If you remember a while back I was whinging because my cousins gf was going to use my wedding as a platform to introduce her baby to my family. Well, she had the baby recently and I popped into my nanas house this afternoon to check some paperwork with my nan. Two of my aunts were there, and the conversation went like this. I'm so sorry but I really need to vent :(

AUNT1: not long til the big day now! I bet you can't wait!
AUNT2: did you know x has had a little girl?
ME: yes
AUNT1:AND?? Don't you want to see her??
ME: not really...
AUNT1: well she will be at your wedding you'll be able to see her then. I can't wait to see her in her dress!
AUNT 2: Tsukijin?
AUNT1: NO. The BABY!
AUNT2: oh YES won't she look WONDErFUL I can't WAIT to meet her!

Enter my nan
Oh have you heard the baby has been born?
ME(bored by now) yes
NAN you don't sound very interested? She will be part of the wedding too you know!
ME: No she won't, she is the baby of a guest.
NAN: that's not very nice, everyone is dying to meet her what a great opportunity for everyone!

At this point I was irritated and left. It's quite obvious people only care about seeing the bloody baby
So I told my cousin that sadly due to me not wanting the ceremony to be disturbed, I'd rather they left the baby with his mil or whatever. My cousin was fine as it was only his gf that actually wanted to bring the baby anyway, but I just received a really awful message from my aunt thanking me for ruining their opportunity to meet the baby. What on earth?? Go and meet it in your own time fgs!!

and yeah, tell your aunt to go meet it in her own time! way out of order!

xx

lol...i would be sooo miffed hun! u done the right thing, its their problem - not yours...like you said, if they r that desperate to meet the baby, then surely they should make the effort off their own backs..xx

A new born baby at a wedding for guests to play pass the parcel with, I'm sure that would end well.

Ok that T was random...apologies

Well, it was the baby's mother that decided she was going to make people wait until my wedding because she doesn't like visitors as she has a weird thing about people drinking from her cups??? and it was "easier" for people to be in one place, but I have paid money for relatives to come from London whatever to share MY wedding not make it a bloody baby christening because my cousins gf can't take her backside round to see people.

I was going to let the baby come but how people are more excited about seeing the baby is maddening. They have forgotten what they are actually attending and I'm not paying out thousands for people to sit around cooing and making stupid noises and giving unwelcome advice "oh she can't be hungry yet" " how is she sleeping" broken record smalltalk. What's the point of me ad my h2b getting all trussed up if no one is looking?

I know I sound right childish but at this point I really don't care. I'm hurt that my family would show such inconsideration, I mean....looking forward to seeing a baby in a dress that it probably wears all the time and will wear many more for years to come.... Get out more.

Ha! Allergic! :D
The one day you get to be demanding is your wedding so you've nothing to apologise for.

Babies are playthings at parties and the just get passed around. But totally on your side in that I wouldn't want a baby ruining my day and stealing my limelight! at least your cousin was ok about it, it's just his girlfriend. Tell her to have her own party to introduce the baby if she doesn't want people in her house! Cheek!

aw its just not fair is it!
You've definitely done the right thing hun, and now your cousin gets to enjoy your wedding too as he wont have his newborn there screaming the place down!
Well done u
xxx

Lol message from the girlfriend this morning. I kid you not, it was written like this

" u r rite owt ov orda y r u jelus ov a babba it int lyk she guna ruin ur day jus wana let evry1 hav a hold. wel we r a pkg so if she dnt cum nun ov us r cumin stuf ur wedin u selfish tw@"

HUMAN TRANSLATION LOL [ you are out of order. why are you jealous over baby? it's not like she is going to ruin your day! I just want to let everyone have a hold. We are a package, so if she can't come, none of us are coming. Stuff your wedding you selfish ----]

Now...that took me AGES to write it like that and my brain nearly exploded so she can't possibly say it was quicker :/

Well, she says she and the baby are not coming and neither is my cousin but he won't be spoken for and tells me otherwise and that he will see me there looks like I win this one. Usually it would be his place to defend her but he is yet another victim of this "pretend to take pill but don't" fatherhood so I can see why he is taking the opportunity!

id send her cryptic one back that took me ages to read, and tell her if she wants to show the baby off to arrange a baby shower thing, give her your venues room hire cost as well lol

she sounds like a stupid little girl to me.

good luck with the wedding

I think recommending a baby shower is the way forward, you could even suggest a theme of: 'learning to use correct grammar and spelling at school'.

Oh god, when I read that I actually paused between each word. I hate it when people type like that. She's just threatening you with the "we come as a package" (if thats what pkg means?!) hoping you will give in and say all three are welcome. But you already know your cousin is coming, so she will probably have a little paddy and sulk that her bf is taking your side over her but she will no doubt make an appearance on your wedding day, looking a bit sheepish and with the baby left at home. Either that, or she'll be cheeky and just turn up with the baby, which for your sake hopefully she won't :-) xx

i coulnt understand that properly!!! x

i completely agree with you, i have 2 daughters and its different when it your own children, like i want them to walk down the aisle in front of me and everyone go awww. but then all eyes are on me. if she wants people to meet the baby then she should invite them round and not use your wedding that you have paid alot of money for and alot of time planning. i would hate it if i was half way through my vows and a baby started screaming.

It's a little cheeky of her to presume she can bring the baby without asking first...we've just had a new baby in the family this week and before he was born the parents asked us if the baby would be welcome or were they to ask someone to look after him for the day.

We didn't mind the baby coming but we've expressed our wish for crying children to be removed from the ceremony if they start and they understand this. I'd be a bit miffed if they insisted our wedding was an excuse to introduce the baby to everyone, but luckily most of the family will have seen the baby by then anyway.

But to be honest i can see the mothers point of view too, as it's not very nice as a parent when your child gets excluded from gatherings, no matter how little they are. Would it really be so bad to have the baby there? I'm sure a baby wouldn't take the focus off how fabulous u and ur hubby will be looking and the wonderful day you'll have. After all a person can only get excited and coo over a baby for so long, once they've seen it, they've seen it...lol.x

Human translation by popular demand lol.


Just to add as linzi has said, I do have a son! <3

who I had via emergency c section on the anniversary of my mother's death while my dad was up in court facing prison for an offence he committed through drinking with grief, so I know exactly how it feels to be a stressed new mum and then some, but I knew my family would understand, I was a mess and my house was a mess, they did helpful things like bringing food for me and OH to eat, picked up the Hoover, ran a cloth about. Needless to say the only person that wasn't helpful was mil. My cousin is supporting her but he is entitled to have time off, bearing in mind the baby was a decision taken out of his hands and he was never ready to give up his freedom this early and that is a consequence the gf will have to deal with. I am not going to reach out to her because she really did put herself in this position. Why did she think it was ok to trick my cousin, it's the same thing my sil did and it's just not fair on the man at all. But this isn't the issue. The issue is that I haven't wasted thousands in order to provide a free baby shower.

Ps this is merely an informative post. I know it looks snotty and like I'm having a go but I'm not honestly! It's really hard to put a voice tone into a post

And she won't just turn up with the baby against my wish, luckily because my cousin won't allow her to

Im actually completely horrified for you, how dare she do that.

however before ppl jump on and rant at me about what i think to this may i firstly point out...

my niece had just recently had a baby we live in NI we were all attending a wedding in england so point 1 there was noone to be able to look after her for my niece ...point 2 nobody in england had met the child yet so unfortunatly the only time all the family would meet the child was at the wedding.

My niece didnt want that to be the time everyone met her as she felt the bride and groom will feel like their thunder was been taken away..but at the same time she didnt want the bride and groom to take away her thunder for introducing the baby to the family
she spent ages been upset about this and didnt know what to do for the best, we ended up organising a little get to together inviting everyone and giving everyone chance to meet the child, she got her moment and the bride and groom had theirs

so i do find it very selfish of your cousins gf to actually plan to do this to you especially if she she is in the same sort of area to everyone else, her cups??? seriously?? well what about everyone going to your nans house to meet the child before the wedding??
and my final point is... who hides the child away from family for 2 weeks or more.. first place i went as i left the hospital was my dads house where id pre phoned my sister and other family members saying... 'if you want to see the baby i'm at dads in 20 mins'

a new baby your wanting to show the whole world not wait to try and be center of attention at someone elses big day!!

Absolutely devondark ^_^

I don't care what she does, it's not up to me to arrange stuff for her, or keep her supermarket cups from "harm" o_O I don't get it, they're the same kind of cups as everyone else's notnantique or something lol. It's not like my family is diseased although mil will tell you different because she's so racist when I met h2b at college a while into the relationship when we erm..you know, well she was horrified and I couldn't figure it out, she then asked outright if I was " second hand" I said no but she said " but then it doesn't really matter if you areor aren't, most black people have aids don't they?"
Any way

I say the baby isn't coming. End of, whether she thinks I'm mean or not and if she is quite willing to talk to me like that I don't want her there anyway.

OMG! Just caught up with this thread!

You have done the right thing, baby and his evil nasty witch mother aka your cousins gf are banned from the wedding! Noone should steal your thunder on your big day and is vile that she even thought of it let alone actually planned on doing it. Nasty evil piece of work! What a little tramp! Permission to slap her silly!