Please tell me if I am being too sensitive, long list coming up
Sis, cant come on hen do (not really a huge issue there) She has booked her own hairdresser for the morning of the wedding (at 9.45am) despite knowing she is booked with my hairdresser on the day at the venue. My sis is notoriously late for EVERYTHING and has long, very thick hair, chances of her being at the venue with time to spare is minimal. I wanted to get ready with her & little FG's as she is my only adult bm. She has decided how she is having her hair and is sticking to that which would be fine, had she not of chosen what I was hoping to have!
Mum thinks all the above is fine and whats my issue? Mum wants hair & make up trials & has informed she is not going first on the wedding day as she wants to be done last to look her best! She also told me she is not sitting in the ceremony room welcoming guests as she wants to walk down the aisle, alone & being the first one through the doors when everyone seated!
Dad is a whole other story with moaning that he has hardly any family attending (he has a small family & they live in USA or Scotland) out of 9 people invited, only 2 are coming. He now wants extra guests, forgoing people already invited as apart from those 2 guests, him & his GF, it is all mums side (still my family) & H2B & My friends!!!! (Ummmmm It's OUR wedding!!!!)
MIL & SIL are moaning they cant find a dress, when I try to help they just say No NO NO NO NO to all my suggestions so steering clear of them
I will seriously be pleased when this wedding is over with I want to scream "It's our wedding, does anyone care how we feel, what we want?"
Am I being an oversensitive pansy?
What would you do?
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
wow!!!
what time is your ceremony? have you told your sis how you feel? id tell your mum shes mother of the bride not the bride and shes not walking down the aisle id tell your dad to quit moaning and that its your day and its your money (thats if you paying) lastly id leave mil & sil to get on with as they arent your concern
then have a wine n chill!
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
Its your wedding what you say goes and you should go last so your make up last longer and is fresher and its your wedding not your mums wedding remind her of that and you sister tell her find another hairs tlye as you have already chosen that hairstyle YOUR THE BRIDE YOUR BIG DAY NOT THEIRS MAKE IT KNOWN your not being over sensitive at all she can find another hairstyle or you can do what my sil did we had the same hair style but to the other side mine was on the left hers was on the right =D ♥ X
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together
To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
CommentAuthorElle23
Thanks hun Getting married at 1pm but was hoping for professional photos with bridal prep & have my sis in those I have said to Sis I thought it would be nice for us to get ready together, her concern is she will take up too much of hairdressers time on the morning. I have tried to solve this by saying come & see her when she does my trial so she can see how thick your hair is etc & reassure you she can do it.
Mum is saying this is HER shining moment (???????????????) as my sis got married abroad with just her & BIL, me & H2B & mum so she did not get the whole MOB experience! WHAT!!!!!!!!!
Dad I am trying to ignore, yes we are paying for the wedding x
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthorVelcro
re. your sister, have you had a word at all with her? first off id be saying im sorry, but its my day, you cant have the same hair style im planning on having. you have something else. and if you cant get to the venue ontime, don't expect to be late and 'making an entrance'
it's the ONE day we get to have it all about us and we are allowed to be selfish and want it our way. Have you told her you WANT to get ready together, that its part of the experience and you will actually be really upset if you have to get ready onyour own?
''Mum wants hair & make up trials & has informed she is not going first on the wedding day as she wants to be done last to look her best!''
im sorry, but who is the bride???!
''She also told me she is not sitting in the ceremony room welcoming guests as she wants to walk down the aisle, alone & being the first one through the doors when everyone seated!''
And again!! she goes in when you say, who is she to dictate when she walks down the ailse and when she gets her hair and make up done. NO ONE wll be looking at her.
''Dad is a whole other story with moaning that he has hardly any family attending (he has a small family & they live in USA or Scotland) out of 9 people invited, only 2 are coming.''
Its a shame, but not your problem if it doesn't bother you.
''He now wants extra guests, forgoing people already invited as apart from those 2 guests, him & his GF, it is all mums side (still my family) & H2B & My friends!!!! (Ummmmm It's OUR wedding!!!!)''
Just tell him to sod off. its your day not his.
''MIL & SIL are moaning they cant find a dress, when I try to help they just say No NO NO NO NO to all my suggestions so steering clear of them''
just leave them too it.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
edit* Could she not have her own hair/make upstylist to sort her out at your place so you can still get ready together so she's not 'taking up the hairdressers time' ?
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMattsBride
You have the right to be bridezilla! It is your wedding not theirs!
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
Its your wedding not your Mums O well if she didn't get her MOB time I've never heard of that before shes meant to be with the guests greeting them showing her face the main attention should be on you and your H2B Your Wedding I agree with VELCRO =D ♥ X
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together
To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
CommentAuthorMrs Richardson 2B x
The answer is No you are not being a Bridezilla, it's your day not your mothers she doesn't get to walk down the isle because contrary to what she believes it is not HER time to shine it's YOUR'S and she needs to be reminded of that. With regards to your dad, he needs to stop being such a moany drawers, it's not your fault his family live so far away and aren't coming so it shouldn't be up to you to pay for more of his friends to come, he needs to be happy with the family he does have coming. MIL & SIL need to man up, it doesnt matter what they ware as no one will be paying them any attention. I say sit them all down and tell them whats what and how it's stressing you out hun xx
Found my soulmate & bestfriend 23/08/2011
Got engaged 23/08/2012
And I become Mrs Richardson 11/10/2017
CRAZY EXCITED!!!!!xx
CommentAuthorAna40
I dont think your being a bridezilla as you havnt actually done anything about it. i think its best to nip things in the bud and sort them out so you can carry on and enjoy yourself. so if it was me id probably speak to my family sooner rather then later and just let them know how i feel. i hope it gets sorted. X
CommentAuthorElle23
Thank you all so much
Im feeling so frustrated as when I have tried to broach the subject, mum looks at me as if I have 10 heads and as if I am making a mountain out of a molehill so it gets me wondering if I am over-reacting
Im currently sat here in tears and wishing we had planned things differently I know it will be worth it eventually and on the day I wont care but I am supposed to enjoy the build up to my day but I am hating it.
These are just the few things going on at the moment. If I were to type about all the other stuff, I would be here all night!
Thank you all for reassuring me they are all being selfish!
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthorAna40
If its upsetting you that much then maybe you should say something about it to them. and let them know how much its stressing you. X
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
awwww hun were all need if u need to chat x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorbex
OMG no wander ur sis got married abroad, u poor thing!!!!!!!
marrying the man of my dreams
we have 2 perfect children together
the day i become mrs clifford can't come quick enough
26/08/2013 :-)
CommentAuthorangel830609
I think your mum is lucky cause if she were my mum she'd have had an earful by now, as for your sister it's sweet she's thinking of taking up too much time but tell her she has to be their with you if that's what you want and she has to pick another hair style, in regards to your dad and in-laws ignore them they're being idiots, sorry if I sound like i'm ranting but these people need to remember it's your day not there's, good luck sweet heart xx
it's been a long hard road, but hopefully we're getting
somewhere :) xx
CommentAuthorFinally Susan B
No - they are being unreasonable! How about if sister has trial when you do? and your hairdresser does her a variation of yours but not same? If she's late for everything I'd want her with me even more so - she can't be late then... but explain to her you really want to get ready with her and not on your own.
Mother - jeez! Tell her you need her to shine as MOB - Playing MOB role - which means being in there, welcoming, chatting, directing anyone - point out walking down the aisle is actually bride & BM role! pfft
Dad thing is possibly a jealousy of mum's family/ importance - she has more family there than him so is obviously more important! Explain it isnt a case of each side having an allocated amount. Shame you have all this to deal with instead of just feeling excited and finalising your plans x
CommentAuthorKatya
Bex!!!!
I think you should speak with your h2b, see if theres anything bothering him also. Once you have explained to him what is bothering you and vise versa then you could speak with your side of the family and lay down the law.....
The best way to do this is to create a timetable along with details of where everyone is and at what times. Make sure that you have MOB, FOB, MOG & FOG making a "receiving line" at the ceremony... THIS is their "moment". Then you could have FOB escort MOB down the ailse, followed by MOG escorted by FOG. This is the TRADITIONAL way and still allows them their "moment" (I did read that MOB & FOB are no longer together, but this is YOUR day & they should suck it up and be civil for your sake!
Also at this point MOB needs to have her hair done FIRST so that her hair is the best it can be for HER MOMENT (her moment as above)
Regarding your sister..... Make sure the timetable states 15minutes before she is actually needed to be in your room, to have her hair done by her own hairdresser 5 minutes after her "set arrival time" (10 mins before actually needing to be there). This allows her to be "15 minutes late" but in actual fact will be "on time". State that Prep shots will be taken at this time.
With this timetable set up, give a copy to all involved (MOB, FOB, MOG, FOG, MOH/Sis etc).
Sit down with your family & go through the timetable WITH H2B, this way H2B can back you up. Then sit down with his family & go through it with them. Don't take "NO" for an answer! "This is the way the day will run, otherwise I'm sorry that you will not be attending OUR day".
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
Firstly, is your sister paying to have her own hair done? Maybe the other hairdresser could come to where you're getting ready. It might be good for you to have the same hairstyle. My SIL had all her BMs matching her. As for your mum, just stick with etiquette. Your mother should arrive at the church with the bridesmaids, and be escorted to her seat by an usher once all other guests are seated, just before the procession. As for her hair, you may just have to remind her who the bride is.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorElle23
You are all so bloody lovely!
Believe it or not, I am quite a feisty, organised, non-pushover kind of person but I just feel out numbered by all of this! My mum & my sis are stronger characters than I am so worried about explosions I think. Either that or I will probably just cry!
How about one of you comes & does it for me! Ha ha aha Katya, loving the whole schedule thing!
Will speak with H2B and go from there. Thank you all for taking the time to comment & making me feel NORMAL!
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
No you are not being a bridezilla. I have not yet booked my venue and already had fights with my mum and siter who feel the need to keep butting in lol.
I agree with what everyone else has said so remember that it is your wedding so please do tell everyone else to to get stuffed and do things your way.
good luck with everything xxx
CommentAuthorKatya
Elle23 - your not all that far from me! unfortunetly tho i dont drive except as provisional (& last time i was in your area the car through a hissy fit and spat the ht lead off for me so i couldnt get her started and took an hour to find the problem!)
though if you wanna pay the train/bus fairs from near hunts for me & my kids (or come get us) i would happily nudge you in the ribs til you told them where to go lol
Bex!!!!
