So some of you know about the epi my mil2b caused me, I mean she made me cry then text later telling me i love you but i NEED money i gave for wedding back to pay off my overdraft (bullocks, they're minted overdraft my ar$e!) if you do go ahead with it i will give it back... So 3weeks later she's still not called/ text to apologise for making me cry or being so ucking nosy and interfering, despite oh telling her it upset me- i'm having nothing to to with her until she does, told oh she can shove money where sun aint shining- but her and fil2b ask him to dinner last night (no invite to me) and I'm feeling a bit insecure as when I rang him to see whether he was coming home or staying at their flat in london (closer to his work and he'd been drinking) I got attitude and his snobby phone voice like i was a nobody! and thennnnn i just found a number in his jeans shoved right deep down and I'm scared... like, really??? I never thought I'd be thinking THAT of him, he's just not like that but he's been so blooming off recently and working late (not stupidly late but coming home a few hrs late) and my ex of 3yrs cheated several times before i caught him and got wise and I'm just bloody scared now! He'll come home and refuse to tell me what he and his parents spoke about specially if i came up in conversation (i know him so well) and I can't decide what to do with this number, to call and see who it is (like some jealous possessed nutbag) or just ask him straight out... and if he does lie, i won't know! Please, advice???
Scared now :( xx
CommentAuthorMrs brown - 19/08/12
I would have it out with him (But keep the number) and if you think hes not being honist with you, Text the number and pretend to be him! Then you will know! x
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
eh? y did he go if u wasnt invited??? my h2b wudnt! unless i was at work of course!!!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorFuture mrs mac
I would call it withholding the number and see who answers - then ask him. xx
CommentAuthorJulieW20
I ended up having dinner with my mum and I wouldn't have gone to see her anyway even if i had been invited but i seriously feel like she's out to split us up now. She wanted him to go to hers for a weekend a few weeks ago to 'get away from me' cause I was stressing him out too much...!!! Uh try he was stressing me if someone needed a weekend away it was me, think he's going away and skipping housework when the weekend is the one time he does it i don't think so! You're talking about a man who until this weekend didn't know where the washing machine was (we did move three months ago lol but come on) he thought his stinky underwear washed itself after crawling to the machine and hung itself out, thought our lawn was perfectly manicured and kept looking amazing in its own and the hoover and mop spent the night times dancing away magically like in sleeping beauty! My christ I wanted to kill him! So for her to try to keep splitting us up (even for an evening) when I can't be there to keep her in check over what she says... I'm freaked out! The number was just an added panic... I sleepwalk and occasionally batter him senseless in my sleep and he's been properly off with me for ages so I guess fear of history repeating itself when I discovered that... Becky... wish my h2b had the backbone yours does...
Firstly try not to judge him by an exes standards, Ive dated someone that was cheated on and he was a nightmare. If you do have it out with him, don't bring the ex up, otherwise he has ammo for calling you paranoid.
The number may be something and nothing, Ive found scraps of papers with numbers on loads of times, usually when ive scrawled a number down with the intention of stickign it in my phone (which Im talking on at the time, hence the paper) and forgotten about it. I found an exes number when I moved house with a pile of random crap in a drawer and that's going back about 4 years lol
I'd certainly have it out with him for being arsey on the phone with me, though he could well be getting ear ache off them as wel as you, he's caught in the middle here don't forget
However, if you really think that the number is supicious, especially coupled with the working late, you'd have to be really tactful about how you broach it... which unfortunately, I'm not sure how I'd go about it. If that was a number in Toms pocket, I think I'd just ask. I've had to fish around in there for the car keys more than once, and I'd just be like, just found this, who is it? Don't throw accusations at him, unless he then gives you reason too, but only you know how best to approch him with something like this
Hopefully he's just stressed out and getting a bit grumpy x x x
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Me being a suspicious person given I have been cheated on in the past and also had an ex-bf who promised me he would not longer have contact with his ex but I found out he had kept in contact with her (she was sending him messages telling him they were still meant to be and I should be dumped!!) ...............I personally would withhold your number and call it to see who it belongs to.
That said, do you trust him? What would it do to the relationship if it's nothing and you've shown you don't trust him?
Difficult one to call.
Why did he go to his parents when you weren't invited? Whenever H2B is invited to family I am invited too.
xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorVelcro
Oh yeah, I never thought of actually calling the number, though I'd get someone else to do it, a friend you trust maybe, I wouldn't do an 'unknown' call, people tend to be suspicious of those, rather I'd get someone else to ring (a number you htb isnt likely to know/recognise, just in case)
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorJulieW20
I know i thank you for that velcro, diplomatic and helpful. I don't wanna judge him by exes standards lol ex was AWFUL and his mum was even worse in anycase!
I just have an odd feeling he's always so adamant that he's not the type to cheat but our lovelife hasn't happened in months and you know when you add things up sometimes you do your sums wrong? I'm reeeeeeally hoping that's the case! Gonna do as Mrs brown to be said, keep number and see his response to it... if i don't suspect from his response then fine, if i do I'm doing as future mrs mac said and withheld number calling.
Cloak and dagger bullsh!t, only in my life! Thanks tho girls xxx
CommentAuthormadison_uk
id call it, see who answers then wash his trousers with a piece of plain paper in say sorry I washed your trousers and there was paper in the pocket was it important lol. then see what his response is if he lies then you will have a reason to ask him
CommentAuthorVelcro
Bloody parents of the other halves can be a nightmare. My first serious boyfriends was one of those 'no one is good enough for my son' types, I was disliked before they even knew me, so that was quite a rocky one. It got to a point I wasn't even welcome round the house haha, it can't of just been me, even if I was young and a bit stupid haha. Do you think the relationship with the inlaws is repairable? I'm a stubborn arse and I don't think I'd even want to fix it, especially if all the hostility is coming from her end. I'd just endure her on the very rare occassions I had to. HE needs to know that if you're becoming his wife, then he can't just keep running off to mummys every other weekend for sleepovers, his life is with you, and if she can't tolerate you being there then he has to knock the weekend stop overs on the head completely, and if you're not invited then he can't just keep running off round there to spend all his free time with them when he has a wife at home that needs his time too
Tom doesn't know how to use the washing machine either, before I moved in he'd never even used it, and it's been there for well over a year, I think it went into shock when I started doing regular washes, becuase the damn thing has broken now! I wonder myself sometimes who he thinks keeps the house tidy, he works longer hours than me, but we had it out recenently about housework as there's no way when hes off in the week I am coming home from work to do the effing housework and a pile of pots. Luckily he saw the error of his ways as he's moaned about having to do the pots when hes got in from work (this is what actually caused our 'discussion') I was pretty much just like, oh im sorry IVE LEFT THE POTS FOR ONE DAY...!?
If your gut is giving you that feeling hun, I think you're best off just speaking to him about it and see what comes of it, if you're gunna confront him with the number make sure you make a note of it somewhere just incase he takes the scrap of paper haha
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorLegoWife
I'd be far too curious not to check the number lol.
But I think if he's letting his mum turn him against you then maybe he's just not for you. Sounds like you need to sit down together and talk about what he wants from your relationship and where he see's himself say, a year- five years from now and if you're in it or not! And if you are, why's he been off and what can you do to change it?
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthorTsukijin
edited
Take a copy of the number and hide it. Keep the original.Threaten to Ring it. In front of him. See how he reacts. If he snatches it from you, you have a spare copy to ring when he's out. Find out who it is.
And tear a strip off him for talking to you like an idiot.
Don't get me started on inlaws
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorElle23
sneaky but FABULOUS advice!!! I LOVE it!
Hope it turns out to be nothing for you hun x
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthorKarenB9
Just wondering if you HB2 has a pay as you go phone or if its contract if it's contract check out his bill see how many times he has called that number and a what time its called if he has a pay as you go number go to a phone box and ring the number yourself and i would say Hi is (your hb2 name there) if its a she she will say no you have wrong number you say sorry about that could of sworn this was the number he gave!! do you know a (your hb2 name ) maybee you were out with him at the time we met are you (make up a name she may correct you and tell you her real name which you can use later) she will reply yes or no
its a win win situation if she is trying to have an affair you will have frightened her off a bit because she will now think he is out playing around with lots of women.if its a bloke who answers the phone you can give a sigh of relief. if she gives a name you can question your H2b about it saying one of your friends said that she saw your hb2 out with whatever her name is and go from there.
but that's just me i wouldn't confront hb2 until i had a lot of evidence to back it up because if your wrong it will always come back and bite you later on x
CommentAuthorMrs brown - 19/08/12
Great post KarenB9 :) x
CommentAuthorKarenB9
Thanks Mrs brown to be. just another thought why don't you wait until he is a sleep get his mobile and check his texts and call register. might not work if he has deleted them but could put your mind at ease if your don't want to call the numberx
CommentAuthorMrsLowe
i would proberly just ring the number untill it answers and see if it's a man or women a company etc hmmm also then when h2b is out working late you could get a friend to ring him pretending to get the wrong number etc, when he answers you could maybe ring the number you found to see if there is anyone with him that answers their phone in the background, thats proberly what i would do. x
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
Have you googled the number hun? If it is a company then it will come up on google when you type the number in, and if it isnt a private number it will sometimes tell you who the number belongs to. It is horrible that you have to doubt your h2b but I know if I found a number in my h2b's trousers I would have to find out who it was otherwise I would be paranoid everytime he left the house! Hope you can sort it out soon and it is just something innocent xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorTsukijin
edited
Text it "I've lost all the names in my phonebook who's this again xx"
Hopefully they will say " oh it's tsukijin, who's this?"
You can give your h2b name for an erm...adventure
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
edited
Karen thats a good point, I was once seein a guy while I was in a show and it didnt work out. Months later I got a phone call from a lady who had found my number on her husbands phone bill. No one in the show knew he was married. He had kept it a total secret. Mind you, I wasnt surprised because he had been really, really horrible and it ended really badly between us. He was a really nasty piece of work but I had no idea he was married. He was a scumbag. I am absolutely sure this isnt what has happened with your man though, not trying to make you feel worse I promise, just meaning its a good way to find out. Check his phone bill if you can, if he has only rang it once, its likely to be completely innocent. I hope you sort it out. Ive found numbers on hubbys dresser, they are customers of his that he has to contact (he does repairs in the jewellary shop). They are usually written on business cards of hubbys but I've found them scribbled on bits of paper with just "Mrs Brown - Necklace" written next to it or something like that. Could it be something simple like that? Where does he work?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorPrincess Sarahbelle
h2b wouldnt go to his parents or any of his siblings houses without me he would tell them to wait until i can come
Im now Sarah Marie Ashton
CommentAuthorTsukijin
I would gladly let my h2b go to inlaws without me rather than be subject to a room full of casually racist weirdos that hate me :/
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorPrincess Sarahbelle
my in laws arent the best but they are not the worst his mum is a little selfish and his dad just agrees with her
Im now Sarah Marie Ashton
CommentAuthorMrs S
hmmm i once found 'just a number' im my oh pocket, i rang it, it turned out to be a girl he was 'just talking to' (his sisters mate) we were going through a bad pach anyway but this was the straw that broke the camels back! i confronted him, he left, not to be with her but for other reasons as well as, his sister new nothing about it & she was fuming with them both, it ended their friendship (she basicly told her to stay the F away from her brother) any way we split for a few weeks till he realised what i tit he'd been nearly loosing his family (3year old & 15month old) 10 years later were happily married & iv never had any reason to suspect anything since confrunting him, if id have left it he'd of been off with her, so get the number phoned & find out who it is, then ask him whats giong on, it might be something & it might be nothing but find out now, for your own sanity! good luck xx ooh and the same sister un-invited me to my nephews birthday party - did OH go with out me? yes! off he went with the kids like nothing! needless to say what i think of them all.....xx
CommentAuthorJulieW20
Ok so update, i asked outright and he told me flat out it was a girl- but someone he grew up with and who'd moved to london- there has been talk of him looking into joining a band with her bloke so ok we'll see if that happens but I'm happy with that. He was well offended lol but agreed he could see why I asked. On the other hand, mil2b still hasn't contacted (honestly, she obviously doesn't care about upsetting me so whatever) but he's all don't you dare make me choose.. I'm not, I'm simply trying to get him to see that if it was my mum he'd have gone mad and been right offended cause i mean who speaks to dil2b like that?? Course he's so far up her butt its untrue, I'm not after them not speaking but he doesn't seem to want to admit how bad it was and that she's wrong. My GOD if my mum had spoken to him like it I'd have gone mad. I'd have put her in her place and told her it's none of her damn business! What's more, my mum would have apologised immediatly if she thought for even a second she'd upset someone, even if she felt she was in the right! When is he gonna see he's marrying me and needs to actually support me in stuff like this!!! Gahhhh!!! xx
CommentAuthormadison_uk
glad you found out, but just be aware that just cos he's marrying you he's not going to have a personality transplant he will always be a mummy's boy and that will unlikely change, sorry if that's a bit blunt but you can't change people you have to take them as they are even with the baggage of an annoying mil. Maybe you should take the higher ground and invite her out to lunch to see if you can clear the air though I'm getting the monster inlaw film flashing in my head lol. Thats what I done with mine and its been fine since. good luck
CommentAuthorJulieW20
They live in norfolk lol we live in london. I'm alright we're sposed to go down in a few weeks but dreading it, might boycott it! I'm a total mummys girl but i know my own mind :) I love her like a bestie but occasionally you have times when u go oh ffs you're wrong deal with it lol he doesn't do this however... shame, his dad's so lovely and me and mil2b used to get on soo well :/ xxx
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
I know how you feel to an extent. Hubby is a bit of a mummys boy but he does stand up to her. She still takes him to work most days because he doesnt drive and we work different times so I cant take him. She takes him to work, makes him a packed lunch and picks him up most days! She does it because she wants to and she enjoys driving about but I think the more she does it, the less likely hubby is to get driving lessons.... She is ok though, she has a heart of gold and means well but she is quite overbearing (wants us to take her advice on everything and thinks she knows everything there is to know).
She sent a wee message after we were married saying lots of nice things and said now we are married, she would back off a bit and let us enjoy our marriage. Maybe you should say to H2B, once we are married I am the number 1 woman in your life. Say to him that he has to put your feelings first if his mum will not be nice to you. He should understand that once you're his wife, his mums needs to take a step back
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorTsukijin
Cut the apron strings or she will still be interfering! Don't buy into that "marrying the package" rubbish lol, there's a poem that goes " a son is a son till he FINDS A WIFE but a daughter is yours the rest of your life" your mil needs to read it.
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorMrsShaw
see that sons a song thing i hate. hubbys mum doesnt give a &$%£ about him now hes married and i think its awful!
but i hated the whole 'marrying into the package' i married hubby, no one else! but you do have to try be civil if your h2b is close to his mum or it will drive a wedge between you. me and hubby had various fall outs before the wedding because i'd s&^g his mum and sister off and he hated it...
xx
CommentAuthorTsukijin
I see what you mean mrsshaw, they shouldn't totally stop caring for their son that's awful, but they should stop trying to mollycoddle.
If you both don't feel the same way regarding his mother then mrsshaws advice about being civil is sensible and your best bet as long as he understands that as a husband he should be sticking up for you which is still possible for him to do without disrespecting his mum
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorJulieW20
Thanks so much, I'm just gonna keep back a bit for a while, he can go see them and I'll do my own thing. Starting to see more of my friends again and it's making me realise what I've been missing... Sooo glad we postponed to next year! Time for her to settle back down and me to start feeling excited again. Really appreciate all you ladies advice and stories making me feel a lot better thank you cc
