Ok, so originally I was a really laid back bride, told my bridesmaid she could choose her dress colour as she was wearing it, secretly I wanted blue/green and fantastically she suggested turquoise or teal! She lives in Malaysia so is getting her dress made, so over here I've been organising stationery design by my brother, bought the artificial flower arrangement for the table plan with teal green branches, got the teal green ribbon all ready to hang the tags etc - even planning on getting ivory dresses for the flower girls so the BM can send extra material over for me to make into sashes, the groomsmen are in navy suits to tie in with the teal neckties etc.
H2B had the great idea of honouring my Chinese heritage by putting the Chinese wedding symbol on the front cover of the invitation, which my brother has done in a fabulous blue/green colour which we both love. Decided to send it to my mum for final approval and as a bit of a show off, and she's come back saying that green is a terrible colour Chinese symbol wise (it means mourning apparently!) and the symbol should be in red or yellow which are the lucky colours associated with health and good fortune - even though we're Chinese we've been born and brought up in the UK, and we don't follow any Chinese traditions except eating out a lot on family occasions! My brother re-worked the invite so the background was still blue/green and the symbol in red, but tbh it looks far too garish. I sent it to my mum for a second opinion and she agrees, but now says the symbol should be red, the background a pale yellow and in fact all blue/green on the entire invite should be removed and replaced with yellow! We even have a lovely monogram designed with our names in pink and baby blue, she says this should be an orangey gold to go with the yellow - I explained about the dresses being the teal colour, and she said I was lucky as if she was traditional Chinese then she wouldn't allow my bridesmaids to wear that colour when attending me, they should be in pinky reds! But she was ok if we just changed the stationery only - she's going to go round to my brother's tomorrow and stand over him while he changes the colours so in her eyes, they're just right! Give me strength!!
The problem is we were going to use the same front cover on our table menus, which would have all tied in lovely - but now if the invites are going to be in red/yellow this means the menus will too - thankfully we don't have flowers on the tables, we're having multicoloured sweet trees so it should still be fine, but I'm so annoyed the stationery might be changing colour!! I wanted to give the guests a hint of the major colour with the invites but Mum doesnt think this matters, and in her exact words, 'not everything at your wedding needs to match, dear'!!!!
I've asked my brother to try and save the teal and do another version with the symbol in yellow, but I think my mum is going to make us lose it altogether - have attached a pic of our lovely front cover that we may not be able to use :-(
invite.JPG
Teal Day Inside
Red invite.JPG
CommentAuthorKate4
Oh that's such a shame as it's a beautiful colour. Obviously, as it's very close to my colour turquoise/tiffany blue (this is getting spooky no?!), I love it.
What about white? White or silver against the bluey greens would look nice? Would the background be ok if the symbol wasn't the same colour. Is white (or silver) a bad colour though? Sorry if i'm not much help! x
CommentAuthorMrs Q - Weegie
what about a red outline around the green symbols? would tie in with the read heart at the bottom....
25 days Until i marry my price charming!!
Cant belive its sooo sooon!!!!!
'this is our time, and our lives and nothings ever going to
break us' :D:D:D
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
i can see what ur mum is saying because colours r so important over there and mean a lot so i agree that the symbol should be in red with a yellow background but as u have lived here all ur life and u want teal dresses etc i would stick to the teal for the dresses. i think u should have the colours that u want for ur day but in order to please ur mum and put some of ur heritage in there somewhere i think u should use the colours for that that suit. ur invites and menus dont have to match ur dresses and suits just have them as they r, the chinese influence, and have everything else as it is x
maybe research some colours and find ways of incorporating them if u really want to tie everything in x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
ooo yes smarties, what about the symbol in ivory? or silver, that would look lovely, maybe find out what them colours mean x
She's saying we need to drop the bluey green altogether from the invites as this is a bad colour superstition wise, if you're old school Chinese - which we're not! H2B is white and Welsh anyway! Apparently the entire symbol must be in red or yellow, with no green around it at all - which I think is weird because if you google chinese wedding outfits, the majority are in red/yellow, but there are some in green and yellow! I give up!
And yes, this is definitely getting spooky Clare we have far too many similarities in choices and questions - I'd double check your family tree to check there's no Oriental genes in there otherwise you can't have your colour either - although technically yours is blue, not green - I'm so non-Chinese I don't even know what blue means symbolically!
CommentAuthorKate4
Hahaha! At least you can laugh about this unforeseen change! No, i'm not going to check, i'm just going to keep my head down and hope nobody comes forward!
Perhaps your brother will find a way of designing it so you love it equally. he'll probably be able to mock something up that meets the 'specifications' but is just as fab a design. You could embrace the multi-coloured theme?! x
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
just looked up blue and it means immortality so not a bad colour but thats actual blue. apparently green especially packaging/clothing wise is not a good colour, if a man is wearing a green hat then his wife is supposedly cheating on him! prob not a good idea to include teal in the invites, not with the symbol anyway. red is hugely associated with chinese weddings so it would be hard not to choose some red if u want that influence, but i think nice colours that will go with ur invites and dresses would be silver and gold. u can use the gold to go with the red items and silver to go with the dresses etc, then tie the silver and gold together somehow?? white is used at chinese funerals so ivory is not a good idea! good luck with it all x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
I don't know enough about it but I think if you honour your heritage you should honour it "properly" and respect the "colour code". Could you add red and gold decoration so it all ties in as one big colour scheme?
Btw I now know why all chinese symbols you see are always red or maybe gold. :-)
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorAntonia9
i really like the red invite, however there is also a saying that red and green must not be seen but upon a fool..... i think a yellow background but be nice, like a goldeny yellow perhaps??
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
I've just looked this up and apparently blue green is better than green alone, as it means harmony and growth - wiki even states that "Blue-green is still a symbol of spring when everything is filled with vigour and vitality. Therefore, someone that is hoping for longevity and harmony will decorate with blue-green colours" - surely that's a good sign for a new marriage!
Have just sent the proper links to both Mum and brother, fingers crossed I get to keep my blue green! And yes, maybe we can have the symbol in a different colour, pink is love so that's a possibility! Will let you know what the verdict is...
FutureMrsPite - I have a feeling we'll end up with the invites in more traditional colours, but I'm still going to keep the dresses etc in the same colour now I know it's not such a bad colour - I just got excited thinking our invites were finalised and loved the colour so was a bit upset they might be changing - or not, if I get my way :-)
CommentAuthorKate4
Now's the time to exercise the Bridezilla prerogative if ever there was one....?! x
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
yeah i can understand that! when ur happy with something u really dont want to change it, i wouldnt change ur dresses etc as its a western wedding after all so u do what u like/want and everyone will have to deal with that as its what makes u and h2b happy thats important, hopefully u can sort something out, sure it will all look lovely, and look forward to seeing ur invite designs and anything else u wanna show us! love seeing ppls ideas x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
New problem - I sent the explanation across about longevity and harmony, and Mum has checked it out with a Chinese church pastor we know - he has confirmed that whilst this is true, if blue/green and white are shown at a ceremonial occasion, it signifies death!! Stupid customs! Apparently if we sent out invites like this then most older Chinese (i.e. my grandparents) wouldn't come to the wedding as it's a bad omen! I mentioned that the only people to know about this would be 3 in 160, and did it really matter, but she went on about family respect for the older generation etc - so she says the colour scheme has to change to red, pink, orange or yellow - and I asked about the BM dress and by her response I'm guessing I need to change that too so have messaged the BM to organise a Skype chat tomorrow as she lives in Malaysia!!
She's going to finalise the colour scheme with my brother today, which I think is rich seeing as it's our wedding after all! I asked H2B about his thoughts on burnt orange but he's said tbh right now, he doesn't care about the colour scheme anymore! I'm veering towards more of a burnt orange as the suits are navy herringbone tailcoats, or a hot pink, but I think this would suit my brothers more than his dad, who's his best man and is going to be 71 by the time of the wedding! argh my head hurts...
CommentAuthorKate4
edited
Burnt orange would be lovely with navy. As would hot pink. Hopefully BM is ok with that and can change dress? Any update? x
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
Navy and pink tones - especially hot pink - are a BEAUTIFUL combination!
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
edited
Ok, the results are in - invites totally re-worked so now I have a very camp looking invite indeed!! Had a chat with mum about the BM dress, and she actually said she didn't care about the BM's dress but I should remember that it's MY wedding(!!) and I was a fool to centre my special day around what 'some woman' wanted to wear - I give up! Tried to tell her that it was a mutual decision on the teal colour but she's convinced the BM is influencing me! So, to make things easier, think I'm going to ask the BM if she can work with the pink and I'll get the ushers to have the same pink neck tie, and his 71 year old dad/best man in either a silver or gold necktie so he doesn't look like such a plonker!
Oh, and I've also attached the inside of the invite, which she's truly camped up - I can't believe the photo on the right hand side with the softened edges, reminds me of those dodgy photo shopped wedding photos you see from Russia!! arghhh....
mums version
Mum inside cover
CommentAuthorKate4
Haha love those pics - in fact I saw a photographer at a recent fayre whose portfolio was a load of photos like them!
Aside from that, which i'm sure your brother would change, the colours look really good! As long as you don't hate it and can change everything else to match, looks like you've pleased your mum! X
CommentAuthormrs m
It looks lovely! really pretty.
xxx
Happily in love and can't wait to be married! xx
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Haha she's happy alright, apparently after she'd worked her 'magic' she told my brother that they were perfect and there were to be no more edits (even though the bride and groom hadn't seen them yet!) - I don't hate the new colour scheme, it's just very different to our original ideas, and also, it reminds me of a show I saw at the Lowry a few years ago, here's the programme cover....
programme
think I might get some gold glitter spray on them to camp them up even more!! Oh well, if it saves any more earth shattering changes later on...looks like I'm having a camp wedding party!!
CommentAuthorJilly17
Personally I love the original invitation and the teal and can fully understand your concerns with the new version! I can also understand your desire for honouring your heritage however if it does not fit well with your plans you have already made I would not do it in such an obvious way. Could you not keep your fab teal colour and have something else on the invitation which does not connect the colour green with your heritage? and then honour your heritage elsewhere in the wedding such as favours perhaps? You are talking about making things easier but as this involves alot of changes and I know you dont 'hate; the new colurs but do you love them???
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
She's made it quite clear that she doesn't think teal should be seen anywhere at the wedding, thinking about it her own bridesmaids were in a dusky pink and I think the teal is too modern for her. Personally I think the new stuff is too camp and looks very Hong Kong chinese cheese, but at the end of the day it's only a colour. The main thing is we'll be getting married, and if this shuts her up just a little bit (I'm sure she'll be involved in more 'planning' closer to the time) then we'll go with it. I was originally going to have our save the dates, invites and menu all mounted into a frame to remember but I'm not sure if I want to do it with these new colours - I've just sent her a curt email confirming we will send these pink versions out (she said there were to be no more edits to HER final version!) but as a result I would be changing the BM dress, FG dresses, groomsmen necktie colours, flower choices etc so she can see the ripple effect she has set in motion...!
CommentAuthorJilly17
wow! you are a much better daughter than I would have been if it was me! ha ha
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Eek I'm really sorry but the new invites are really not for me - I loved your original ones! Could you not have jade? It's kind of like teal and has good chinese meanings?
"The Chinese love jade because of not only its beauty, but also more importantly its culture, meaning and humanity, as Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC) said there are 11 De (virtue) in jade. The following is the translation (don't know the translator):
'The wise have likened jade to virtue. For them, its polish and brilliancy represent the whole of purity; its perfect compactness and extreme hardness represent the sureness of intelligence; its angles, which do not cut, although they seem sharp, represent justice; the pure and prolonged sound, which it gives forth when one strikes it, represents music. Its color represents loyalty; its interior flaws, always showing themselves through the transparency, call to mind sincerity; its iridescent brightness represents heaven; its admirable substance, born of mountain and of water, represents the earth. Used alone without ornamentation it represents chastity. The price that the entire world attaches to it represents the truth. To support these comparisons, the Book of Verse says: "When I think of a wise man, his merits appear to be like jade."'
Thus jade is really special in Chinese culture, also as the Chinese saying goes "Gold has a value; jade is invaluable."
Because jade stands for beauty, grace and purity, it has been used in many Chinese idioms or phrases to denote beautiful things or people, such as Yu Jie Bing Qing (pure and noble), Ting Ting Yu Li (fair, slim and graceful) and Yu Nv (beautiful girl). The Chinese character Yu is often used in Chinese names. "
The key thing I got from that article was that "Its color represents loyalty" - great for marriage no? Xx
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
She has a thing where she's dead set against any green at all in the wedding, I've tried the 'green = harmony and longevity' explanation with her and she's not having it. We need to have the invites printed ASAP as we want them out for Christmas and the printers are getting busy with the season, plus I don't want to inconvenience my brother with all the re-working - so it looks like she's getting her way!
H2B has suggested we still print our own copies of the teal for the frame, but it wouldn't be the same as what went out to the guests, so I don't think we'll bother now - the idea was to have a classy reminder of the day and date etc, but I think the colours are too cheesy to do that now!
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Aw shame it seems to be her way or the highway. Are you gonaa change all of the colours for the day? I'd be temped to say you were then when everyone shows up "ta dah! it's teal!" mwhahaha... Xx
CommentAuthorFutureMrsWilson
Aw im sorry that youve had to do all this just for your mum.. i know what its like my mum is trying to get so involved with traditions and things and its driving me and H2B mad!! hopefully we can sort something out just as you have:) xx
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
i have to agree im not too keen on the new ones and i know ur doing it 2 make ur mum happy which is lovely of u but u do deserve ur own input as it is ur wedding after all! i would have maybe changed the yellow to gold, that might not be as camp and maybe class it up a bit, but as ur in a rush im guessing theres no time for changes, as long as ur happy that what counts x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorKate4
One thing to remember is the guests won't have seen the original colours so won't be comparing. They'll like them as they are!
Even though it's not your choice, the invites are just one part of the day. There's loads of other things you can put your stamp on. X
CommentAuthorKate4
One thing to remember is the guests won't have seen the original colours so won't be comparing. They'll like them as they are!
Even though it's not your choice, the invites are just one part of the day. There's loads of other things you can put your stamp on. X
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Yeah thanks ladies I know, just was a bit gutted that we'd made our plans and now it'c changing etc - and I just know that in the run up to it all Mum will gladly take all the credit too! Oh well - it's only affecting the clothing co-ordination really, the centrepieces are liquorice allsorts sweet trees so they are staying the same, and they have a lot of pink and yellow in them anyway so it'll all tie together ok - just couldn't believe the last few days, she's known since July we were thinking of teal and decided to put her oar in the week the invites were going to print! My brother is actually planning to propose to his gf next year and has already decided everything is going to be low key and there will be no Chinese symbolism at all, and no colour involvement from parents! Trust me to get all the hassle, I'm the first child to get married too so I bet when both my brothers get hitched Mum will leave them be as she'll have seen her ideas in practice at mine!
Oh I did love the teal but hey ho, it's just in the past now...
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Ooh and she's making the cake too, the deal was that we would get it for free, as long as it was HER project - I asked for something simple, elegant, and not too bog standard, thinkimg maybe sugar flowers or some kind of cherry blossom effect for the Oriental spin - she's planning a 6 cake extravaganza, with 2 square cakes on the bottom, one to represent each of us up to school age so school badges, childhood hobbies etc and a mini sugar figurine of us in school uniform, then on top of that on a board, 2 circular cakes showing us at uni with uni hobbies, badges etc, and figures in graduation gowns, joined by a sugar crafted Golden Gate Bridge as that's where he proposed, with a river underneath with boats on it, then on top of that two tiered heart shaped cakes, the lower one with Chinese wedding and love symbols on it, and figures of the two of us in Chinese wedding outfits on top, then the very top cake to be all Western wedding with doves holding rings, and the two of us in the white bridal gown and tailcoat etc - oh, and in between the two base cakes she's seen a mini light up water fountain too!!
OMG. Like I said earlier, I suspect she's just living out some bizarre fantasy through our wedding - she says the cake will be amazing and unique, and Ace of Cakes can eat her shorts - if she manages to pull this off then pictures will be up for you to see - meanwhile, I'm psyching myself up for a very camp wedding with a cake to rival the Gypsy weddings off the telly!!
CommentAuthorKate4
Wow. Another similarity, my Dad is making our cake! I think it will be pretty basic though, certainly not as exciting as yours! Sounds epic! Enter it into a comp, you may win a prize and then it might be worth it!
I can't wait to see it! Ace of Cakes - you're right. Sounds very adventurous. Blame your h2b when making a comment about it. I often say 'well you know i'd love that, but he really wants xxxxx, and it's his day too so you know, i'm happy to compromise and let him get his way every now and then...' That worked a fair bit when I didn't have the heart to disagree with my MIL/mother when it came to decorating our house, just blamed him! x
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
Hahaha, sorry pointless post but I cant see anything to do with "ladyboys" without thinkin of Alan Partridge! Bangkok Chick Boys! Love Partridge.
xxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
I think you are beig a really good sport about all this and your mum sounds like quite a character :-)
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
She definitely is - about 10 years ago lots of people commented she was very similar to the chef Nancy Lam off the telly! As I say, easier to just let her carry on as unfortunately any protests will go unheard - she responded to my curt email yesterday saying that I had to now change a lot of things as pink was replacing teal, with an approval of the pink invites and how excited she was about moving into a smaller house once all the kids were married and had no chance of moving back in - no mention at all about apologising for me changing all the plans already in place!
I've already thought and if Four Weddings do a 2012 season then I might well enter us into it - this is definitely going to be a one off wedding!
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
Good luck!
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorJilly17
Yes good luck! Hwe cake design will most definately be a one off and if it works will be an extravaganza! I think you are lovely to let her have so much say...I couldnt! ha ha
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Had it confirmed the final designs went to the printer on Monday so will be getting them off my brother next time I see him which is next weekend - will post pics of them in their technicolour glory when I have them!
CommentAuthorKate4
Woo, can't wait to see! I hope you like them.
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Wooo I have them, and they actually look really good printed - will take a pic later on and upload but I do like them - have pretty much decided to forget the bluey/green now and accept the hot pink and yellow!
Ooh and she went to see the cake supplies shop on Friday and showed him her sketch, even he thought it was a lot for her to do so he's offered to bake the cakes for her so she can just ice and decorate them to save her another job! Omg!
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
bridalmiss look forward to seeing pics of ur invites and what luck with ur cake! i love how things turn out lovely in the end x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
edited
Ok, I've finally got around to taking pictures of the prints! When we wrote out the invites we covered them in gold glitter spray too!
Invite.JPG
Invite back.JPG
Invites.JPG
Menu.JPG
Menu back.JPG
Chinese Invite.JPG
Chinese Invite back.JPG
Table Numbers.JPG
Looks like the BM is wearing raspberry then :-)
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
They are very happy! Certainly make you smile!
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorKate4
Ah I love them! The colour's lovely and cheery! Not as bad as you feared I hope!
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
To be fair they looked a lot better printed than on the PC - of which I was most relieved!!
CommentAuthornatalie2614
They look lovely, Id be thrilled with stationary like that. I think the colours work really well together x x
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
they do look better printed and i love the little cartoons of u both! very professional looking aswell! x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorJillybean
They look really good! Personally I prefered the teal on turquoise but the ones you have done are really nice too! xXx
Got together 18th December 2008
Engaged 19th November 2011
Getting married 20th June 2014
Venue is Manchester Utd Football Ground!!!
