Wedding Forum - Anyone had the inlaws NOT turn up?...

Hiya guys,

To cut a long story short my OH has had a bit of a run in with his Mum and Dad. Its not over the wedding, but over the fact that they favour their other set of Grandchildren to our kids, in a BIG way.. His Mum wrote him a stinking letter basically saying, you live your life and enjoy your wedding.. Anyway, OH claims that it hasn't bothered him (he has gone long periods of time not talking to them before) but it really got to me. As a mum, i don't know how anyone could be so cruel..

From what she wrote in the letter i am presuming they're not coming.. Not that we care lol. But my main question is, is anyone else having problems like this? My main concern is that the rest of Marks extended family won't turn up either.. His aunts and uncles haven't spoke to his parents in years (i wonder why?) and he thinks that they will all still come. My worst fear however, is that we've hired this massive hall and we're going to look like total loners with no family or friends!

I think this has turned into more of a rant, than a question, but i feel better now lol.

Carly x

My husband's sorry excuse of a 'mother' fell out with both of us a few months before the wedding (for the last time). She's the type of person who likes a drink or three - and gets very obnoxious and violent when she has a drink. We actually didn't want her at the wedding - but she decided to invite herself (on the premise that she'd pay for our evening reception but only if she could pick the venue - yeah right lol). Luckily we got married 130 miles away in Gretna and told her that all the hotels were booked with it being in August. She didn't take it well - and in fact got on the phone and told me she'd like me to crash the car and die so her son could find someone better!!! Thing is, she's not even close to Gav and hasn't give a sh** about him for years.

When we first planned the wedding it looked like it would be all my side of the family there, as there was only Gav's brother (best man), his cousin and his gf (my bm) invited - and the rest was my family (12). But just under a year before the wedding, by chance he 'found' his dad again, after not having contact with him for nearly 20 years (his parents divorced and his mother stopped his dad seeing the kids).

In the end it did turn out well - as we had 17 guests, and not only did his dad come to the wedding, but his stepmum as well (my 'proper' mil) and his gran and her best friend as well (v close family friend) - so it did turn out good in the end.

My h2b family are not coming to our wedding, his mum has passed away and he has fallen out with his dad and brothers. But he does'nt seem bothered there not coming infact he says he does'nt want them there cos they will try and spoil things for him. We are just concerning ourselves with the fact that we will be there and were not that concerned about anyone else as long as we turn up.

Hi carly
your in laws sound a lot like my sisters in laws they always favoured is brother and his children over my sisters family to the extent that a few years ago they told my sister and BIL that when they died they would leave their bungalow to his brother as he needed it more my sister and bil said they should leave it to the grandchildren of both sons instead but they wont hear any of it. my sisters parents in law didn't go to there wedding wow must be about 17/18 years ago now. They had a bit if disagreement about them inviting other members of his family that his mum and dad didn't get on with (her sister and brother) and said if they were not uninvited they wouldn't come. my sister and bil got on really well with is aunt and said you don't have to talk to her if you don't want but she is invited. they didn't come and relations were frost for years after. they now get on better with his parents they seem to have mellowed a bit with age lol and i know they regret missing his wedding and the younger years of the grandchildren lives.

try not to worry about his extended family they will all still come I'm sure of it i now they all did at my sisters wedding x

At my wedding Kieran had all of his family to the evening do and a we only had 20 people to the day. My brother and my son were there and that was it for my family. We had 180 people to the evening. If anyone asked where my family were they didn't ask loud enough for me to hear them.

Don't worry about it. If they do come you will probably feel on edge all day as to what might they say or do?
I don't think my mum will turn up and if she does it will be in full mourning gear as she doesn't like my h2b. Infact she won't let him in her house and barely even speaks to him when she has to.

parents can be a funny thing, my best friends mum turned up to her wedding last yr but kicked off royally because her ex husbands ex partner was there and she didnt realise she had been invited to the whole day even tho best friend had asked her mum previously, anyway she didnt go to the breakfast she chose to sit at home on a social networking site slagging my best friend off they then didn't talk for a while but if they are genuinely happy they will turn up if not its their loss not urs, yes it would be nice to have them on ur pictures but as long as u 2 are happy any guests are a bonus xx