Ok so the first wedding "disscussion" has happened....... i have told H2b that i dont want any children at our wedding apart from immediate family ie ....my children , our nieces and nephew.
As this is the 2nd wedding for both of us i feel that i want to have a very adult affair, he says that if we invite ALL his cousins we have to extend that to their children too (the cousins will prop only be invited to the evening so and quite frankly i dont want to have kids running around and sliding all over the dance floor )
Well girls am i being unfair ?

i personally am having loads of kids at both my engagement party and wedding, i feel they make the day, and tbh ther would be too many people wouldnt be able to come if their kids couldnt :)
xx

We are only really having them unless it means parents won't be able to come without them. But then, we don't know many people with kids so will be able to talk to everyone individually about it.........

im kinda in two minds too we got a lot of friends with kids and sme with family and it ending up that we got 15 kids from age 1 down at time of wedding youngest will be two more or less now oh dont want his youngest cousin there as she a terror always runnng around and being noisy and he doesnt want her shouting during ceremony etc but im having my cousins (hopefully) as flower girls so i dont think it will be fair of us to say they can come and the others cant plus she will moan!! it gotta be your decision hun i know how you feel about the sliding on the dance floor tho in my case it would be my briother (23 next) not just kids lol.
I realise that not much help but it is upto you if you dont want to upset people maybe you could hire a childminder or soething which will take the pressure off you but wont upset the parents etc?? extra cost but might sort the problem

personally i dont even see why we have to have all his cousins ( i dont have any) he couldnt even name them this morning.......we dont socialise with them , in fact in most cases he would know them if the walked past him

thanks for this ,girls really helping me

could understand that Kaya ...all ours are local

relf ty babe that makes me feel better about saying what i want ........we dont even get christmas cards from most of them so why would i be paying for them and their children ........ohhhhhhh i`m getting hard in my old age

were doing the same as goff, sending a note with invites! only immediate family children only, so there will be 3! sound terrible but i'm not a fan of kids an niether is h2b! xxx number restrictions is always a good excuse! xxxx

Claire - thats a brilliant idea - i should have thought of that lol - Lalabunni - its definatly your day and do what you want. everone else can go f*** themselves. as you can see this really rattles my cage and i do regret about not putting my foot down.... saying that its not to late, i still have a few weeks lol. xx

DO IT...remove all those family hangeroners!

I am so pleased we decided to the smaller wedding as I am fecked if I am having anyone whom cannot speak/look at me whilst meeting in a supermarket, gives me 'looks' when I was new to the family whilst they are sa in a nice familiar family grup...folk whom WILL have something to say re my 'non perfect' looks...and bring up how their daughters looked 'stunning in their size 8 designer dresses' ..NO. NO, NO. I will be relaxed and not catering to some family stranger or 10!

whooooooo hoooooo ty all have just read out all comments to h2b .....and feel much stronger about standing my ground ...big hugs to you all

Hi thats a hard one, our reception is a garden party in a marque but i didnt want kids ramsacking my house which will also be open to the guests, but i have two daughters and if someone invited me and said my kids werent welcome even though i probably wouldnt take them, i wouldnt go out of principle, my girls are my life. but its your wedding and your day, do what makes you happy, i have learned you cant please everyone, like i said its a hard one

i did suggest the "under 14 rule" but that would mean that his sisters kids couldnt come >>>( maybe not such a bad thing !!!!) so i suggested immediate family only which would mean age at time of wedding would be
my kids ....27, 23, 18,16
my nieces ...19 & 17
his nieces/nephew.... 11,9 & 5
the other children he wants to invite are those of cousins ....

Moe the "cousins" etc are only being invited to the eveing do......i understand what you are saying tho

plus most people who have children want to share special things like this with them too, i don't have children my h2b does.

Alsbetty i would be sharing it with children...... grown up ones..... mine !!,the people who have the children would not be invited to the day do anyway as there are just to many of them so it would be evening only

oh Hun i dont think your having a go for one minute, i value your opinion and am grateful that you take the time to post it .

im having no children under the age of 10 unless they were at my daytime do! i dont care who i upset less people 2 feed at end of the day! cost a fourtune for all the kids as its £10 per person and about 30 kids under 10... most people are happy as they are seeing it as a night off! x

I dont think its unreasonable at all we had the discussion and are only having our immediate families kids that we see reguarily and my best friends kids no extra kids at evening do just the kids from the main eent will be there its what we want dont see why anyone should pay the extra for kids they dont know or dont see, not fussed who we offend why should any bride or groom its our day we should enjoy it!!!!!! Hope it all works out well for you hun

I would stick to your plans and only invite who you want, I don't want kids at all at our wedding as I believe they would just get in the way. Luckily for us we only know about 5 people with yung kids, and they probably won't come to the wedding anyway as it's too far

That's good - we're both not fussed about them, but the uncle (grandparent to the kids) has been overheard saying 'huh we won't bother going' then!...rude!!

It's difficult to justify some kids over others. H2b has a 4th old so she's coming obv! There'll be 10 kids out of 90 guests, that's enuf for me!! I see ur point, and feel ur pain!!

We may have a similar problem. At the moment it is just h2b's niece & nephew (7 & 10). Some of our friends have lovely well behaved children and some have the spawn of Satan, guaranteed it'll be the spawn that turn up so we have said no kids.
We currently have various people threatening not to come 'cos they can't bring their kids. They wouldn't take their kids on a night out to the pub so why do they think they can automatically bring them to our wedding? I'm the hard one and just say 'well don't come then' H2B is a big softy who wants to please everyone. He wanted to get his mate to bring their son so that niece and nephew had someone to play with!

it's so hard isn't it - I wouldn't be offended if it was me; i'd never miss a friend's wedding because of it. Also I do think making a fuss is being v rude - I would never moan...but some people have a right cheek!