out (by his dad, who was best man) grated on me as a guest, it would have driven me mad if it was our wedding.

I think a lot of it would depend on whether the baby would take up a guest space or not, if you'd have to not invite someone to the day to make room for a baby you don't want there anyway, that would be an impossible situation for us, we're right up to capacity as it is on our essentials, let alone the people we really want there. However, if the baby was *free* as it were, and it was a case of someone we really wanted there who had a very young child that was too young to be left, I think a compromise would have to be made, depending on the circumstances. To be honest, in your situation, the child will be... 9 months-ish? In my opinion, that would likely be old enough to be able to be left with someone else for the ceremony (half and hour / 45 mins.) At that age I'd not really have a problem with them being at the breakfast, that'll be busy enough for it not to matter if they were crying.

i agree no babies! they are too unpredicatable!!

I really like this conervsation because im in the same situation....

Its my sister who is preganant (she is the maid of honour) and her husband is our Usher, i was afraid that if the baby started crying she/he would be handed to my mum and my mum out of repect for us would take the baby out- and therefore miss my wedding. Its such a difficult one and im suprised how some of my friends have reacted when i have said no children.

I dont think people should say...'why would you not invite your baby niece/nephew to your wedding day- they are family!
its not about not wanting them there, its just when you save and wait for as long as some of the brides have on here you want to hear your vows and your speeches. However you could be lucky and have babies that will sleep through the whole ceremony. I have suggested a babysitter, (a qualified babysitter) to sit in the room next to us, we will of course pay for her, and all the children can play with the games etc that we will provide, but again some of my friends are dead against this. Ive suggested to people that this is what the offer is, if they come they come and we will be happy to see them if they decide not to come then its their loss!

Each to their own i suppose!
I also need to add that it is literally the 20 minute service that i didnt want the children to come to, they are welcome to the meal and evening party.

Hi hun, you said you're not bothered about the reception so just sit your brother & gf down and say to them that before she got pregnant you & h2b had already decided on a no children policy for the ceremony and you're really sorry but you still want to stick to that but then say that you'd love for them to bring the bub to the reception and can't wait to have lots of pics of her when ur in ur dress. I just think you need to be really tactile about what you say, and be quite sugary sweet but being your brother he should understand and respect your wishes but I do know that some people get a bit funny when their children are involved :/ Good luck, let us know how it goes xx

i agree, i said no kid's till after! someone still brought there kids and sisters and brothers along without asking and she knew me and my hubby didnt want them there, and they cried and screamed all way through which put me off and messed up all my vows in front of everyone! i was so angry! were renewing ours vows next year and the person in question is pregnant and think's she's coming, um nope not after last time lol!xx

Im having children only at the reception and if people dont like it, tough! Its my wedding!

I used to care what people thought but i dont now as they will never be satisfied and will always find something to complain about!

Do what you think is best hun. Its you and your h2b day. Dont have regrets

Those of you saying 'no babies' - what about babies under six months who are being exclusively breastfed - you can't expect a breastfeeding mother to leave her baby for hours on end?!

Remember not all breastfeeding mothers find it easy to express milk.

im not having an at mine either
let the parents have a night off..tell them its their turn to let their hair down and not stress
ive said in a ncie way i dont want children around adults when theyve all been drinking they would get bored..good luck x