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  1.  
    • Giraffe
      CommentAuthorGiraffe
     
    Hi all, I am new to the forum although have been browsing since getting engaged a few months ago.

    We are on quite a tight budget and so want to ask friends to do things - eg. cake, photography, music. However a few of the people I have in mind aren't close friends so what do you think is the etiquette regarding paying them. I don't want to be rude but I also don't want them to expect me to pay full price as I probably wont be able to afford it! Any ideas for how to go around asking this? By the way, the price is not the only reason I want to ask them, I also think it will be nice to have friends contributing rather than strangers.
  2.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    First off - Congratulations! In regards to your idea - Be very careful how you ask as some people may get offended if they get the wrong idea and think they are doing it free! What about asking them to do it as a wedding present? If some get cranky maybe provide anything they need ie the cake and see how that goes down.... If you ask sensitively, I would have thought it would be ok :) xx

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  3.  
    • Becky1608
      CommentAuthorBecky1608
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    I'd start with telling them that you would love them to be involved and ask for rough prices first. As Mrs Rodgers has said, offer to buy materials/ingredients and suggest that their help be the wedding present to you both.

    Are you inviting all the people you would like to ask to help you as if not then that could be a bit awkward.

    Good luck hun xxx

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    12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
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  4.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
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    Just be upfront and honest say you are on a tight budget and could they do anything at mates rates ?

  5.  
    • ChristinaB38
      CommentAuthorChristinaB38
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    we have a family friend (professional photographer) doing our photos, when we asked him to do our photos he was the one who said 'obviously i will do it at mates rates', so they may offer before you say anything. Quite a few people will be delighted to help, i also agree with the above ask if it can be your wedding present?




  6.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
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    I had the same idea, my cousins wife is a wedding photographer, my chief bridesmaid bakes amazing cakes so on and so forth.

    As soon as I mentioned the wedding they offered their services either free or at mates rates. I offered to pay them and they said think of it as your present.

    Im sure they will understand.

    x
  7.  
    • RaggedyAnne
      CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
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    where you say......you dont want to pay full price......why is that? would you go to work for half your expected wage?

    Just because you are inviting them to your wedding doesnt really justify the fact YOU cant afford their services.
    I was a wedding photographer, and I did 2-3 weddings for free as favours, but being ASKED that, well I would say no. I charged £6-700 for a wedding, to go to a friends wedding I would probably buy a toaster or something......so just because you have friends that do stuff, I wouldnt expect that they do it for nothing.

    Mates rates probably......they just charge a standard fee....

    when people offer thats a different thing, but to say.....i want you to do this for our wedding, but I cant afford to pay you what you usually charge......thats a bit insulting. It makes it sound like you ONLY invited them to get a good deal. (I am not saying thats what you are doing, but to the person being asked, it sounds a bit that way)

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  8.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    There are ways of asking ... Just as you would with anyone you employ to do a job for you ... I agree with Anne to some extent as in you can't just ask someone to do it for free when it's their business ... You can however ask what they can do within you budget

  9.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
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    Calm down RaggedyAnne......I cant see anywhere in the post where someone as said they are going to ask for it for free!!

    I think all that Giraffe was saying is that she wanted to know how to ask about the price and possibly if it was negotiable or could maybe get it a little cheaper!!!

    I'm no mug but if i can provide a service to anyone I know who's wedding I'm going to I would do it cheaper than my normal rates, but that's because im a kind person and I know how tight money can be for people.
  10.  
    • Giraffe
      CommentAuthorGiraffe
     
    Thanks for your advice, it's good to get some different viewpoints! I don't have a job where I could offer my services for free (healthcare) so can't compare but I know people who would happily do mates rates for friends. Free would be lovely but as I said they are not close friends and so I wouldn't expect to pay nothing. Also none of the people I am thinking of do it professionally, just as a side job. We are probably not going to ask for presents so I can't really refer to that!

    I think I will just have to be honest and say we are on a tight budget because I'm worried about getting stuck in the position where they have said yes and then I say actually we can't afford it! Will think of a way to say it so they can feel free to say sorry we can't afford to give you a discount too and then I can look elsewhere. It's a good idea to offer to pay for the ingredients etc as even if they did offer to do it for free that would mean they would be out of pocket.

    I probably wouldn't have invited them to the wedding otherwise or maybe just the evening do. Do you think that is ok or should I invite them to the whole thing? Maybe depending on how much they charge me!! I guess people like a photographer would be there anyway though.
  11.  
    • CommentAuthorRachaelC80
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    We had a person make the cake for free(I offered to pay for ingredients but she said no) who just got an evening invite.
    Photographer didn't charge us, obviously invited to the whole thing!!
    Florist who gave me my bouquet for free, the whole thing.

    It's up to you hon but I think an evening invite would suffice??!!


    :-)
  12.  
    • CommentAuthorHelainaH
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    I'd be very careful on how you would ask them for this discounted service.
    You've already said you're not close friends, and they fact you are unsure how to ask suggests you aren't even good friends. Plus, you've said you don't plan on inviting them to the wedding (unless I read that incorrectly).

    I would have thought that they would offered to provide these services at a discounted rate if they wanted to.

    But if they are things they tend to do as hobbies, rather than their jobs, you might have more chance. So going with something like;
    "I was wondering, if you would be interested in baking my wedding cake? As you bake at the weekends, and your cakes are always so good. Our budget is tight, but I will pay for the ingredients and equipment. "

    I hope that helps x
  13.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
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    What I would do is ask them how much they would charge for their services.

    A work mate of mine bakes amazing cakes, I just asked her how much she would charge for what I had in mind. (her prices are mazing however she doesn't deliver so its a no from us)

    It may be a bit different as she isn't actually a friend, but if you take that approach they may say its would be such and such price but for you I could do it for £££ or free.

    Really depends how close you are. My best friend has offered to do my make up but would mean she isnt at the full day so Ive said no id rather she was celebrating with me than doing my make up for free xx

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  14.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
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    I'd ask them how much they charge and that may sway them to offer you a cheaper deal if they know your interested in them. I would say be vvv careful because If anything goes wrong or your disappointed with anything you may feel unable to say anything because of friendships... Personally, I would never ask family/friends for that reason... If you genuinely can't afford it, wait until you can to get married x

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  15.  
    • Katya
      CommentAuthorKatya
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    If you were wanting to go down the route of inviting someone purely because they take good photos, i personally, wouldnt feel comfortable with that at all. My cousin takes good photos, but we never speak to eachother, i wouldnt invite him purely because of his photography skills, that just cruel!

    what i would do however, is either wait to get married, its one day, its not worth getting into debt over.... OR.... go down to your local college, ask to speak with the head of the photography department, explain that you would like them to show you some of the work of their students, inform them that you are getting married & would like to offer one or two of their students a portfolio opportunity, explain that you will require as a minimum all photos on CD & full copyright license to do with them as you will, however in return you will provide them with a meal, allow them to use your wedding for their portfolio & pay them £50 - £100 (whichever you decide) for doing the work. The head of photography department would probably tell you something along the line of "i will have to put it forward to my students first, i will contact you if any of them are interested" you would have to tell them where the wedding will be taking place so that the students can be made aware. & you would also need to write them a reference for future customers to view. ths is a brillient opportunity for a student, they will work exceptionally hard as its their portfolio on the line & everyone has to start somewhere.

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