Hi I had bought my wedding shoes ages ago and basically the whole theme of the wedding has stemmed from them. I am having short bridesmaid dresses and so their shoes will be very much on show but as the 3 of them vary in age from 12 to 34 I knew I wouldnt be able to have matching shoes so I asked them all to go for plain black that wy at least they would be similar. Anyway to cut a long story a little shorter my 19 year old niece has sent me a picture of the shoes she has bought and they are almos t identical to mine, pink with black lace over the top, bridesmaid dresses are pink with a wide black lace trim around the waist. she is so made up that she found some that match her dress so well she ignored the plain black rule (she thought I would be happy at the match) I havent got the heart to say anything to her as she has already bought them so not sure what to do now at all. The plan was for my shoes to match the bridesmaid dresses and them to be plainer. Do I just wear my shoes anyway or look for something different????? dont know what to do..........
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
I would tell her that they need to be plain black and that you have bought similiar ones
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CommentAuthorStave
Big hairy balls :-(
Personally, it is a must for certain things to match and shoes is one of them. Either way you will have to tell the other maids, if you agree to them, as they might think that she got special treatment.
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I think I'd tactfully say that you appreciate she thought she was helping, but that you did ask for plain black as yours are very similar to hers, and ask that she changes them for plain black ones.
If you're anxious about upsetting her, maybe you could soften the blow by suggesting that she change into them for the evening? That way they won't be in the pictures, and the guests won't really notice them, but she gets to wear them for a few hours; could be a compromise.
I would def say something though; I'm pretty laid-back but I think in this situation it will kind of defeat the object if she wears shoes similar to yours.
CommentAuthorJLR
Its just really hard I dont want to offend her at all, she is really very sweet, but she will be the only maid wearing those shoes and I think it will look really odd!!! oh I wish she had just listenend and done as I asked what a blinking pickle
Asking her to wear shoes to match the bridesmaids, not the bride, isn't a huge thing to ask. I would suggest being upfront with her and saying you specifically asked everyone to have plain black shoes. One bridesmaid with patterned shoes will look odd, especially if they match the bride (and she isn't MoH). If her money is tight, she can always return the shoes- most shops will take them back within 28 days with or without a receipt.
CommentAuthorKinkyemo
Id deffo ask her to change them! Say it was lovely that she thought about them enough to find some to match the dresses but as they are the similar to yours you dont want her to ware them! You set the rule of plain black shoes to make all the BM's to match!
CommentAuthorYourFirstDanceBride
I would ask her to change them. I asked my bridesmaids to get ivory shoes and my sister the MOH got some champagne /mushroom coloured ones and then wondered why I asked her to change them because they were so much darker than everyone elses, including mine and I didn't want her standing out!
Plain black is not a hard ask so just explain nicely that you appreciate the effort she has gone to but she simply won't match the others and thats what you want.
CommentAuthor*Kat B*
your going to have to tell her, and make sure you point out that you did say plain black several times, and then remind your other maids xx
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Met 08 Jul 2003, Engaged 20 May 2010
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CommentAuthormcquire81
edited
Im sure she will change them if you ask her, they are only a pair of shoes though, does it really matter? Your wedding isnt defined by a pair of shoes, it will be about you and your H2B.... dont stress over the little things, its not worth it xx
CommentAuthorUnknown
if she has just brought them she will be able to get her money back. i would say to her that you would like all the bm to wear as matching shoes as poss as the dresses are short and you want them all the same. i would also tell her your shoes are very similar so although you do like hers you dont want her in them! i am sure she will understand xx
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
i would jus say it nicely that they are very similar to yours and that although they sound lovely, you really need her to wear black to match the others x
I have decided, i am buying all 6 of my bm shoes as i really don't want this problem, there are always threads about this, oh dear more money to spend lol, but saves the hassle x
CommentAuthorMrs b to be
Im sure if you asked her she wouldnt mind, Just explain to her about it that you dont want the same.x
