Just wondering if it's just me that wants to rip my own hair out on a daily basis...
Up until a couple of months ago, my h2b and I were going to get married in 2012 because he hadn't found a steady job. Then, when he got one, we decided to move it to 2011 because we were in a financial position to move out and we wanted to get married as soon as possible.
Unfortunately, the snow put a hold on our plans so we haven't been able to make it up to Bedford to house hunt (we live in Essex). Additionally I have had dance exams on the weekend. However, we've both made efforts to look online and contact estate agents. His mother lives near Bedford and she's been keeping an eye out for us as well. We finally have an appointment for a mortgage broker and a few viewings next Saturday.
Seems like we're on track? According to my parents and older sister, no. I know its a lengthy process buying a first home but they're getting increasingly more negative and trying to find as many excuses as possible to get the wedding postponed to 2012 again. Including the number one hit "there's too much to do and we won't get it done in time". And I have to keep reminding them that I have been planning the wedding for over a year- the photographer, priest/priestess and registrar are already waiting for me to give the green light. My h2b's nan is doing the flowers and we're buying the cake from Marks and Spencers. All that's left to deal with is catering (venue is being held on the perfect date) and invitations. Everything else we already have sorted from my other sister's wedding a little over a year ago- all we need to do is call them.
If that's not frustrating enough, they're still acting as though they're working on it. So I'm getting mixed signals and no one will give me a straight answer. It's very much a "We'll do this but we don't think there's any chance in Hell that you'll ever get a house or get the wedding stuff sorted so you might as well give up. But don't give up, we're looking" *facepalm*
I understand the need to consider all options, I do. But would it kill them to be slightly optimistic?
I do thank the Goddess for my in-laws. They're so ridiculously supportive and eager to help out whenever they can.
Okay, rant over. Anyone else having these issues? How are you dealing with them?
Additonal rant: They often tell me I'm rushing things because I'm young (I'm nearly 23), even though my h2b and I have been together and committed for over 5 years. Whereas my sister got engaged to a guy she was dating for 2 months and she even suspected he was cheating on her before the wedding less than a year later. That wasn't rushing things.
Just to clarify- I have two sisters. The one who's being negative is unmarried and living at home. My other sister has not contributed to the discussions at all.
CommentAuthorekielty(now Trow)
Families are very peculiar! my family were a bit negative, i dont think they took it seriously until I actually booked the date. They will come round eventually. Its good that you have the In Laws support, that should be a big weight off your shoulder. xxx
Very very happy as Mrs Erica Trow
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! xx
CommentAuthorZoe81
Poor you, all you want is everyone's support and you should be able to do it!
They are right about buyer a house though, but it depends on how bigger deposit you have to make getting a mortgage easier and then finding the right house! If verything goes smoothly it can take 8 weeks from putting your offer in to moving in. However if you get stuck in a long chain and you have to wait for other people to move it can take longer.
On the wedding tho, it sounds like you're almost there already, as long as you can find a caterer. My only q would be can you afford to do both this year? Buying a house and getting married are probably the 2 most expensive thigns you can do!
Z x
CommentAuthorYourFirstDanceBride
We did have some negative reaction from H2B's parents when we told them we were house hunting last year. I was 23 at the time and we had been together 6 years then so it sounds like you're at the same stage I was then. And I don't think we've rushed anything. SO you have my full support on that one.
Buying a house can be hard but you are in the best position as first time buyers and so really you control the chain if you have one. Because if you were to say you were going to pull out, the whole chain would fall apart. We were quite lucky in that we didn't have a much of a chain as the family we bought from were moving into a house where the guy was going into rented so we didn't have to wait for loads of people to find new houses.
And if you have most of the big things ready then go for it. It will be a hard few months but its definately do-able.
I agree with Xoe make sure it is something you can do in the same year, because you may decide it would be more special to get a house 1 year then married the next, that way you get 2 special years. But if you think you can both financially then go for it!
The one thing I would suggest is try not to get moving date and wedding date too close together, as that will be really stressful and take away from the wedding a bit. A bride I know recently ended up doing both in the same week and she was so stressed poor girl.
I wish you the best of luck. As far as family go, if you want to convince them sit down and show them your finances and say that you are doing it and you would appreciate a slightly more positive attitude. Tell them thank you for giving you things to think about ie as in what could go wrong if for whatever reason you couldn't afford it or whatever, but show them that you have a contingency plan and that you are happy. They may come round to your way of thinking then. xxx
CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
Financially, we are able to do both. Since my parents are adamant about having a big wedding (e.g. inviting everyone and their neighbours and their dogs because we went to their house for tea three years ago), they're paying for it. The only thing I'm paying for myself is my wedding dress. My fiance and I have a fair amount of money saved up for a down payment, so we can take care of the house.
