Hi all, I'm hoping you can help as we're having a bit of a dilemma on how to word the gift list part of our invitation :(
Basically, we already have everything for our home (actually we have many duplicates having both had our own home before we met). The thing is, I don't like asking for money (or anything really). But if we don't put something in, then we'll put guests in the position of having to get in touch and ask what we want, and then we'll end up with lots of awkward converstions. After some discussion we've decided we'd like to give guests the option of a contribution towards our honeymoon or eg Debenhams vouchers.
We were thinking of a couple of sentences hidden at the bottom of our 'Additional Information' insert. Something short, honest and direct (neither of us want a poem, and there wouldn't be room for one anyway!).
So far we have:
We don't expect a gift, and have everything we need for our home. If you do wish to give us something, then a contribution towards our honeymoom would be welcomed, as would vouchers for Debenhams/John Lewis.
Please give me your honest opinions on this! Would you find it a bit offensive? How could we word it better? We're both just feeling so uncomfortable right now with writing this that I think we need some outside opinions!
CommentAuthorKatya
edited
We have a poem on one of our inserts:
We haven’t got a wedding list, The reasons we’ll explain…Its to save you all the hassle, As shopping is a pain. We’ve lived together quite a while, and all the bills are paid We’ve got our plates, our pots and pans, our plans have all been made So if you’d like to contribute, Towards our honeymoon We offer you our heart-felt “Thanks!” With Love
The Bride & Groom
EDIT: Just noticed you didnt want a poem, would the above be ok even though its a poem? It is only short but includes everything you wanted to say. I wouldnt personally be offended with what you have written as i fully understand about having 5 sets of cutlery (yes we had 5, 1 set i had and was using, 1 set he had ready to move out of parents with & the other 3 sets were house warming gifts!) times have changed and guests need to realise that its no longer the done thing to give actual physical gifts anymore, its much better to either get something off of an online gift list, or to give money/vouchers rather than being too rash and buying the first household product they see these days
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
I think it's normal to panic about this as we did, we have decided on a little ditty that OH found. We have wrote:
The best gift you could give to us both would be to share our special day with us.
We understand that people would like to give us a gift to commemorate our special day, however, having lived together for the past five years have we everything we need.
Therefore we have decided against a traditional wedding gift.
Because at first we lived in sin, We've got the sheets and a rubbish bin, A gift from you would be swell, But we'd prefer a donation to our Wishing Well!!
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
LMW - We didnt bother with a poem etc as it's not us.
Instead in our insert sheet we just said "As we have lived together for some time, we do not require anything for our home and do not espect any gifts. If, however, you would like to give us a gift, we would appreciate f1rst choice vouchers, 1kea vouchers or cash" We got over £1,000 in cash, no f1rst cho1ce or 1kea vouchers, 2 n3xt vouchers, an @rgos voucher, 3 photo frames and 3 bottles of champers.
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
We feel really uncomfortable doing this as well so we're just not doing it.. We have told our parents that if anyone asks to tell them we would just like money or ph0t0b0x vouchers please as we have everything seeing as we live together.. We really need money for our honeymoon and I'm making our album so the vouchers would mean I can make it sooner rather than later too xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
Have a look on G0o-gle, they have some really good wee poems. I know you said you didn't want one but if it's short and sweet it could maybe work :).. What about something along these lines.. The only gift we really need Is for you to share our special day But if you'd like to give us one Then something toward our honey would be great? x
CommentAuthormizzkt
That sounds fine.
Me and h2b have asked for money to pay for our honeymoon.
It is normal now to ask for money....every wedding ive been too has asked for money for honeymoon.
Otherwise if you dont mention gifts or money people will just keep ringing you and asking what you want.
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
As MizzKT said, they will pester you for what you want, or you'll end up with hundreds of photo frames!
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthorEm01
I think its normal to ask for money nowadays instead of gifts as most people live together for years before they get married. I have been to lots of weddings where the couple have asked for money towards honeymoon or home improvements and have never thought that they were rude. Plus it saved me traipsing round various shops to find something off the gift list and then all the worry of someone else getting it for them as well. We'll def be asking for money with the help of a little quirky poem and if people thinks that's rude, well then they don't need to give us anything but I hope they will bear in mind we have just brought them a 4 course dinner with drinks and then an evening meal lol.
CommentAuthorJuly 2014 bride
becky 129.jpg
this is what we having if it helps.
After being together for 15 years i fiinally going to marry
the love of my life and my best friend.
CommentAuthorsarah
I'm not comfortable asking for anything in an invite. Word of mouth works really well. Let members of the bridal party, parents and family know what you want and they'll spread the word for you.
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
edited
Our poem is this .....
To celebrate our wedding you may wish to buy us presents However this is not required, all we want is your presence If you insist, we must admit, we have a J!h! Le&!s Wedding List To help us improve our home at a later date Or even replace a broken plate! Included in our list is an option for K-u-o-n-i Vouchers To put towards our Honeymoon encounter But most importantly, we request You share our day as our Wedding Guest.
When we have been to weddings we have always bought vouchers rather than money so thought it cheeky/rude for us to then ask for the same so we have been able to combine our wedding list with a Honeymoon company so people then have the option of what they would like to do ... if anything.
Again, I know you did not want a poem but perhaps you could take a couple of lines and change it?
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I think if u don't want a poem then the direct approach is perfect...we're doing similar to what you have written,I don't think it's awkward to ask for money now as most ppl have a home before they get married,it's modern and normal! I'm not a fan of poems either x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
Thanks for all the replies :)
Of the last three weddings I went to, one asked for Honeymoon contributions but the other two had a gift list for household items, so its good to hear that a lot of people are actually asking for Honeymoon money now.
Its not that I don't like the poems, its just not really us, and I want the mention of gifts to take up as little space as possible!
MrsWright, I like what you wrote, I'll show that to lovely one later this evening. Sounds like you got a good response from your guests as well :)
I know we're going to have to put something in (word of mouth won't work with us - lots of groups who don't know our families, or other groups), but it just feels wrong to ask for something that we don't actually need. If we couldn't afford the Honeymoon without contributions, then we wouldn't have booked it.
CommentAuthorSuzyb
I don't like poems either, we had this on ours:
Having you attend our wedding is gift enough, however should you wish to give us a gift, contributions towards our honeymoon would be much appreciated.
May the dreams of your past be the reality of your future!
CommentAuthorMrsWade2B
We are also asking for honeymoon contributions...we did include a poem but I think what you have written is nice and nobody would be offended at that :) xxx
CommentAuthorCoconut
We basically said that we have everything we need but a home of our own. Therefore we would like everyone to contribute to our adopt a brick fund. They will be welcome to visit their brick whenever they want.
CommentAuthorAmyK
That's pretty cool Coconut! :-)
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I was worried about asking our family & friends for money as we already own our own flat and have everything we need.
We put a money poem in our invites and our family have all been fine with it :)
CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
Well we finally bit the bullet and printed them, this is what we went with:
If you would like to buy us a gift, we already have everything we need for our home but a contribution towards our honeymoon would be welcome. However, please feel no obligation.
Coconut, that is fabulous!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
That's fine hun. Tbh, lots of people give cash even if you have a traditional gift list, we have a list at a department store but on the day were also given over £1k in cash!
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorLynD
we don't need anything for the house either - so anyone who's asked we've said JL vouchers. I doubt if anyone's been offended (I wouldn't be)
CommentAuthorRachaelC84
We asked for vouchers or money. x
CommentAuthorHannah22
we moved into our flat together in march and weve got everything we need so we popped a poem into our invites that asked for euro's basically for our honeymoon.
CommentAuthorRennie1989
I searched for a poem on google (as I writer I felt like I was cheating!) and there are tons to choose! A lot of couples today have everything they need for the home and ask for money, don't feel cheeky or rude asking for it :) When I worked in the Q of B I served a couple who had a ton of gift cards because they wanted to buy a new bathroom for their home.
CommentAuthorlizzylou
Sounds totally fine to me. It's similar to what we put:
If you are thinking of giving us a gift, either a few pennies to help us enjoy our honeymoon or to put in the pot for a new home hhopefully next year would be greatly appreciated. However Please don’t feel obliged your presence as opposed to presents on the day is appreciated most of all!
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorBeverleyW66
Coconut, i absolutley love that.
Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today
Crazy in love with the man of my dreams
CommentAuthorCoconut
Thanks guys :) we didn't want a poem so tis worked for us. :) x
CommentAuthorangel830609
edited
coconut that was fab! we're putting a poem in ours and I know of a few people who have done the same, we have everything for the house so money or vouchers for honeymoon/holiday would be better for us, I don't usually like to ask for money but I know most of my family (and some of h2b's) will keep asking what we want if I don't lol, what you have put is great I wouldn't be offended by that, i'd be quite pleased I havn't got to run around trying to find something xx
it's been a long hard road, but hopefully we're getting
somewhere :) xx
CommentAuthorOWB
I don't like poems, so I put the following on our website:
As you all know, we have been living together for a while and we have everything we need to get by. What we would really like is a honeymoon to remember. Saving for the wedding and doing house repairs have meant that we've not had a proper holiday for a while, so we would really appreciate it if you could contribute to helping us ensure that the honeymoon holds as many memories as the wedding.
Of course, we are not saying that you have to buy us anything, this is just in case you would like to. It really is much more important to us that we have the pleasure of your company for our special day!