I need some help...

When I announced my engagement my whole group of girlfriends were on the night out so in my excitement they were all like "Bridesmaids!!!!"

But now I have sat down and actually thought about it there is one of my friends in paticular who is just well....a bit of a liability! Put it this way - at one of our friends birthday parties she got so drunk that she didn't even noice much when she fell over into her HUGE birthday cake and ruined the whole thing!! She didnt even apologise!!

And after talking to my chief BM she has agreed with me that having her there would be a bit of a nightmare! So now I am trying to casually get her out of the wedding. But I am worried that I am being too harsh!!

Am I being a bit of a 'zilla by cutting her out?

It's just I know that even if invite her she will get so wasted that SOMETHING will go wrong!

Im having a flap.

Maybe just tell a little white lie and say Money wise you have to be on a tight budget so you can only have so many at the wedding .. we are going to end up upsetting people but we have a very tight budget so are only allowed 40 people through the ceremony and for the meal so there are people we just wont be able to invite as we cant afford it .. so maybe it would would as a good excuse so that you dont hurt her feelings so much
Just a suggestion really but if you know she is defo going to spoil it then its no use you worrying over what she will do if you let her come as it will spoil your day
xxx

If you think she's going to ruin your day then you have to do something, because either she will or you'll spend the whole time worrying she will and it will put a dampner on your day anyway! Its your day, and there aren't many occassions in your life when you can actually be a bit selfish and say, this one day I want to be perfect for me. No one is doing to begrudge you that. A good friend will just support your decision even if they dont like it, because they want you to be happy. And I'm sure there's always a little white lie you can tell to prevent feelings being hurt, or you could just be brutal and say you can only come if you stay completely sober. But you don't want to spend the next 20 months worrying! And if you do something about it now, that's plenty of time to mend fences if need be!

why not choose her to do a reading

hmm...the other thing I forgot to mention is that about a year ago me and h2b nearly broke up because of her lies and it's a very long story but she just didnt care. :(

She is the kind of person who if you sat down and spoke to and asked her to go easy on the drinking she would drink double just to spite you. argh - so annoying!!!

Omg why are you inviting her at all! She didn't care enough that she almost broke you two up and ruined your future happiness, she sounds like an awful mate! Kick her out! She sounds like the kind of person you hire a bouncer to keep out of your wedding, not consider inviting at all! You are much nicer than me if you're still talking to her!

Oh that's a horrible place to be :( I think you will end up worrying about her instead of enjoying your day. She sounds a little self absorbed tbh, is she really a friend if she would drink to spite you? ruin a party and not apologise? or worst of all nearly break you up because of LIES???? Chances are, if you don't invite her then she sounds like she might stop talking to you, might be a blessing in disguise ;) Does your htb want her there? God help anyone that might come between me and my wtb, intentionally or accidently. This is your day, your happiness and you should be surrounded by people that actually care about you as a couple. You are not being out of order. You still have time to distance yourself from her before the wedding you know ;) Tough call, but you need to have a really hard think about it. Or slip her a valium on the day ;) (did I just say that? :o)

My Dad has a 'female friend' that he lives with, she is an alcoholic and although she is nice to me, she is horrible to my other sister and snidey with my mum, who is nothing but polite to her. She gets drunk and embarrasses herself and everyone else. At my sister's wedding she started shouting out drunkenly during the speeches and my Dad was forced to take her away in a taxi before seeing my sister's first dance :( I was so annoyed at him. She is not invited to our wedding and my Dad agreed she would be a liability, we even devised a plan for him to get ready at mine so she would not even kow a wedding had taken place. But when I gave him his invite he told me that he had told her we were getting married and that SHE WAS invited!!! (My Dad likes an easy life unfortunately) I hit the roof and told him that if she finds out the date and turns up then I will be having her removed. She ruined one wedding she aint ruining another.

If you havent said yes, thn there are no problems with telling her that you have other friends which you would like to have as bridesmaids, and maybe put it accross as a money saving thing. But i like the idea of lala 'mod' bunny, if you want her involved but not heavily, ask her to do a reading. Although if she is likely to get so drunk at the reception that she falls into the wedding cake, then maybe she should be an evening guest.

Your not being a bridezilla I would cut her out too Imagine she got so drunk and fell on your 4 tiered wedding cake that you payed a lot of money for I Would go MAD and the fact she didn't even apologize to your friend is just rude Your Big Day you don't need someone there who will ruin your big day and not eve care I Think your doing the right thing ♥ X

Bambi if she was a true friend hun she would of never tried to split you and h2b up, she doesnt take responsibility for her actions and has already ruined someones birthday with out even apologising for it. As some of the ladies said is she really a friend??? and by the sounds of it I dont think she would be that bothered if she wasnt invited she seems a selfish person that only cares about herself. This is urs and ur h2bs big day why should you be stressing that shes goinbg to ruin it and miss out on actually enjoying it. I get wed in mexico but having small do when im back theres friends ive invited and friends I havnt but they were told it was simple because there wasnt enough head space for all of them and if they loved me as a friend they would respect the fact it was only the ones closest to me going and they understood, a few twisted there face because i was getting wed in mexico but told them if they wanted to be there then they had to pay for their flights and that i wasnt stopping them lol hope you get it sorted out hun xx

Let us know how you get on hun if she does make a fuss just stay strong and tell her "well you ruined xxxx birthday by falling into the cake and never apologised" and "you have also told lies trying to break me and h2b up " then just explain that too much has gone into your big day to worry about her becoming drunk and spoiling it and its just not worth the risk her being a liability and not taking responsibility for her actions x

Good luck :) It's tough but important to you! x

Agree with girl-groom there he definitely sounds like a keeper! Lovely and supportive. And also I would consider taking her up on that offer of coming by your wedding after, keep the liability in check! :P

Haha! Girl groom I will definately take u up on that!! Thank you for all ur advice ladies. I think it will be a case of biding my time and waiting for the right moment to mention it!! X

Girl-Groom, I think I need to borrow you for ours too haha & it's not far from you either ;) xx

I'm on it Siany :) x

Hope it works out. Just think though would you want the girl who nearly split you up in your wedding pics as a reminder in twenty years time?