I only ask this as my MOH and best friend who i could only imagine being the only one to do my Hen do..... couple weeks ago decided to not return my calls and texts.....only to find out shes now pregnant and MARRIED!!! So yeah im pretty peeved that i was left in the dark by my own best friend! But im over that now..... Nxt issue....
I spoke a woman down from £150 to £35 for yet another BM dress for my MOH as she was loading on extra weight and the dress i had for her wasnt fitting. I was meant to pay the lady for the dress today agreeing with my MOH that if she paid for her dress that i would pay for her deposit for the hen do (£20) I thought this was fine.....tho my MOH dropped it to me that she was unable to pay for the dress as she was broke, so i had to let the woman selling the dress down, who had a few choice words for me for being a time waster, laying guilt trips to me bout how her son is going without food for a whole £35!!! argh!
So i text my MOH, after feeling as if she was letting me down big time, saying that i was getting majorly stressed with my hen do preps and i feel as if its her job to sort it NOT mine!!! I was told shes tired and going to sleep and thats the last i herad off her for the night. So after going to bed in tears after angerily cancelling my hen do on fb events. I just thought f it.
I text her to tell her it was now cancelled as i couldnt be doing with the stress....still i was ignored,
So... todays comes around and my poor little sister whose giving me away, has sorted spreadsheets out (lol) party bags and my mums sorted my hen do outfit in a matter of hours. And agree that im not being pushy that things will get booked up soon as, and need to be sorted asap.
Feeling a litle end of my tether.... i txt my MOH explaining how im feeling like she doesnt give a damn and i understand she might have things going on in her life too but things needed to be sorted. That id allocated my mum and sister to sort hen do. And that i didnt want our friendship to eff up coz of all this... i got a reply sayin she thought she'd explained to me that she had stuff going on. but do want i want. I replied that its not something i wanted to do more than it needed to be done, that we hardly ever speak nowadays so i dont know whats happening with her. im not a soddin mind reader!!
I feel as if she just doesnt care..... and im making myself ill with stress!!! To b honest i can see her not being a part of my wedding an us falling out and i just dont want that!


Sorry for the LONG winded rants i just feel so alone. :(

Im thinking about it tbh. i hate this!!

Have to agree hun - I think its time for you to step back.

You have your own things to do and stress about and you are still being a decent enough friend by saying that for everyone's sake it maybe best if she attends the wedding as a guest as opposed to a member of the wedding party.

If she is a good friend she will accept what you are saying and if she goes off on one then maybe just point out that you have come to your decision because you didnt want to put stress on her and what with her recent actions you felt that maybe it was all too much.

As Kempy said imagine things all went a bit pear shaped with her a few days before - id rather deal with it now

xxx

dont need to thank us. Just hope you sort it out before getting stressed anymore xx

put it to the back of you mind, and go get a nice cup of tea. Then sit down with your h2b and see what he thinks. You dont want the stress especially if its making you feel ill xx

Hi, sounds like you're pretty stressed! Although i haven't been in the situation you're in-I am organising my own hen, I have been pregnant and I have also found out that a friend got married and didn't tell me ... but she managed to invite every other member of that group of friends (I found out as there were photos of them all on facebook!) so I understand how you feel about that. People can be surprising sometimes. I also know that being pregnant while having very little money can be very stressful-I had to miss out on a friend's hen because I simply couldn't afford it and it was all drinking-orientated.
I don't see why she couldn't have simply explained that she should wait to get a dress as soon as she found out she was expecting? I put on over 4 stone while I was expecting and I've only lost it all a year on so if you're getting married in 10 months and she's still being your bridesmaid I'd advise you to hold off getting her dress til the very last minute-even a month or two before the wedding if possible. Both of you have lovely things happening in your life and it'd be a shame to let the stress on both sides ruin your friendship. I'm close to cancelling my hen too as it is very strssful to coordinate large groups of people and all the money stuff that goes with it. I would have found that difficult being pregnant but then if you didn't know she was expecting then that's down to her. She might also be worried about buying gifts for wedding or other costs but if that's the main problem couldn't she just help with things that require time and not money? Hope you sort things out xx

i really dont understand why it all has to come to sitauations like this. I have never asked my MOH for any money part from the fact she got pregnant after i had already bought BM dress. Which i thought was fair enough. Im trying my hardest not to let our friendship end of over this. I guess i will just let things take its course and then make a decision.

Yeah i bought BM dresses back in May, three for £20 from bay of e, bargain i thought, but not now im looking to fork out more money on another dress. We cant go out and just chill as we live 250 miles away from eachother. I moved three years ago to make a fresh start and move in with my OH.

kim.... am gunna tell u thi straight from wat ave read about her... she is tellin u she has better things in her life to do and doesnt want to do it anymore! so appoint a new MOh ure sister maybe? and get ure hen do sorted wiv her! forget this so called friend and enjoy your run up to ure weddin hun x

Kylee - weve been friends for years. Weve done everything special together, birthdays my engagement. Our friendship has always been one where we could not talk for months and then talk like it was yday. Ive never had a problem before. A simple random txt just to let me know shes ok was fine before. but then she got with whoever she is with now, thats when she became distant. This all started around march time when I travelled three hours to see her and my family and she told me she was too busy. I wouldnt even know who to choose for a MOH, my sisters (2 of them) were BMs as well as my OH sister, but since the family dont talk to my OH sister anymore it was only going to be my 2 sisters and MOH, but then with problems with who was giving me away, i asked my little sister too. So now i only have MOH and one other BM my little little sister. And with 3 groomsmen its not even (which i cant stand lol) Ive also got 2 FG's.
Its not even the case that she was given the role to b MOH without me consulting her.... its was a mutual thing where shes jokingly said to me when i was engaged ' im ur MOH!'

I think her response kind of answers your question. tell her she's no longer MOH. I think you've given her plenty of chances and she doesn't deserve the honour of being your MOH. big hugs. xx

just read ure commnet.... text her back sayin fine i have ure replacement alreayd thanks i mite be too busy to post your invite

She sounds selfish as, I'd sack her and go without or get a replacement!

After reading through - you say your sister is giving you away, could you not get your mum to do this and ask your sister to be yoour MOH?

I'm with Lala. Cut her off! She's only going to cause you more hurt. :0( The girls are right, it doesn't take 2 minutes to send you a bloomin text to say that she is getting married and pregnant. Maybe she'll regret treating you like this when she needs someone to talk to in future.

Nisha, I'm just letting the fellas get on with the speeches then I'll get up and say the thank yous. Might ask my sister is she'd like to say something but I'm not that fussed. :0)

Shes not much of a friend if shes willing to take up your offer of being a maid of honour yet wont even tell you about her wedding and the baby (!) . TBH hun she clearly isnt interested in your big day, get rid of her and let your sis, or someone deserving, be your MOH. Atleast then you know she wont just be there for the free food xx

aww Kimberlee i don't envy u and ur situation in the slightest but reading about it i say u'd be better leaving it as it is and get things organised with people who really do want to be part of ur special day, as soon as u do that then the stress will be a weight off ur shoulders, i can understand everyone has other things going on in their lives and us brides just wanna be organised but there is no need for ignorance and rudeness especially if it's a friend who u have asked to play a major part in one of the biggest days of ur life!! I feel u have tried ur hardest to understand and have gave many chances to get back to u and sort things out but think it's time u moved on hun and look forward to having fun with ur organising xxx