I'm new here and so this might not be the place. I know that many of you will be kind but I need honest replies. I am in my mid forties and getting married for the second time. I did not have the big white dress first time around and really regretted it. I'd like to have a big white dress this time but..... I have been told more than once that I'll just look like a mid life crisis in motion. That it is possibly disrespectful to my first marriage to make such a big thing of my second
I know it's my wedding, that the comments are cruel, but sometimes there is an element of truth in cruel. I don't want to look back and think, "what were you doing?" Even a woman in a bridal shop looked strangely at me when I picked up a dress.
Please don't hold back. I value honesty.
L
CommentAuthorCatherineR
If a woman in a bridal shop is making those sorts of comments or looks then she is in the wrong business. Just because you are a little older, that doesn't give her or anyone else the right to tell you how to get married. It could be your first wedding for all she knows and why should you not enjoy what others do just because you aren't some flighty 20 something!
A wedding is a representation of your love and commitment so if you want to celebrate that under the sea, wearing multi-coloured feathers or jumping out of a plane then you do that! Everyone woman has the right to wear a white dress so tell them to stick their comments where the sun doesn't shine and stand proud on your wedding day in a WHITE dress!
Good luck :) x
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
edited
I agree with Cath above. This wedding is about what you and your partner want, no one else. As fit looking back and thinking what were you doing, I think your more likely to look back and regret if you don't have what you want. Just like you currently are with your first wedding. It does not matter if it's your 1st or 5th, ether your 18 or 80.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
ok please do not think like this, it doesn't matter how old you are- every girl deserves to have their dream day and that even includes if its your second time! if you have the channel TLC watch the programme 'say yes to the dress' you will see many older woman some even in their 50's and 60's trying on wedding dresses and none of them are steering away from the traditional white wedding dress! you go for what you want not what you think other people are thinking especially a woman in a bridal shop, how dare she make you feel like that i would of made it known how rude she was being! good luck and I'm sure you will look amazing xx
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorInDreamland
How dare anyone judge, who are they to think they can have such an opinion. As others have already said, your wedding will signify yours and your h2b love and commitment to each other and you have a right to have your day in any way you choose. If shop assistants are going to make you feel uneasy or uncomfortable with your personal choices for what will be such a special and significant life event then they are not worthy of your custom, I'd just turn around and walk away.
Where are you based? I can recommend a very good bridal boutique that will treat you with respect and as an individual but don't know where abouts in the country you are.
Don't let anyone make you feel you have to do things in a certain way to conform to what others may view is acceptable or the norm.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
Make a fuss! Have the wedding u want u clearly didnt get it first time round make up for it now! Midlife crisis is something id never think of a wedding is a wedding be it your first or 2nd 3rd 4th! Celebrate it in your style however u wish! X
CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorleasa
Have your dream wedding!
No one would think the same about a man!!!
I'lol be 36 on our wedding day and he'll be 49. My 1st (and only time, his 2nd) and no one will comment on his suit choice, so why should they comment on your dress choice?
Go back to that shop and tell the snobby assistant that because of her attitude she just lost out on a sale (pretty woman style). Then find a shop that values its customers.
Enjoy your fairytale, and be yourself x
Met 30th May 2005
Proposed in Monte Carlo August 25th 2013
Became Mrs K on 30th May 2015
Married my Gorgeous Greek God
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
'I didn't have the big white dress first time and really regretted it'. The fact you regretted it first time you will regret it if you don't do it second time around.
How came someone say a white wedding dress will look like a midlife crisis are they for real I've seen older brides in white wedding dresses some really extravagant. If you look and feel great in the dress then you get the one you really want.
I really don't see how it's disresectful to your first marriage, both marriages are different. As for the woman in the bridal shop she isn't very good at her job if your wanting to buy a wedding dress and she doesn't agree with it.
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorAprilS61
My mam got married for the FOURTH time when I was 14 (my dad was third!) and she must have been about 44ish, not sure. She had 3 dresses, one her friend bought from BH$ for £20, another on eBay for the jacket that was included, then her best friend honestly said they did nothing for her. She took her to a real bridal store and got a lovely a-line dress, which was very lightly coloured I believe.
Point being, do what you want and most importantly WEAR what you want. I love big dresses and it doesn't matter how old you are, there's nothing to say if you're over 40 you can't wear a big white dress. Would it be 'socially acceptable' if you were 39, but suddenly not 40? Who cares! Age doesn't come into it, it's ultimately down to you and your partner marrying to show your commitment to each other and being surrounded by those you love and care for.
And for the bridal store... I think the ladies above have pretty much summed up x
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I think you should have whichever dress you choose, whether it short,long,white or any other colour...nobody should put your choice of dress down especially a sales person who's a virtual stranger, in fact if it were me I wouldn't even go back to that shop! Pick whichever dress makes you happy x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorclairenina
it's more about how you look and feel. Age really is only a number
CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
You do what makes you happy. Whether it's a white dress or all the colours of the rainbow, it's your choice, nobody elses. A friend of mine got married for second time a few years ago. She did the whole white dress etc and she was in her 40s at the time. A good bridal shop would never treat you in that way. I'm 35 and getting married in April. First time for both of us and we're super excited.
The right dress is out there for you whether it's a big princess dress or something more chic :o) Good luck with the search xx
CommentAuthorTheNewMrsBarrett
I agree with the other ladies, have your dream wedding! I will be 43 when I get married (for the 2nd time) next year and this wedding is turning out bigger than my first! Doesn't matter what age you are, it's what the two of you want that matters xx
CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
There are quite a few celebrities that get married for fourth or fifth time and they were wearing the big white dress. If its good for them, its good for anyone! Tell whoever have said to you that you can't have your dream dress that they're the one's being disrespectful. x
Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
CommentAuthorSammi_with_camera
Definitely agreeing with the others here, I say go for it and you deserve the dress of your dreams. I'm a wedding photographer and have shot a few brides who are older than you, every time they have worn a wedding dress and have look beautiful. Find a new shop to look in dress shopping should be fun xx
CommentAuthorNaomiC8
Firstly that was not very nice of people to say such things... and as for being a disrespect to your first marriage.. your first marriage is no longer subsisting so what does it mater.. you've moved on from that on to something and someone new and your taking this big step together.
No matter your age, you are entitled to wear whatever you feel comfortable in, it is your wedding and your choice.. if you want to look like a queen/princess on your big day, its your prerogative and you should embrace all of it.. You didnt get to do it the first time round so why should you not fulfill your dreams now...
Dont listen to any negative comments from outsiders... its your wedding, your dress, your life... and its all beautiful...
CommentAuthorCamilaL
Ok, in theory, you have people that love you at your wedding. People that are happy for you and wishing you the best things in the world. There's no age to have your dream wedding. If your dream dress is a white one, a princess one, it's completely up to you!
CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
I think it depends on the type of person you are. If you are an older type of woman a big white dress might not be the right style. You might be wanting it because you regret not having it at your first wedding when the big white dress would have been perfect. However if you are a younger type of woman with that kind of personality a big white dress could look amazing. My advice would be to try on a lot of different styles in different colours so white, ivory, blush, gold etc and find exactly what you feel you love and feel comfortable in now. What you loved when you were 20 and what you love now will be different. Whatever kind of dress you choose be sure it is the dress that you love and don't worry about what anybody else has to say x
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
There is absolutely no reason for you not to wear the big white dress. Just make sure you choose something that you feel good in.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthormichgib
edited
I think you would regret it if you never wore a big white dress. You are never too old you go girl and have a great day
CommentAuthorDonna2501
Wow I hate some of the ppl that work in bridal stores, every bride, despite which number wedding, should be made to feel special. I'm getting married for the second time next year and I'll be 41, I will not hold back if I hear any snipes about me lol
Go for it lady and make sure you are made to feel special
Met 2008
Started dating 2009
Got engaged July 2010
Will get to marry the man of my dreams on 26/9/15
CommentAuthorBecky1608
It sounds like you have your heart set on this so I definitely think you should go for it!! It's your day and as the other ladies have said, you should have your dream dress. My godmother got married 3 years ago and she was 56/57. She still had an ivory dress and she looked lovely.
If you get anymore members of staff in bridal shops who are rude or make you feel uncomfortable then I'd just say that you'll go elsewhere and go all Pretty Woman on them - 'big mistake'! Xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
You go for it and have what you want. I was 40 when I got married, I wore the big white dress. It's very rude of her to say that to you and very unprofessional.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorTeresaC54
I'll be 45 when we get married next year and I am having the works! Go to a different bridal shop, the ones I went to were all adorable people and ~I tried every single style going ! Don;t let a few negative people spoil your special day :)
CommentAuthorAmyK
My mum was 63 when she got married for the third time - she wore an ivory dress and was glad she did! She chose what she felt happy in & it showed when she wore it.
There's no such thing as being too old or a white dress being inappropriate, unless, perhaps it was your 40-somethingth wedding, then perhaps I'd be thinking 'hmm', but as for 40-something in age - wear whatever you want!
CommentAuthorJennK
Go for it! You will regret it otherwise.
I had in my head I would have a fairly simple understated dress, but once I got shopping I ended up with something with a bit more of a wow factor. My guests won't be expecting it from me as I'm quiet and reserved a lot of the time, but that makes it more exciting to see their faces as I walk in :)
Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3
CommentAuthorJoannaS
I was 52 when I got married for the 2nd time it was hubby's 1st time I didn't have all the trimmings the first time round as we couldn't afford it but this time we did. My dress was burgundy but a bridesmaid dress as I really didn't want a wedding dress but I had everything else as in sparkley head comb etc. I wish now I had tried on the wedding dresses so I say go with whatever you want and take no notice of some woman in a bride shop who thinks she knows best cos they don't!!! xxxx
