Wedding Forum - All my hard work down the drain!...

I havnt been on for a while due to things being rocky for a while but its all come to a head and the relationship is off.

We had an argument a few months ago where I said that if I didn't get more jiggy jiggy I was going to get some elsewhere. As an unmarried young woman once a month when I initiate it is not enough. He said fine maybe then you will leave me alone.I went away for the weekend with my friends and got ridiculously drunk and thought duck it he told me too so I will.

I had had many a word with him about his neglecting me (i have had a tough past and need lots of hugs and kisses otherwise I start to feel unloved) and the last time he actually made an effort to spend any quality time with me is my birthday in august. Since then he has either been at work or on his computer. He started working 12 hour night shifts on minimum wage instead of trying to find a better paid job.

Last Friday we had another argument where he said he couldn't deal with the fact that I abused his trust and slept with someone else. Hello you told me to. Now he said I obviously don't know him enough to know when he is joking. Even though it took him until last weekend to tell me why he hates birthdays and Xmas when I have been asking for almost 18 months. Anyway Friday after the argument he he said he didn't want to sleep beside me anymore so I told him he knows where the spare room is. His response was get out of the ducking bed 'female dog' before I ducking hit you.

Therefore I will be leaving for a while but will be sure to return when I find a man who is worthy of me and understands and trust me.

I am trying to sell my wedding things at work as It's free but anything I have left will be going on ebay via my sister - berrysmoothieamanda.

Good luck everyone.

=O

I hope you find the one you are looking for soon. So sorryto hear about all of this. Good luck. Hugs. Stay strong.

X

I'm sorry but you cheated and yet you question why he doesnt trust you. You had your reasons and i hope you find the one soon x

Hails i agree with you but thought id keep stum lol my other half works between 10 and 18 hours a day 7 days a week and we always have the never enough time row but i would never go elsewhere!!x

Oh dear
Not nice to be threatened
Can see both sides of the sotry but it seems he pushed & pushed you away until he had pushed too far.

Sorry it took this for you to talk properly about everything and that you will not be around for a while
No-one deserves to be threatened the way he threatened you though, that is not on!

Wish you all the best x

Hails and Georgie. H2B and I are in the same position, his job means he works extended shifts and nights and when something like the riots last summer kicks off I won't see him for days or like the Olympics, we hardly got any quality time together for 3 months, we're like ships passing in the night.

That said, I think the issue here from reading what she said was that she felt unloved, neglected and ignored, even when he was home .................not condoning the cheating bit as I'd never do that, I'd just walk away from the relationship if I felt that stongly about the way I was being treated, however, I can understand she had her reasons and I think if she didn't do it now, sounds like the relationship may have broken up at some point so better it happened now rather than after they got hitched. I get the impression that there wasn't much love coming from her H2B or if there was it just was not enough and in the end it just was not meant to be.

I just hope that in the future she can find someone who gives her the attention she needs and where the love is there flowing from both parties and she does not feel she could ever sleep with someone else.
xx

He cheated too its just that I was adult enough to admit to it instead of getting an sti and blaming it on the new cream he had been using for 3 weeks already.

If he had had a job that meant he was away from me for months at a time I would of been fine with it. Just the fact I moaned I never saw him when he worked nights for minimum wage and pointed out there was day jobs for more money doing the exact same job (he is an agency worker) so we could spend more time together and have money to go out occasionly he just started working 12 hour nights instead.

god first off im sorry!!

next im also sorry incase this comes across harsh!! but cheating i think there both better off without eachother and working in a less paid job im sorry me and h2b will do anything im working 8 hour nightshifts and hes working all day as i thought whats it important is enjoying the nice things in life!! :-(

if my h2b said im guna go and cheat id laugh n be like yeah alright go on then betrayed his trust a relationship is worth working at its a shame they way u worked at it was working with someone else i hope u both find what ur looking for! and for him 2 use threatening words 2wards u is stupid!!

Good luck xx

I think the fact U have both cheated shows that neither of U were ready for marriage or with right people.

The fact he threatened you isn't nice but like lots on here just because U dont get enough doesn't gove U the right to cheat, id love more but it dont happen however many times I mention it but I love my h2b and would never think of cheating even if he told me to, im his and his only.

I do hope U can find happy ever after x x

Ok well that's new info (him cheating as well)
In that case it still doesn't give you the go ahead to do it back!
Personally I think there is alot wrong with your relationship for him to cheat in the first place and for you to take him seriously to do it back rings alarm bells to me!

I think the end of this relationship is the best thing hunni
And now hopefully you can find someone who you will be able to get what you want from without them or you going elsewhere for!

The best of luck for the future

To me this doesn't sound like it was a happy relationship anyway.

The fact that you actually discussed your intention to cheat if you didnt get what you want (more affection), just shows that the relationship was kind of difficult and messed up. You say he gained an sti that he blamed on cream as he had been cheating too, he never showed enough affection. If you were feeling so unloved you should have walked away there and then instead of degrading yourself and cheating also. What you've done there is given someone who's obviously having problems with you ammo to turn it round and make it all your fault (seeing as by the sounds of it he's denied ever cheating).

I guess you will both have learnt a hard lesson from all this and when you do finally meet the man for you hopefully you will have learned from your mistakes here. And hopefully your ex-h2b will too

I think neither should have cheated at all. If anyone is even contemplating cheating it is always better to end the relationship or try to resolve the issues before someone cheats. He shouldnt have cheated.... but neither should you. It sounds like both of you are best out of this one so maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I also hope both of you learn your lessons for the future and never put another partner in the same situation.

I also think you may need some counselling about feeling unloved etc although to be honest I sometimes felt like that but then I met someone else and jut realised that before I was with complete and utter divvies. You dont need s*x to feel loved and this is something you need to get help with otherwise this may continue to happen to you in the future.
I hope everything sorts itself out.

ooohhhh hun you cheated and thats a HUGE no no and you wonder why hes mad?! if you werent happy you should have talked first and either agreed to carry on your relationship and make more effort or split then....
hope you find someone who youll love and respect and get it in return...s£x isnt the be all and end all of a relationship...

My h2b works 24/7 shifts with his main job and then any spare time working in the reserves. I barely see him and I don't like it. But my h2b loves the reserves and the extra money is for us. It's his choice and I won't get in the way of it.

Regardless of this I would not cheat on him. No matter how abandoned / lonely I feel.

It seems to be for the best that the pair of you have split up. I hope you can both heal and move on.

Sorry to see your relationship has ended in this way, it's never nice when things come to an unpleasant end. As a few of the other girls stated though it sounds like you are probably better off apart so try and focus on the positives and have a fresh start away from him. xx

Cupcake_katie - Despite the not so great circumstances of the ending of your relationship, and yes there is definitely blame that can be passed back and forth onto each side my thoughts are with you hun (and tbh him also). Regardless of it all, it sounds as though neither of you were at a point where you were able to be with each or give each what you needed specifically.

Sending you lots of luvs.

I think the title of thus thread 'all my hard work down the drain' suggests that you are more upset that the wedding is off than the fact that you split up from this man.

To be quite honest it is usually women wanting more than men but society tells us otherwise. Women equate love with s3x whereas men tend to differentiate the two. All sorts of factors can decrease a man's libido and working 12 hour shifts is certainly enough.

I don't think you have found the one hun because you would be heart broken about losing him rather than your hard work being for nothing. When you do find the one you wouldn't dream of cheating just because you weren't getting any, whether or not you were 'permitted' to so.

I hope you do find someone special and when you do please don't throw it away!

Katie is that you on your last comment? It seems a strange comment

hmmm... looks like someone else has access to the account.

I'm sorry to hear the wedding is off but can't help to agree with the other girls.. seems like a blessing in disguise really. If you really wanted to marry each other neither of u would have cheated. Pretty baffling tks me that he told u do to it so u did.. strange relationship! Good luck for the future x

I think it was someone commenting as if it was you hub. I would consider changing your password. Maybe that counsellor was just rubbish.

Hope you manage to sort things out and can move forward x

i agree with everyone i hope that you find someone that you can be happy with and it will all work out, plus am glad you feel better!!

just by the by though i get styes sometimes and they just come up with no warning it isnt really anything to do with other people.

still good luck and hugs xxx