Monday: 18 days before the wedding (yes 18 days!!!):
Back in february my uncle peter said he was due to buy a new car (a posh one) and offered for him to take me, bm to church and them me and matt to the venue. Ive been happy with this all along as its my godfather and its really special that hes taking me. As mum and dad have split up....and i wanted to get ready with mum the plan was: 12.00 leave mums in worksop (in nans car) 12.30 Arrive at grandmas (where dad lives) 12.45 Leave Grandmas in uncle peters car to go to church 13.00 Wedding Ceremony
This has been set since FEB. Nan rung me up yesterday to let me know shed booked a Limo (as a wedding present) to go from grandmas, to church and then to venue (rendering unc peter useless) I explained AGAIN (shes know all along) to her that uncle peter has spent money making car seats and orgainisig flowers, ribbon and other bits (apparantly over £100 so dad says). Anyway she said it tough and i now have a limo so got to use that!! Its not what i want though!! Uncle peter is doing his car as a wedding present.
Very annoyed cos shes left it this late to book it, what sane person would think ive not organised transport 18...B loody dys before the wedding!!! Especially since i told her cos she was taking me to grandmas. Im grateful for the gesture though. Dont know whether mums talking to me either. She either put the phone down when i rang her yesterday or it cut off. The last i heard was.....'im fcuk'd off with this' and then the phone went. Stepdad did say mums having problems with her phone. Im at risk of loosing people off the guest list.....whether its my unc peter and aunty jane, nan, grandad and mum....or just nan and grandad. If mum doesnt go i take it ive lost the page boys too.
Tuesday: Well i got a phone call from nic (MOH) to tell me that nan and grandad arnt coing to the weeding and dont want anything to do with me ever again. Im just thankful that my MOH has the decency to let me know. Bit drastic if you ask me. She had told mum i shouted at her over the phone, when i didt.....i just explained that it was a nice gesture but couldnt accept it cos uncle peter is doing transport, which to be honest is what i really want. He my godfather and was really touched whhen he asked me if he could take me back in february.
Im really hurt at te way things have panned out, all along nan has said its your day so do what you want to do. Me and mum are talking but i didnt mention the wedding at all, cos i dont wanna goe into an argument to be honest. Nic said nans booked it two weeks ago and mums known all along. She either didnt say anything or nan wouldnt listen (like she did with me)
Sooooo hurt right now.
CommentAuthormrsmada
aww hunni i dont really know wot to say. i htink i can see the fact that ur nan may have thought she was doin summit nice for you but like you said, she knew ur uncle was driving you ther. it mite just be a good idea to let things settle for a couple of days. i know you only hav 2 weeks (we get married on same day) but it mite just be enuff for ppl to calm down and re-assess things. good luck luvvi i hope it all gets sorted xxx
CommentAuthorLindsey Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Thankyou. I think it really is over between me and my grandparents though. They have ditched many of the family beofre (their own kids) for years at a time. As long as i dont loose my mum, stepdad and pageboys over this i should be ok.
CommentAuthorjellytot
why are families so awkward. i think thats very nasty and selfish of you nan to book a limo when she knew you had already sorted it. sounds like she was just expecting you to ditch your godfather taking you in favour of her, which isnt right at all. has your nan contributed in any other way? if not maybe shes abit peed off that shes hasnt been involved? i dont see why your mum would fall out with you either, you havent done anything wrong.x
CommentAuthormrsmada
well look at it another way hun. its less ppl to feed at the wedding :0). if they can cause such a fuss like they hav maybe its better if they dont go, at least u can relax with the family who matter. weddings are stressful for evry one. i really hope you sort things wif ur mam and stepdad xxx
No shes not really done anything else, but shes known all along shes really importnat to me. Matt and i dont expect anythig from anyone. me mum and stepdad are talking but mum doesnt want to be in the middle o we havent discusse the situation at all. Which is fine.
Luckily i hadnt got round to doing the table plan and the lady who is doing the calligraphy on the place names ran out of them so i need to order some more....so luckily i can change things quite easily. We had an idea for back-ups all along incase anyone backed out.
CommentAuthorKerrylou
*HUGE HUGS*
I think nan was trying to be nice in that strange way that nan's try to be nice - that could account for her getting the huff and giving your mum grief over it. It is a pain in the rump though, especially if she's known all along that your Unc was doing your car for you.
I'd speak to your mum and explain the situation to her, or if she won't talk to you then get your stepdad to talk to her and have another go at trying to explain things to nan. Would it be worth, just to keep the peace, using the limo to transport BMs or mum & stepdad or another member of your immediate family - I know it's not what you had in mind BUT it might just calm the situation down and nan might not feel so put out of joint.
Families - who'd have 'em!! xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorLindsey Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Matt and i have discussed that kerrylou and we have said using the lio for the others woud be perfect!! it would save so much hassle but nan said it was for us so i really dont know. Even if she would have said to me....look, ive got you a limo for the attendants such as pageboys and bridesmaids (as pageboys are my mums boys they wont be going with my uncle peter you see) i would have loved it, would have been a faberooni wedding present.
CommentAuthorkitkat
Couldnt you use the limo for your bridesmaids and page boys or maybe mums and dads. Why not drop her a card and say thank-you and you are sorry to have upset her it was not your intention and you would love to use the limo for your bridal party as you have already made arrangements for yourselves. Then you have done all you can and the rest is up to her. I wouldnt cross them off your list just incase they do turn up when it comes to the day especially if they themselves havent told you they are not coming - that would make for a scene on the big day that you could do without. Now take a deep breath and enjoy x
CommentAuthorKerrylou
Could you and Matt not go and see her and try to explain to her face that yes, it's a lovely gesture and you really appreciate it, what she's done is so lovely and thoughtful blah blah (butter her up basically lol) then explain that Unc Peter offered this as your wedding present a while ago, you don't want to upset or offend anyone so would she mind if you stuck to your original plan with Unc Peter and used the limo for the attendants. I think if you can speak to her face to face and remain in a space of calm rationality then you've got a better chance of smoothing things over xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorLindsey Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
I suppose we could. I think matts gonna ring her tonight and we might be able to arrange going over at some point (though we hadnt planned going over now untill the wedding) I just wish she would have spoken to me about it first, it wouldnt have come to this. Looks like its the only way.
Nan is so stubborn and initialy told me it was tough....i had to go with her plans. Shes usually boss of the family and everyone follows suit. Grandad generally follows aswell but nic said grandad is furious also. I suppose though ill get a better idea when matts spoke to them.
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
wow!! this is a really hard situation and i really feel for you!!
as i am quite a nippy and bitter person, i would tell them not to bother coming for demanding i use their limo and threatening not to come. but i have quite a temper when it comes to things like that!! lol
i think using the limo for bridal party is a great idea, IF your nan allows it. it she doesn't, then that's pretty mean. she's already paid for it (or deposit at least). if she doesn't go to your wedding, she's the only one that will be losing out. you will still have a fantasic day with the people who WANT to be there on your special day
i agree with a post above about re doing the seating plans. prob best not to ommit them. they could turn up and cause trouble if there are no seats for them
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorKerrylou
I hope you get it sorted out Lindsey my love - I hear what you're saying about nan being head of the family, my gran (God rest) was exactly the same, no-one dared breathe unless she gave it the ok, except grandad who was a little rebel in his time lol
I think it's so sad that all this has happened over a car, some people really do beggar belief at times. I'm sure she was only trying to be thoughtful but she really should have spoken to you 2 first, especially as it was her telling you to do it your way the whole time. I bet as long as you butter her up and tell her how lovely the thought was then she'll bend a bit, and if not, well, it's really not your problem
Let us know how Matt gets on with her xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorRoxii
I know hunni... You and your dad go in uncle peter's car, and the BMs can use the limo :P sorted! xx
CommentAuthorLindsey Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well i was on the phone to the MIL whe she asked who owned a silver people carrier.....nan and grandad!!....anyway they have pushed a letter through MIL door (the rsvp place) saying:
'It is with deep regret that we shall not be attending the wedding of Wendy Ann Gleadhall (EEERRRRRRRMMMMM thats my mums first married name!!!!) and Mathew (SPELLING!!!! - TWO T'S!!!) Evans
Yours Faithfully Lindsey's Nan and Grandad'
They didnt send an aceptance but happy to travel 14 miles out of their way to post a ch uffing letter!
I think the mistake is history repeatig itself as they didnt have the decency to attend their own daughters (my mums) first wedding.
They have RSVP'D a wedding that doesnt exist!!!
CommentAuthorRoxii
Aww hun, I really feel for you. but I think that if she can be like this over a stupid friggin car, then she's not worth having at the wedding anyway.. I know that she's your nan and he's your grandad.. but they are behaving like children! Spoilt ones at that.. I know you're going to think it's easy for me to say this, but it's not.. One of my grandma's isn't coming to my wedding.. I can't bring myself to speak to her again, and she just cut me out of her life twice before, so i'm not setting myself up for that heartbreak again! Anyway.. I think you need to stand firm, and leave them be! Cause they're just acting soo childish! xx
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
for goodness sake!!!!!!
that is just evil!!!
try and shake it off hon!! stick to your plans with your uncle's car and have a great wedding!! it's NOT about them and it's horrible that they'd try and ruin your day!!
my family is kinda like that (fall out and not speak for years over something stupid) i'm not even inviting my brother. i'd be too worried about trouble he could cause at the wedding, and i get angry every time i think about him. he would ruin my day.
don't let them ruin your day. screw them!!!!!
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorLindsey Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Thats it then! I want to ring and ask for an acceptance for a wedding that does exist but the sarcasm may cause tension with me and my mum.
MIL said turn the experiene into a positive....im grateful they have done this now and not the day before! So for that i thank them.
Sorry about the rant before, I literally got off phone to MIL and just lost it! Thankyou for all your support and suggestions. I dont know what id do without you XxXxX
CommentAuthorRoxii
That's what we're here for chick, it'll be alright on the night ;) xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
could you use the limo for your bm`s to arrive in style ?
