last night h2b told me that he wanted to watch the football at 5 today and i said that was fine. Well today he got in from work just before 1 and put snooker on tele. i sid i didnt want to have to out up with snooker all afternoon when he is going to to watch football later.
well anyway he let me have tele for an hour and then snooker went back on.
i asked him if he was going to be home after football, he said no. i asked him what time then and he said dont put me on a time limit but before 11! football finished at 730. i said 9 but he said 11!
i said i wanted to go out but refuse to go into the pub he is in as its horrible with bikers and the abr staff are rude and horrible and we have had an arguement and he has told me i have ruined his night and dont bother going down to meet him after football like he said earlier.
I am so fed up with staying in and i told him that if he wants a wife that stays in the house well it isnt me as i like going out too much at the moment!
he turns his phone off when we row aswell when he is out or puts it on silent which annoys me!
sorry for the long rant but am i being stupid or am i being reasonable? bear in mind he goes out with his mates every mon and every thurs! xx
CommentAuthorJilly17
I dont think you are being unreasonable at all! He already has 2 nights out a week which I think is alot and even if he did want to go to watch the football there is nothing stopping him from meeting you after it at a venue you are both happy with. Where is your couple time in all this? Would you not consider playing him at his own game and meeting a friend this evening and going out with them?
CommentAuthorUnknown
ive tried to organise something tonight but everyone was out last night and got really drunk and are out tomo night for a friends birthday so wont go out tonight!
he says we have plenty of time together but i dont think we do!
i said i would meet him after but it has told me no now which has annoyed me. he does it most saturdays and ive told him im not going to live my life like this every week! he tells me that i ruin his night everythime he goes out but he doesnt seem to understand that i have my night ruined by him going out all the time and he says i am being unreasonable!
CommentAuthorJilly17
aw that is not fair! Just because you see each other it does not mean it is quality time together. Everyone needs to feel special and important. If he has his set nights out of a Monday and Thursday and then adds on a Saturday too I personally think it is too much. Does he go out every Saturday too? Could you maybe agree a night when it is your time together where you go out together?
CommentAuthorNHR115
Aww darling that's not fair on you. You deserve to have your say about wanting to spend time with him without you getting the agro. I agree with the ryhope in that a set night for you both would be great. I hope things get better honey. xxx
not every saturday but a lot! he always goes out sat or sun afternoon to watch the footaball. part of the prob is most of bis mates are single so do what they want and when and the ones that are in relationships still do what they want and spend most of time down pub so he thinks it is normal! i asked him to cut down last night as we have so much to spend out on at the mo.
im glad someone else agrees that it is too much! i hadnt thought about a set night out actually!
he just really annoys me when he says i ruin his night out by getting upset!
CommentAuthorJilly17
I am not sure what he expects when he is leaving you in by yourself so much or is awkward about what time he is coming in! It is a problem when there is a mixed social group in different stages of relationships but at the end of the day it is his responsibility to look after and nurture the relationship you two have. I think I would be suggesting 2 sats a month together and a night midweek too. It doesnt have to be big nights out ... a trip to the cinema, happy hour meals, a walk somewhere nice and even a night in cuddled up with music or a dvd so you dont have to spend too much. I can never understand why men cant see if they make us feel special and important we are much more rleaxed with the things they do for themselves!!! Plonks!
CommentAuthorjanetx71
ohh dear what a horrible situation im going to be blunt here i think you need to tell him that hes not a teenage lad anymore going down the pub with his mates all the time he needs to grow up i would maybe also point out that your a grown woman and arent gonna put up with it lol sorry to offend but i hate the double standard xxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
janet...i have already told him that on more than one occasion! i told him this week that he is 37 and not 19 anymore and cant expect to go out like a single man can.
i really dont mind him going out on a monday as he plays pool and pool/snooker is his thing but that is another thing he has just started playing in a snooker league so has one evening out playing snooker aswell! Thurs he does a quiz and he says he sant let his mates down but then moans he is tires for work!
ryhope...we went out to the cinema on wed evening and it was so nice to spend time together! i have tried talking to him so much but he just doesnt get it that he goes out so much! i really dont want to stay in tonight but he has told me he doesnt want to see me xx
CommentAuthorjanetx71
he doesnt want to see you thats a horrible thing to say id go stay round a mates or go to your mums lol or maybe you could beat him at his own game and be out every night for a couple of weeks that would soon sort him out (but you would run out of places to go and probably money lol ) be worth it to see his face but then thats being as childish as he is being i guess id be gutted at him saying he didnt want to see me though how mean xxxxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
i told him it was a horrible thing to say. he knows i dont like going into the pub where he is but will go in any other pub in our town but insists on going there! i would def run out of money!
i dont understand why he cant come home after the the football but he is adament he is staying out. he said 11 but after our row he said he will be late! xx
CommentAuthorJilly17
I agree with Janet, that was a horrible thing to say even if he is annoyed! He is not a kid anymore and really when you work it out he goes out a hell of alot! I will come round and give him a slap for you ... I am just in the mood! lol!
CommentAuthorjanetx71
ohhh me too ill come and help or better still we will all gout and sod him lol xxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
thanks!! think he needs it! ive tried phoning him and he just isnt answering so guessing his phone is on silent! get so fed up staying in! going to talk to him tomorrow and say that things have got to change and mean it as i cant spend all my life like this xx
CommentAuthorjanetx71
on a serious note hun no you cant its meant to be about you and him not him and his mates good luck with the chat if that fails ill be down and we will go get drunk for 3 days lol xxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
that seems like a good plan! ive tried telling him so many times but it goes in one ear and out the other! xx
CommentAuthorJilly17
yeah lets go out!!!! sod em! Hopefully he will have clamed down tomorrow and be ready for a proper discussion. It must be costing him a fortune to start with!
CommentAuthorUnknown
he has just text me saying leave him alone
CommentAuthorJilly17
Oooooh he is so gonna get a slap! I would text him and tell him he is completely out of order and then leave it at that until tomorrow. He is being stubborn and defiant like a child.
CommentAuthorUnknown
ive tried phoning but no answer and have text him saying i want to go out with him but he is being an idiot!
CommentAuthorJilly17
aw bless! there is nothing worse!
CommentAuthorUnknown
sat here crying! just want to go out! im so fed up staying in at the weekend and this is his 3rd night out with his mates this week!
CommentAuthorJilly17
oh no! Hugs!!!!
CommentAuthorUnknown
just sent him one last message saying obv not going to phone me. he can never let his mates down but he can let me down and upset me. 3 nights out with his mates is plenty and i want to come out with him. all i want to do is speak t him and i dont think it is hard to expect.
he really doesnt think he goes out too much and no matter what i say he doesnt change his mind but it is going to have to as i am not going to live my life upset like this all the time
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
i dont think your been unreasonable at all men are selfish x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorUnknown
thanks stressed...you've changed your name back! x
CommentAuthorStave
You are gonna hate me for saying this but I think 9pm is too early for a 5.30 kick off. Allowing for extra time as well as the post match analysis. Then (especially a day like today when Spurs were robbed) you need to talk about the game and debate goal line technology, the rest of the seasons fixtures and do we want 6th place in order to have a rest and go for the title next year etc etc etc. Just as women get talking about things and time flies, it happens with men and football too! So I would have said that between 10 and 10.30pm would be reasonable. x
CommentAuthorUnknown
of course i dont hate you for being honest. i said 9 and he said 11 so in the end he said 10. the thing is he does it every time and it annoys me. he got home and we had a row and he said he is fed up with me getting upset when he goes out and i explianed that i wouldnt get upset if he came home at a reasonable time and didnt go out so much in the frst time.
We are ok this morning but he has said he is going to go out when he wants and im not going to stop him so a bit upset about that xx
CommentAuthorFaeth
Okay I'm gonna be a bit controversial here, and say I think you should ease off on him, and let him go out and not get upset everytime he does.... Now bear with me here a sec - this is kinda reverse psychology... I don't think you are wrong to be upset with him, but he's a guy, and some of them are a little like kids - the more you say no, the more they want to do it. So why not just ignore it, don't seem bothered..... Do your own thing..... Maybe he'll suddenly wonder why you don't seem to care any more, and conversely end up wanting to do stuff with you instead.
At the moment, he probably feels a bit like a kid being told off by a parent, and being given curfews and stuff, which is making him not want to spend time with you, and making him want to rebel more. I know this is not what you are doing, and as I say, don't think that I'm saying you are, I'm just suggesting that maybe he's reverting a bit to childhood (coz lets face it, a lot of guys do - and apologies to the ones that don't here!!) and basically being a bit like a sulky teenager who is not getting his own way.
"Of course I'm not wedding obsessed!!"
CommentAuthormegs
i agree with faeth...that is what id do
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
My htb absolutely loves his pop and we have had many arguments over the years, as it seemed like I give him an inch and he takes a mile. It would then get to the point where he would purposely have an argument with me, just so he could storm out and go to the pub anyway! I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, but if you are going to get the same result anyway and he is going to go out anyway, by you getting wound up and basically feeling like crap, your the only one getting upset as he's out busy enjoying himself.
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorUnknown
faeth...i do agree with you, and when things are fine with us i wonder why i make such a fuss until it happens again and i understand why i do it.
prehaps i should try it and see what happens but it will be so hard. i said to him last night he acts like a single man and he wont off on one so maybe i should try it and see if it changes.
he is going to watch the football again this afternoon aswell! xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
you need to go out with your friends and turn your phone off or put it on silent......BUT go our on a night when he is in , if you both go out on the same night he wont wonder about your as he will be distracted by his own activity
thanks...well i am actaully going to turkey in 2 months so he will prob wonder what i am doing so maybe he will understand then xx
CommentAuthorJilly17
well if he wont listen to you I think you have to beat him at his own game too! Just as long as it does not get out of hand that is!!!
CommentAuthorGriff
I've just been through this with Mike so I know exactly what you're going through. Call a friend go out with them and just set him straight when he has a strop when you get back, a headache I know but it's worth it ;) xx
CommentAuthorUnknown
glad im not the only way going through it at the moment griff xx
CommentAuthorJosoap
I would be just the same as you babe... I hate it when my h2b turns his phone off if we row, he stopped doing it recently though ( touch wood).... I am lucky my h2b understands I dont wana watch sport all time. And I get fed up of staying in, though cant afford to go anywhere any way.
Hope your ok hun X
Been with Neil 5 and half years...
Been Engaged 12 Month
Hope to be Married soon.
Life is full of surprises
CommentAuthorUnknown
im fine thanks. he just doesnt seem to understand that we need to save money as we have 2 months to pay everything!
im hoping he will start to reaslise himself that he needs to stay in more xx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
if i was u i wud have a nite out with the girls or even have them round for a few and not let him annoy u... :)
CommentAuthorUnknown
im going out for a girls night on the 13th may and then my hen on 21st may so will have a good time!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
u do right go out and have fun and dnt worry.. :)
CommentAuthorricky
never have and never will understand the need for alcohol to play such a major role in male pursuits. If darts and pool were played in a Church Hall, if football was on a ginormous screen in a nursery, if horse racing was in a local park would blokes go??? You bet your life they wouldn't..it's got nowt to do with the love of the game..it's to do with the love of the ale. If someone has a baby they 'wet the baby's head' ??? who did all the hard work..they should come and wet the kitchen floor with a mop coz their lovely bloke mate won't have cleaned up for the wifey to come home to. They celebrate someone leaving work, someone starting work, someone being born, someone dying, etc etc..any excuse to get sh!tfaced. Don't get me wrong I love a drink and so does my hubby (who actually up to now has only been out without me once in 3 years) lol But marriage is about partnership, support, trust, not sadness, hangovers, worry, arguments all the time. My ex loved a swift half..swift half my ar..se. 10 pints and snoring and farting more like. Hence he is an ex husband.
CommentAuthorHonest John!
I think Rickys comments are great! However not all men are teh same Thank God! Some still live the single life, which is very sad. I rarely drink, but when i do could drink for England, dont smoke, hate snooker and darts, football is a game for puffs, horse racing is for idiots with more money than sense, which in some cases is not very much money at all, its a Bank holiday and I have spent the day Cleaning the outside of the house, windows, plastics, gardening, and washing and cleaning the cars, no football no, darts, no alcohol, going to get my violin out now.
CommentAuthorricky
Marry me John!!!! lmao I know not all men are the same...but sadly it does seem to be the bone of contention in a lot of relationships. Is that why they invented all the euphamisms for having loads to drink to make it sound more user friendly lol When they used to call 'last orders' what was all this 'doubling up' on last orders..or' one for the road' what road?? Oh yeah the one he'll fall face down on staggering home. The first 8 pints were like 'milk' err no they are like alcohol!1 and they took nanoseconds to sup, but the last pint...drink that at the same speed..oh no!! takes eons to sup that one. I know there are some wonderful mature blokes who would never behave like that..my husband is one of them..xxx As I strike up my violin !!! lol
CommentAuthorUnknown
ricky/honest john your comments made me laugh! i read them to h2b but didnt tell him the thread was about him and he disagreed and said when he goes out he enjoys it more when he is drinking! xx
CommentAuthorricky
Course he disagreed..because that's the stage he is at. He genuinely believes he is doing nothing wrong and nothing needs to change. You will never change him..he has to accept he needs to change. So you have one of two choices..accept he won't change, love him anyway, and marry him and allow it to continue and never challenge him ever again... or ..accept he won't change, resent every minute he spends down his local with his mates...feel neglected and angry, marry him, it continues, you are totally miserable, divorce looms....get the picture..been there, got the t shirt.
I truly hopes he sees he needs to change his behaviour but HE AIN'T ANYWHERE NEAR THAT yet
CommentAuthorUnknown
i know he isnt! i tried talking to him last night and he wont even talk about it! still says i ruined is night again by being upset and having a go about him going out!
im going to try again in a few days time i think but like faeth said try not to show i get upset and just let him go out and he will wonder why i suddenly dont care! xx
CommentAuthornickers
yes i agree with what faeth said hun try talking when he calmed down men are hard to reason with sometimes xx
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
