Last year i found the perfect venue, it had just had a £3 million re-fit, and new to doing weddings. i went along and paid them £200 to keep our date. not a contract, just to keep the date. Last week we went to see about menus etc, and the manageress told us at first that we could'nt have choices ofmenus, because that would mean emplying 2 more chefs.....(my wedding is only for 24 people). so we had to stick to the one choice. we talked about our favorite foods, and what we wouldlike on this menu of one choice, and thinking about it now, she steered us towards what she wanted us to have. not that i am not strong enough to say NO, we want such & such. the meals sounded fine and we went with the options she suggested. Then before we left she had a brainwave, and said that she would book us in as 'private dining' and not a wedding, and this would help us in that we could go off the hotels main menu, and not have the £750 room fee to pay....seeing as we were only a party of 24 and the wedding is only going on til 7.
Then looking at the menu she gave me, i noticed that ours is not a special wedding menu...(not that it needs to be) but the meals she steered us towards was already on the hotels menu anyway....
I emailed her the folowing day, saying that given the fact that we are possibly going to be booked in as private dining and not a wedding breakfast, and the meals we chose were already the meals that the hotel has on its menu anyway, then WHY do we have to stick to just the one choice? if a party of 24 wanted to book for a birthday meal..does that mean they would all have to order the same meal? no i dont think so! IF you had made a special wedding menu just for us, then i can absolutely understand why we might have to have the same meal, but thats not happening.
as yet she has not replied, and that was 6 days ago. i think its rude.
but also what i am wondering is, i asked her about paying her money etc, and she said i should wait for her to send the contract before paying any more money, because we might not be happy with a few things......damn right
sooooo, the £200 i paid her to keep our date, IF we decided to go elsewhere, do you think we could get our deposit back? in view of the fact that she hasnt even had the decency to get a contract out to us. and i am not happy with the meal arrangements.
the crux of it is, if we are going off the hotel menu, then as such, i want to be able to have a choice. i would send invites to my guests, and just so there wasnt too many different meals ordered, i myself would limit the choices to just 3.
The hotel i LOVE has a wonderful menu, and even its cheapest (£35) has 3 choices! i really feel like i want to get my deposit back and book the other hotel, but i cant justify losing £200. but we havent signed a contract, just paid £200 to keep our date free. she is the one that is holding everything up, we cant even get our invitations printed yet because i am waiting on her telling us if we can have menu choices, because i want to include a mini-menu with the invites. she never emails back, and hardly ever available if i ring up.
Am i being a bridezilla?
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorKatya
do yuo have a receipt for the £200? If you do then you can claim it was NOT a deposit but instead it was a admin fee that should have had a contract sent out upon receipt of monies. As the contract has still not come out and it has taken (insert length of time) to do so you have little faith that one will be sent out and at that point seeing as you will be just a regular customer she owes you a refund of the admin fee that the origional contract required!
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
yes i do have a receipt for it, and all it has on it is the amount and the date .....
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorgdu
can you cancel the wedding booking and rebook as a private party and just not mention the W word. Tha way you get the hotel you love the private room at no cost and the menu choice.
Perhaps try calling her to discuss - I know its an easy excuse but they might be having email trouble or she could be off sick so doesnt have an out of office on. If you love the hotel then hopefully you can work with them to have what you want. As they are new to doing weddings they maybe just aren't very experienced at event planning so you might have to be more forceful with what you want.
CommentAuthorJilly17
They sound very unprofessional to be honest and I would at least give it a go to get your deposit back as Katya suggests but send a copy the the hotel manager mentionning you have had no contact from her for over week!
Bahaa if that was me I would be exactly the same, she's sounds useless and I went to a place and the woman was exactly the same I left saying I didn't want the place if she was the one organizing it, if I was u get ur money back and go some where else where they will treat you as a honored guest, that's how u should be treated and they should be accomodating ur need not the other way around, I would say that u have had unexceptible service and that u don't want a place with a lady like that who makes u feel that ur wedding is nothing special, they might turn arround and bend over backwards for u or they will give ur money back..
I woukdnt stay there myself but if u love the place u have to do what u feel is right
Good luck xx
Finally Engaged 1/11/11
Loves my h2b and my son charlie 2 the moon and back
cant wait till we finally arrive at the big day
May 2013
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
the other hotel that i prefer has just got back to me telling me that it isnt available for our date. :( if it had been i would have gone to see them and suffered the £200 loss if i had to, but i cant even do that npw.
you are spot on tinkerbell, i DO want to be treated like an honoured guest, its not like she is doing anything for FREE, she wants us to have what SHE wants, yet we pay! she is wanting us to eat of the everyday menu but treat us as a wedding, and i am not happy with that. if we are a wedding party and can have only 1 choice, then MAKE our menu from scratch.
I will phone her tonight because i am incensed by it, i dont want to throw my dummy out of the pram and cancel and then not have a venue, but if she continues to P*** me off, then i will look elsewhere and when i find somewhere , then i will cancel.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorKATG
I dont see why you should pay for a wedding menu if you are getting the standard menu. My venu gives 3 choices of Starter, main and desert in each price range. Its not unreasonable to want choice. good luck, i'd sack that place off and find somewhere else, unless you absolutely love, which it doesnt sound like you do. xxx
Mrs Wilson2B
Need to loose 5 stones and 2lbs
3 Stones 2 lbs lost so far!!!
Getting Married 3rd August 2013
CommentAuthorJill
That's rubbish hun, get the email addy for her manager, I'm sure it'll be sorted quickly then x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorKelly
No it is not unreasonable to want a choice... they do not sound very helpful atall huni xx can you not change your venue? i know its not ideal but it may be a idea as then you can have what you want?
CommentAuthorkrissy905
having worked in restaurants the chef should easily be able to accommodate you all having any meal of the menu especially if you pre-select and they know what you are all eating. if there chef cant cope with that number of people they he isn't very good most cold starts are made in advanced for larger tables and every thing prepped ready to cook fresh deserts can usually be pre plated to and kept in a fridge till they needed and then finished off as they are sent out. i have worked in lots of restaurants and even did my college placement in a 5 star harrogate hotel and thats what they all did. i would deffintly ring her and say that you want to have more of a choice of food 24 isn't a large number to cater for and you are willing to get your guest to pre-order there food
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
thanks girls, thats what i thought, i mean what kind of chef cant cater for 24 people? i dont want to have a chice of their WHOLE menu, i just want to give my guests the choice of 3. then i would also pre-order that anyway.
they are not charging me for a 'wedding menu' as such, but my thing is, if we aint having our own menu, and ordering off the hotels menu......then i want to be able to choose. not everyone likes the same thing.
If it WAS a wedding menu made specially for us, AND there was 100+ people then yeah i agree with them, but 24??????
Latest news is......still no reply to the email i sent her LAST sunday.....7 days ago. surely if she is in business she checks emails?
getting madder by the minute! If i have to resort to phoning her, i wont be in a very good mood.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
KATG
I DID love it but going off it fast, but finding somewhere as nice as this will probably be a nightmare. but I would prefer not to go there now , just dont really want the hassel, and dont want to lose £200. but if after i speak to her i am still not happy, then i WILL look elsewhere.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorJill
I'm with you... if a chef cant cater to 24 different orders she/he shouldnt be in the kitchen! We're having a choice with 100 guests and understandably there's an additional charge but not for 24 people... that's ridic. I'd get on the phone asap before you blow a fuse! x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorJanie
My OH and I actually ruled venus off our list of possibles for NOT allowing us to have more than one choice of menu. We really just dont like that idea, we want to offer a choice, even if it were pre-ordered from each guest. We feel that if we had one choice only there are going to be people who dont like it and that means they could end up going without or being hungry. It doesnt seem too much to me to be able to offer 2 or 3 choices.
Remember : To the world you may be just one person,
BUT to one person you may just be THE WORLD x x x
CommentAuthor*~Nicola~*
Hope you manage to get this sorted soon! It's better for yourself and your guests if they have choice :0)
One of the reasons we went for our venue was because we are able to allow our guests to choose their own meals rather than be given what we order for everyone. We were given 3 differently priced menus to look at and within those were then 3 starters, mains and desserts. Once we'd decided upon our price range we then knew which choices our guests would have. This way you don't have fussy guests moaning they don't like this...and they'd prefer it like that...(trust me i have a couple of friend who are a very fussy eaters)
About your £200, i'm not a wedding expert by any means but if your venue have refused other people for your date over the past year due to you "holding it" i can only imagine if you were to cancel they will keep that money in fear of not filling the date at all.
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
yeah nicola i thought that too, but SHE is the one holding everything up. 7 days now and no reply to my email, every time i wanted to get things sorted she put me off for weeks at a time, excuses ranged from going on a cruise just had an open day and i am snowed under christmas is coming christmas has just been! lets get 2-3 weeks into January before we meet up.
i have trying to get this sorted since last year, but she kept telling me it was too soon. and now.......if i dont like it i am either stuck with what she demands we have, or if i cancel i am stuffed. no win situation for me really. if she had agreed to meet with us earlier, and said no to the choices, i might have had an outside chance of booking up elsewhere. she has stalled so many times that its got into 2012 and most places will be booked up now.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
Well..... 3 weeks on and she still has neither answered my email or sent me any kind of contract. The thing is, if i ring her, she makes me feel as if i am being a nuisance, and sort of talks to me as if i am 5 years old.
And we want to get this sorted, and i have the full amount of cash here to pay her, not an installment. so if she would just get back to me we would go over and pay her the bill in cash. but she wont, and this makes me feel uneasy. is it because we are a small wedding ? and if she is this laxidaisy now, then what is our wedding day going to be like?
I know i am going to have to phone her, but as more time has gone by i have got p***ed off about it so i am not going to be the friendliest person she could wish to speak to today.
What's wrong with these people???? does she not want the business? not only is it poor business its bloody rude and I am so close to switching venues......Grrrrr!
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorkirstymc
Why not call the venue and make an appointment to see the manager. Write down all your concerns, print off any emails you have etc, go in totally prepared and ask if someone else can be in charge of your wedding. Also make sure the manager knows that it is essential that you are allowed a choice in your menu. Tell him/her that you have lost all confidence in them to actually make your day special and it is purely because of the way you have been treated. Make sure you mention that you have been unable to issue invites to your guests because of her dilly dallying and as such you are being forced to look at other venues as the wedding is so close.
Don't leave until you have assurances in writing of what the venue intends to do to put this right, and a timescale that is acceptable to you.
Of course you could always go in, lay it all out then request your money back as she has failed to provide a contract.
It's a difficult situation to be in and I really hope you manage to get it sorted. Keep us posted xx
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
The woman i have been dealing with is the manageress....unfortunatley.
I DO feel like doing that to be honest, but dont want to rush in demanding my money back in case we cant get anywhere else. I think the first thing I must do is ring her, and if she can assure me on the phone then all well and good, but if i still feel uneasy, I think looking for another venue will be on the cards. I might lose the £200, but hey-ho. I also dont want to give her the rest of my money for something i don't want.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorAntonia9
she sounds very unprofessional or unorganised both of which you dont want as a wedding organiser, id send another email demanding an answer and getting them to sort out the menu or id start looking elsewhere. 7 days is a ridiculous amount of time to wait for an answer about something so important. Tell her to poke it! ;0)
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorAntonia9
Sorry forgot to add about the money, you are entitled to get that back if you arent happy, if no contract was signed or she didnt say it was non - refundable (in writing) then you will be covered.x
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorstarbabe78
could you just not make another appointment perhaps get ur h2b to phone up and book it in his name that way she may think it is someone else and go and speak to her direct that way you will know if she is just messing you around or is truly very busy either way they don't sound to be very professional with weddings if all that fails i would seriously look at trying to book somewhere else and be grateful it is just £200 and not a lot more. x
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
@ antonia.....its not 7 days, its 21 days now :(
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorAntonia9
thats not acceptable! call her and demand an explanation and tell her if she wants your business then she needs to be sharper on the responses. This is one of the most important days of your life, people who are working in this wedding business shouldnt be dragging their feet! I know you love this venue but if she is this unorganised and unresponsive id be questioning what she would be like on the day! Ask for another coordinator or start looking for an alternative venue if i was you because this isnt acceptable!
I feel like ringing her up and ranting for you! lol x
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorVintageChic
I agree with Starbabe, if she keeps fobbing you off book an appointment under a different name, then go in with a written list of all the ways you feel you've been let down by her and confront her face to face.
Explain to her she has (for example but doesnt have to be) 7 days to get this all sorted out or you will take your business elsewhere as (according to your status on here) you only have 5months til your big day, you do not have the luxury of just hanging around til she's ready to get her backside in gear. You have to remember to be firm but POLITE though as you dont want her taking a mini vendetta to herself if she thinks you were being rude or verbally abusive (which i'm sure you wouldnt be anyway lol).
Like Antonia I feel like ringing up on your behalf and having a go LOL, because it IS unacceptable and she doesn't deserve your business. In all honesty you should try very hard to find somewhere else, but dont cut your losses with the £200. Essentially you'd just be paying her £200 for doing Jack the past few months.
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
- Moderator
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
thanks girls, thats just the kind of shove i really need. i HAVE to get it sorted, my wedding date is August 11th, and i just think that maybe she dont want our business because its a small 24 people wedding, August is a popular month for weddings and maybe she is hoping for a bigger one to come along.
I emailed her 2 hours ago, not that that did any good, but i am going to phone her, and ask why she is ignoring my emails.
Ya know what though, Even if this is sorted to my satisfaction, to have to go through this has really put me off her and the whole place. It feels like because ours is such a small wedding that she thinks we are poor. OK i'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but i never once asked for discount, i didnt ask for anything to be 'thrown in for free', and the prices for meals she quoted me i agreed with,And we chose the most expensive food they served, but i feel like she is treating us like a couple who is trying to get everything on the cheap. And I also feel that she is just sitting it out waiting for me to cancel, because MAYBE she has another, bigger wedding she would prefer to book. Because that would bring in more money obviously.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthoremmaaa
Definitely ring her, if she hasn't answered you emails after 3 weeks, she's not going to, I guess she's just sticking her head in the sand and hoping you'll go away! Even our venue has said we can add a choice, and that's for 56 people! Is it a chain hotel? If it is it may be worth dropping them a line too, not just at the menu thing, but about her attitude, it's totally not on!
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
I rang and she wasnt there. She is the manageress and its not a chain so i cant go over her head so to speak.
Saturday she told me is her busiest day and yet she has taken it off to go shopping. another bloody lie. I gave a message to her assistant that i wont be here until tomorrow tea time, going to belgium tonight on a booze run and wil get back here tomorrow lucnchtime. so she is asking her to ring me tomorrow. but i bet she dont.
why couldnt she get back to you after her "shopping trip" what a bloody farce - shes making me angry! lol
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorKatya
Id go down there and refuse to leave until its sorted out! if sitting in the job centre with 1 bottle of baby milk not a penny on me and jobcentre saying im not entitled to a crisis loan works and they finally give it to me theb doing the same elsewhere when its not the givernment being stubborn will also work. They cant lock un and they cant touch u in order to throw u out. Id sit and wait!
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorloustew2012
id go down there. everytime ive had a issue or a query ive went down to the venue. and had them confirm it to my email as soon as i got home. i deal with the wedding coordinator and when hes not in i deal with the general manager all due to the fact i dont trust the woman coordinator. mp is going all out to get us further discounts but she wants more cash.
so my advice is go to the venue speak to her or the general manager and then get it in writing afterwards if you can xxx
All the ways of my life id rather be with you.
Theres no way without you.
10.11.12
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
edited
I'm not sure, but i think the manageress is also the wedding co-ordinator/planner (she aint doing a lot of planning for me, i can tell you) .....so any issues i have got, its her and only her i can go to. Believe me if she had a boss i would be speaking to him/her, but i am stuck between a rock and a hard place. If i go off on one, i MAY get all the things i want, but at what cost,? because there will be an awful atmosphere wont there?
I'll see if she rings me tomorrow as her assistant said , and if she doesnt then i will have more ammunition to throw at her, not answering emails, or phone calls....I wish i had never set eyes on her...
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorKatya
Is she the owner? if not then she has a boss!
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
Yeah, I just looked it up.......I'm afraid she is the owner. So there's no going above her, Bugger!
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorKatya
when you do finally contact her you have more than just not answering calls or emails.....
1. putting shopping before her responsibilities 2. watchdog..... now that i think of it you could take her to watchdog! 3. putting her own holidays before her respponsibilities 4. ask if shes qualified as a wedding planner and how many years experience shes got at planning weddings... if she only has a year or so then she needs to at least be qualified if not then she is one of those people that think "i planned my own wedding now lets do someone elses" im sorry im not trying to offend anyone here but.... just because you can do your own does not mean you have the slightest chance in getting someone elses right or even know what your meant to be doing. 5. not responding to emails 6. not responding to phone calls 7. not sending out a contract 8. refusing to treat you as a wedding party 9. trying to force her own choices on you 10. refusing to allow you to have a wedding menu 11. not giving you an itemised receipt / invoice
im sure as i think i may well find more..... but thats enough to get you started i should expect
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
Well I rang another venue....one i have been to before and it was beautiful. It wasnt available for our date, but it IS available the Sunday before....5th August.
So they have pencilled me in and I am going over to see them next weekend. (cant go tomorrow as i'd like to because we are going to Belgium in 3 hours) ...its called the Brackenborough hotel at Louth, and its reallly gorgeous. I dont know if H2B will be happy to move the wedding date though? I'll ask him later when he gets up (he's working nights so he is still in bed).
I would rather lose the £200....and like modmummy said, be thankful i only wasted £200 and not more. she has ruined my wedding planning experience, i am not having her ruin my wedding day aswell.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthormadhen
Think that's a good move - just forget about her and move on, even if she does FINALLY start sorting things for you you won't be comfortable relying on her from now until the wedding. You're better off elsewhere, worst case scenario you've lost £200 but I'd really be worried about placing your big day in her hands :(
CommentAuthorKatya
do you see what i mean though? you have far more to complain at her about than any one should have about anything they plan on spending money on.
i do seriously suggest taking her to watchdog tho, you can remain anonymous so only us ukb members and possibibly her will know if thats what you want but you may well get compensation as well as your £200 back and also you may find out that it was either your money she went on a spending spree with and is therefore feeling guilty and not contacting you or failing that maybe (it strikes me you mentioned employing more chefs) that she is actually spending all the business money instead of paying bills etc with it and cant afford the chefs permently and is in actual fact causing her business to go under and is hoping that doing wedding parties will bring in more money for more spending sprees?
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
Yes Katya you have some very valid points, and i will use them to get my money back. I am a wedding photographer and if i treated my clients this way.....i wouldnt get (nor would i deserve) to get wedding bookings.
She is very un-professional in wedding planning AND running a hotel. Because SURELY, every email/phone call that is business related should be answered, no matter how much you dont feel like it or how busy you are. and she cant be so busy that she doesnt have time to answer me, then take the day off to go frigging shopping!
Have spoken to H2B about not being happy to continue with her, and he just thinks i am 'going off on one'! thats because its always ME that has to sort things like this out. If it was left to him, then HE would go off on one aswell. he isnt happy with the way she is being, but he is a plodder, and doesnt like to rock the boat and is ok waiting for her to get in touch.....so i havent broached the subject of going to see the other hotel....(and they got back to me earlier with an appointment for next Saturday 11.30 ...and they KNOW its a 24 people wedding and are still professional and reply to emails!
As we are paying for this wedding together, he MAY be happy to wait for her to get in touch, but i am NOT happy giving her another penny of MY share of the wedding cost.
but first i have to convince him its a good move....and THEN convince him to bring the wedding forward by 1 week. which wont bode very well as we booked and paid for honeymoon on Tues 14th August.....if we marry on the 5th, then we will have to go back to work for a week before we go on honeymoon as we havent got enough holiday days to take .
I am more P!ssed off now than before! i was only mad at her before, now i am mad at HIM ASWELL! LOL
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorKatya
dont be mad at your h2b babe, men are like this.... at least your man wants to get married! mine just says "yeh i proposed but getting married is just a piece of paper and not a priority"!!!! he wants to get a house and landrover and his astra to race spec before getting married! i however say.... he put a ring on my finger now he has to go through with it!
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
Just got back from Belgium.....what a nightmare trip......Ice, fog, snow .....(booze and fags run). anyway thought i would check my emails to see if she had replied to the one i sent yesterday.......guess what??? NOTHING!
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorkrissy905
the Brackenborough hotel is really nice raggedyanne i wanted my wedding there but h2b said no as it was to posh (his words) lol so we went for the grange and links which is closer to home. the owner of your hotel doesn't sound like she really knows what she is doing probably one of them people who buy hotels thinking they are easy to run and is now finding out its not and theres more to it then she thought.
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
edited
I photographed a wedding at the brackenborough hotel last year and it was lovely.
Is The Grange in Sutton-on-sea? if so i have photographed 2 weddings there. one last year and one the year before and its lovely. but its too far for us....40+ miles, mind you it might be nice for our guests to walk on the beach and would make some great pictures.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
No i am wrong, i am thinking of the Bacchus Hotel.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
I rang another hotel today, the Petwood Hotel in Woodhall Spa, and we have an appointment for saturday! YAY! the Brackenborough, although lovely. is too far and our date wasnt available, and would have had to change the date to sunday 5th, and didnt want to do that. so ANYWAY....here is the new place. its CHEAPER than the first hotel, free room, just paying for 24-26 meals and nothing else.....look at those grounds, what great pictures we can have...
