Im having one of those days where i just want to rant!!
Im literally asking myself why did i ever bother with a hen night over here! I wish id just stuck to my original plan couple of us going abroad for a long weekend!... but oh no ive got to try and please everyone so i cancelled and sorted one for over here!
So firstly (i have posted about this bit before) i originally let everyone know my idea and how much it would cost (£40) & asked everyone if they were definitely coming before i put deposits down.... Yes they'd all be there! I said i wouldnt need the money until 1st march at latest so they all had 6 months to put some aside... Funny that as soon as it came to paying up ive had nothing but excuses as to why they cant come (most are "too" skint) so ended up with 15 of the original 34 dropping out (most were obviously lying as they must of forgotten that i have them on book of face and theyve got plently of money to go out every weekend / shopping sprees/ go to other peoples bday weekends away). So this has hit a nerve.
This meant i was left with a hefty load to pay out of my own pocket so Ive had to cut back on everything so that i dont have to fork out to much.
I tried to fill some places but havent had much luck or people said yes then changed their mind soo i just gave up and decided to concentrate on those coming and having a fab night.
Thing thats starting to bug me now is that NO-ONE has helped or offered to help me at all!! I have posted on my book of face hen night group asking if anyone would like to help take charge on the night - run the games / chase people up for the coach home just so i can sit back and relax and not stress myself out trying to sort it..... NO1's replied despite it telling me theyve seen the message. So it looks like it'll be me doing everything on the night!
Ive also posted on their asking for what drinks everyone would like or songs on the party coach - trying to get everyone involved - suprise suprise no1 bothered to reply (but again they message had been seen by everyone)
Then to add to my bad mood the woman sorting out our club package got all funny asking me to actually tell her whats going on as shes struggling to finalize things.... Seriously i havent even changed my original booking! ive asked her a couple of questions about possibly changing rooms and letting them know numbers thats it. So anyway that just annoyed me more.
So thats it really i just wanted to vent and get it all out! I seriously have the WORST "Friends" ever :( x
CommentAuthorMrsGothBride
Sorry to hear you are so stressed about it, it seems hen nights are a bit of a grey area in terms of who takes charge, organising, responsibility etc. I've been to a few over the years and some the bride to be has done it all and on others the bride did nothing but turn up and it was all sorted by the MOH. I've known some brides to actually expect a free night out and other brides who insist on footing the whole bill.
When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours
we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying
weirdness and call it love, true love.
5th September 2013
CommentAuthorMrsMoran
Awww bless you hun, not much can say to help really, but how annoying that no one is willing to help you out and take the stress off you! Am sure if they were in your position though, they'd be wanting someone to help them out xxx
CommentAuthornadia13
I organised my own coz I knew every1 where my bridesmaid don't know most people I invited however my bridesmaid/ best friend is throwing herself in2 it wiv organising the cocktails & that for when the girls come here first, which I'm very pleased about :0) ur's sound a damn shame Becca can't understand y ur friends r being like that, I think ur hen night sounds real good & cheap. Hope u feel better getting it off ur chest :0)
CommentAuthorStaceyP91
Oh lovely :( I'm so sorry to hear your having trouble still with this hen night :(
I really don't know what to say :( they should be excited and willing to help with things, and not making you stress out. What about your bridesmaids? Will they not help or take over.
Xxx
30-11-13 my life becomes complete
Mrs Solomon to be
I can't ill loose over a £100 in deposits or I would have cancelled xx
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
That's terrible, your friends should be ashamed of themselves. Somebody should have arranged something by way of games etc because that should not be for you to do. You've got enough to worry about. However, as I type this, I can't help but wonder if maybe they are being so disgustingly useless because they have got something planned for you. I can't think of any reason why so many people would purposely make this so difficult for you. I hope they do start to pull their fingers out. I can only hope that nothing else goes wrong for you and that the evening has been worth the trouble otherwise I would be seriously considering who my real friends were once the wedding is over.
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Thank you just frustrating I changed all my plans for these people too!!!
If I wouldn't loose money I'd cancel and just go away with a couple if mates!! :-(
CommentAuthorJennyHeather
Oh dear becki that's not very good of people to drop out because they can't afford it, they should have said something before.
Mine was a pain because no one wanted to do anything fun but non alcoholic related they all had clubbing in mind and I don't do clubbing.
Someone should be sorting your hen for you or at least helping you organise it.
CommentAuthorJadeH41
this is the reason why i dont have any friends, no 1 can hurt me anymore. i feel so sorry for u love. my engagement party was similar, all my 'friends' said they def coming up till day b4 then the party comes not 1 came!!! i deleted them all n blocked them on fb n now just keep myself to myself. i really do hope they come to there senses n turn up n respond to ur fb page. just think whoever goes on ur hen nite r ur true friends n u will have a great time. keep us posted to what happens love xxx
CommentAuthorJennyHeather
Jade I'm the same I don't have friends as such only H2Bs friends lol. I've always been stabbed in the back with friends so I can't be doing with them.
Yea fingers crossed you get responses from people.
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Will you be spending more than £100 on the night ? If you will be then I'd just forfeit the £100 and cancel it.. No one deserves the arranged night out by sounds of it !! Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
I'm the same Jade and Jenny.. Me and H2B are having a joint hen vs stags paint balling or go karting with all of our cousins.. I have never had a friend that hasn't let me down in a massive way at least once.. Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorJadeH41
its nice to know im not the only 1. i agree with georgi, if u wud only b losing bout 100 then cancel it. or u cud just say ur canceling it, it might just give them the kick up the bum they need? then if they r friends they will go, omg lets start organisings things she means business xxx
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Jade has a point ! Just the threat may work ! And if they don't fuss about you cancelling it then it really isn't worth going and spending even more money than you already have ! Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorAntonia9
You certainly know who you real friends are when it comes to wedding planning I've found that out the hard way and have sacked a bridesmaid and ended that friendship, that all started at the hen do planning!
You shouldn't be organising your own hen do especially forking out for everyone, I'd cancel it and treat yourself to something!
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I wouldn't be spending more than £40-50 on the night because the £40 were all paying pretty much covers half the drink for the night.
I do want to cancel it just because of the stress I don't even know if I'm looking forward to it now everyone says on the night you'll have so much fun but I beg to differ now xx
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Whether you go on the night or not, you'll be losing the £100 in some respect.. I'd rather lose it and keep the £40-£50 to be honest.. Especially if you're sure you wont have a good night.. xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorJenniferY90
It seems to be a common theme that the organisation of hen party's is one of the more stressful elements. Mine has been cancelled and rescheduled so many times, I refused to pay anything until everyone had given me all the money up front and then I booked it, people still dropped out and asked for their money back but I refused and said I wasn't being left out of pocket becuase they changed their mind. I asked my best friend to organise it and she didn't bother doing anything then moaned when I organised it that she didn't want to do what I haf planned, then there was issues with the tops that were ordered, then some wanted to go somewhere different. In the end I decided its my hen party and I will do what I want to do. One friend stepped up without me even having to ask and got the tops sorted and "surprises" for me and now I am looking forward to it. So my advice would be to do what you want to do, there is no point in spending money on a night out to just be miserable about it, I would cancel, take the hit with the £100 and arrange something that you want to do.
CommentAuthorSazzell23
I think that you should cancel honey if this is really stressing you out and getting you down its really not worth it. If the hen doesn't go well then it will make you even more upset just before the wedding and you'll resent these girls and hate the fact you are paying for them to be at your wedding! Yeah you'll lose money but you need to think of yourself! I would post on the group 'ok everyone has seen my last two messages but not replied for some reason. I've had a lot of problems and stress with organising the hen and I've decided that I now must put my focus into the most important day which is my wedding day. Therefore if anyone would like to take over I'd be very grateful otherwise i've decided to cancel the hen'.
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Sazzell !
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorSazzell23
Thanks georgi :) speaking from experience as my hen didn't turn out well despite me arranging and putting in so much effort. I was trying to have an amazing hen with people who actually didn't care. It completely changed my friendships as I realised just how one sided things were with me always bending over backwards to please others. Just such a shame I had to cope with it at what is meant to be a really special time for a bride to be xxx
CommentAuthorGillianE
that is such a shame that your friends are like this, i too would seriously consider cutting my losses and cancelling the night. it really isn't worth all the hassle.
I'm fairly lucky in that my sister in law has told me i am having a hen night and she said she is organising everything for me. all i need to do is tell her who i want to come on the night and provide her with their contact details and she will do the rest.
but in the back of mind i know that problems like yours will crop up, and it really shows you who your friends really are. and even family in some cases.
xx
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I can't cancel as it seems such a waste plus h2b would go nuts if he knew just wasted £100 when we still owe loads for wedding and struggling to save it. And I would end up with no hen night!
Today I just think sod it if people disappear on the night or aren't on the coach at 1.30am it's tough sh*t I'm going without them!!!
It really has shown me who my true mates are!'
CommentAuthorclive
It's this reason, and this reason alone as to why I'm not even thinking about a stag do. Everyone is up for it to start with, but As soon as money is mentioned, everyone does a Lord Lucan!
Take the few that you know are reliable, an you won't lose out.
CommentAuthorVelcro
On the night becki, im sure you will have a good night, regardless of who shows up/dissapears, the people that matter will stick around. sod the rest.
its a shame when you cant trust people enough to pay deposits after saying they are coming. At the very least id be tellign the let downs they still owe me deposits even if they are not coming!!!
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Im feeling much more positive today about it all.
My h2b's best man who is organizing hi2bs stag do has basically said to his mates if you drop out your not getting any money back for flights or what theyve already paid and now theyve all suddenly changed their mind and have paid the remainder.
Ive sent all mine a message just saying that basically im not being responsible for anyone if theyre not there on time for coach were going without them, if their too drunk and get refused onto coach home its not my problem, if they throw up theyre responsible for paying the £50 fine and im not chasing anyone up on the night im just gona sit back and enjoy it lol harsh but then they cant say i didnt warn them!!
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
I don't think it's harsh, I think you're well within your rights ! Xx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorGillianE
it isn't harsh at all, it is your hen night and for you to enjoy as much as everyone else. I would say exactly the same thing to all my guests on my hen night.
On way home the coach is stopping in 4 places and said its down to people to get home from there I've had people ask if it could stop closer to we're they live!! No! I said its only stopping in these places and if it stops for 1 person everyone else will expect it and it costs more! I wouldn't mind but these people live 10 mins away from the drop off points! People are just rude x
well said, keep strong. they really should respect your wishes.
xx
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Im not taking any more sh*t and wont be backing down now theyve caused me enough problems and grief!
People are just so cheeky! If they had just gone for a night out and had to get return transport there, had a vip area, paid for entry & que jump, drinks theyd be looking at a good £60+!! its only costing them £40 and its basically covered the whole night!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Good on ya hun!
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthornadia13
That's wot I don't get wiv ur friends, all that 4 £40 is a rite bargain!!!! I would do it 4 sure, x
CommentAuthorVelcro
just a taxi alone can cost that sometimes, never mind all the extras thrown in there. good for you for telling 'em what for :)
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthornadia13
My hen night went well :0) had 3 no shows out of 23 so not bad, one got a child wiv chicken pox, one was ill, but wouldn't surprise me if she just didn't wanna come as she is quite young ( 20 yrs) and b the youngest there & wouldnt b her think so don't blame her at all & was surprised in the 1st place that she said she would come!! Only met her once but is my step niece daughter so thought she is family and invited all the females in my & h2b families!! The 3rd was my mil2b, it wasn't her thing but she could of said something b4 hand but at least I didn't have 2 mind my p's & q's lol and we didn't have to pay 4 the no shows & it seemed cheaper so result lol some photos on my wall if any1 were have a look x
Sazzell !
