Only recently got engaged and my H2B has told me how he wants his sister to be Maid of honour or have a big part as a bridesmaid. I am on a tight budget so was only planning on having my bestest friend in the world and my sister. But when I told him this he went off on one saying how she has to have a part. He then decided he wants his daughter (who to be honest can t really see happening anyway ex issues) to be a bridesmaid aswell. At this rate I will have no guests as everyone will be bridesmaids! Is there anyway that I can explain to him that I only want my best friend and sister without upsetting him. Also when I say tight budget I mean not really having oneas we are both useless at saving so therefore I am being very picky and wanting to try and buy somethings every month is that the best way to try and plan or is there any ideas on how I can save money!
Sorry to rant but that comment really annoyed me!
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
um hard one i think. as its both of your day, im not sure you can argue it. i understand where your coming from completely but it may be a sore subject. ask his sis to pay for her dress, shoes etc. see what she says x
CommentAuthorpennieb-MrsRiley
Maybe you could ask SIL to do a reading for you? That way she's a part of the wedding itself without all the added expense. I've asked my ex-step mum to do a reading just so that she can be included without putting anyone elses nose out of joint lol
Now, finally, Mrs Riley
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
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CommentAuthor*Kat B*
tell him you want you grans, sister's aunt's best friends son to be his best man
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CommentAuthorpennieb-MrsRiley
Nice one Kate!
Now, finally, Mrs Riley
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I have the greatest husband!
thought i would help with a little laughter couldn't really think of anything extremely constructive but if that was said to my h2b he'd suddenly understand that its the bride's choice of who's by her side and his choice for best man
Live for today
This cat is not in pain.....it's meowing noooo not UKB again
Met 08 Jul 2003, Engaged 20 May 2010
Married 19 April 2012
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
I'd tell him that she can be bridesmaid if you pick his best man and you think the guy at the till at tesco would look great in a suit.. She can do a reading to be involved if he wants it that bad! Grr men lol xx
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorUnknown
choosing bm is very difficult!! but you arent getting married for 3 years so me personally wouldnt ask anyone yet as it is a while away. wait another year as relationships can change very quickly with people.
i have 2 bm and they were both very close to me when i asked them. one of them still is but the other one although we are still good friends we dont see each other or talk as much and i now have an extremely goof friend who i wasnt with about a year ago. she is one of my best friends now. we talk/text every single day and we see each other 1/2 evenings in week as well as weekend. if i was choosing bm now she would be top of list!!
my h2b has 2 girls and he suggested to me that they were bm aswell and i told him straight no way!! he even asked them if they wanted to be bm (only found out few weeks ago) luckily they said no. god knows what i would have done if they said yes!!
things change so quick so i really would suggest holding back asking anyone for a little while xx
CommentAuthorrach1986
the reading thing is a really good idea think I might have to try that one!
CommentAuthorrach1986
I have put three years because of money! Not definate that it is three years!
CommentAuthorKaya
We've got hiss sister and my eldest brother as witnesses, so that thye're involved in some way x
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
id have a chat and say you choose your attendants and he chooses his! I have done this although on an impulse i asked his cousin to be a bm and havent really seen her except for at xmas and although she really nice and everything i dont know if i want her but i know i cant back out now!! So i would wait like mrsbarker2b has said because you find relationships change. with my moh we havent really spoken except for the odd text now nd then since october!! but i dont know if this is cos she weird about the whole thing as she was sposed to get married end of oct last year or just her!! (altho she now hass a boyfriend so prob just her) dont know what to do about this!!
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
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Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorAmy_Bee
Why don't you ask all of the bridesmaids to contribute towards their outfits? Then cost isn't such a big issue, so you can both have who you want. I can see both sides of the arguement here, but it is a day for both of you and if he's close to his sister it's understandable that he wants her to play a part.
The soon to be "Mrs Bee"
4th August 2012 :)
CommentAuthortoni400
how come you can have your siser and he cant! a marriage is a partnership and that takes two. i think there could easily be a compromise and im sure touve got more guests than 4!!
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
hummmm he doesn't really have a right to tell you who to have as a BM although I would not put it that way to him. ask him how he would feel if you told him who he could have as his best man. if he wants his sister to be your BM she cannot be your MOH as that role is for a trusted friend only. TBH I would say that she cannot be MOH but if she wants to pay for her outfit she can be a BM and you will give her that role. I would take the same tack with his daughter.
Dyslexic
its spelt wrong
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CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
Whilst he doesn't have the right to TELL you who to have as your attendants he does have the right to suggest. It is his wedding day too and I think it is quite reasonable that he should ask if his (soon to be yours as well) sister and daughter are included it's not like they are strangers. As Toni says it is a partnership that you will be entering in to.
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I'm with agreement with the girls that it is his day too and it would be nice for him to see his family a part of it too. If you don't want them due to budget you could always talk to him about it and say to him that you would like them to be a part of your day too but the budget isn't going to stretch that far so if he wants them to be a part of the bridal party then could his mum or the sister help out with their own outfits etc. At least then that is giving him a choice and compromise. If you don't get on with her then you don't have to have her there while you get ready as she could always get ready with her family and then meet you outside ready to walk down the aisle. Also the maintenance issues are for him to sort out with his ex. At least if it doesn't happen it will be the ex that looks bad and not you.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
what about asking Bms to put money towards thier dressesr paying in full for them esp if they are keeping them that way it isnt coming out of your budget
i told my h2b about this topic and his answer was so silly, tell him that his ex won't allow children there and that the guy you met whilst walking the dog looked pretty fit can he be your best man
but on a serious note he said if he wants his sister to be a bm then ideally she should contribute towards the dress or at least something xx
Live for today
This cat is not in pain.....it's meowing noooo not UKB again
Met 08 Jul 2003, Engaged 20 May 2010
Married 19 April 2012
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
well this si wat i thought happened the bride picks the Bms and the groom picks the groomsman
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthor*Kat B*
it is becky :)
Live for today
This cat is not in pain.....it's meowing noooo not UKB again
Met 08 Jul 2003, Engaged 20 May 2010
Married 19 April 2012
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
tell him to balls then
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorpanther_87k
could she not be an usher? theres no reason nowadays not to have a female ushers, this way you can have the BM's you want and he can still involve his sister
Nice one Kate!
