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Wedding Forum - Annoying mum!...

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    • BryonyEminson2Be
      Getting married in 6 months
      Posted: Oct 27th 2020
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    This is a fairly long rant, so please bear with me.

    My parents split up about 10 years ago, but still don't get along.

    My dad has been with his girlfriend for years, I like her and we get on pretty well. On the other hand my mum has been with her boyfriend for a year (I think...) and as he lives quite far away I have only met him once and we didn't get a chance to talk - so I don't really know anything about him.

    My mum has insisted that her boyfriend wears the same suit as the wedding party so she can get a picture of "all her lot" all dressed up - I wouldn't mind this at all because frankly I don't care what he wears and he is paying for it, but I'm worried it might upset my dad.

    Then we move onto the seating plan. As both my dad's girlfriend and my mum's boyfriend will only really know their partners, my siblings, me and OH I proposed sitting them both on the same table as my siblings - they don't know each other and have no reason to mind this, and it will be right in front of the top table. But my mum insists this would be awkward and instead her boyfriend should sit on the top table with my mum... and my dad!

    She doesn't seem to understand why I wouldn't want this man that I don't know sat at my top table with my dad who will be - quite rightly - upset by this.

    Any time I try to talk to her about this I end up feeling like I'm being a bridezilla and although she doesn't say anything I can tell she thinks I'm being unreasonable - and also blames my dad (who doesn't even know about all this) for me being unreasonable.

    Am I being a bridezilla about this? How can I make her understand without upsetting the apple cart further?

    I should also point out that my OH's parents have also split up and have other partners so if I have both my parents partners then I'm sure his parents will want their partners too.

    And my soul saw yours and said
    "oh, I have been looking for you"
    we met 07/09/2004. we loved 28/02/2012
    we'll marry- 14.08.2021
    • KayleighM275
      Getting married in 3 months
      Posted: Nov 30th 2020
    You're not a bridezilla! I think your mum is being really unreasonable and to be honest the meal only lasts for maybe 2 hours max before people start getting up and moving around? I think they can manage being on different tables for a short amount of time. Of course you wouldn't want him on the top table, traditionally it is only supposed to be the bride, groom, parents, best man and maid of honour. Even if you're not doing it the traditional way you'd still really only want close friends/family on there, otherwise its not a 'top' table, its just a table. The wedding isn't about her, its about you and your OH so I think you might just have to have one firm conversation about it with her and put your foot down and then push it out of your mind. My SIL (to be) had a similar problem with my MIL to be who was upset that her new husband (who she had cheated on SIL's dad with!) was not on the top table, but she just had one conversation about it and that was that. MIL just dealt with it and it was a really nice day and everyone was happy. Honestly don't over think it, its completely okay to put your foot down on this. Do your wedding your way.
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