I've been debating sharing this one for a while and although we have made some decision, I'm still worried about things kicking off.
My aunts partner (female) has been in my family as long as I can remember. She is an alcoholic and the whole family on that side know. When we last saw her for a meal, a bottle of wine was ordered for the table and she spend a lot of time refilling my half full glass so she could refill her empty one. This made me very uncomfortable.
We have 2 options for each course so guests are picking what they want when they rsvp. Because of this situation (and partly due to not wanting to pay for people to get "utterly gazeboed" on free table wine) we have decided to ask people to choose a drink to go with their meal either red or white wine, bottled ale or lager, or soft drink. Most people we've explained this to (without saying the exact reasons) seem fine with it but I don't think it has been communicated to my aunts. The invites have already been printed so this decision won't change.
I'm just worried that even with this precaution she will still be a nightmare. None of the family want to sit next to her or really on the same table and me and OH have even debated having family tables at the back of the room and friends nearer the top table because of this. But then this puts people like my Grandad and his Nan away from us when they are some of the most important people to share our day with.
I just wanted your thoughts on what we have done so far and what else could be done. Sorry for the long post x
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I think it is fair enough and to be honest you don't even have to do that.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorJordanG99
I think if you're limiting it to one drink or making guests choose a drink, you're handling the problem without everyone else going without. If your aunts ask you about it, maybe tell a white lie and say that it's due to costs? The only other thing I could suggest is talking to your Aunt about it? I also have an alcoholic in the family so I know all too well how you're feeling. Unfortunately though, no matter what you do, if they want a drink, they'll have one :( Try not to let the worry and stress ruin your special day though and hopefully she'll be on best behaviour as it's such an important day! x
CommentAuthorprincesspixie
im glad someone has asked about this my OH's sister is an alcoholic and every time she's drunk she's abusive and offensive to anyone and everyone (most recently her own little brother and dad causing them to disown her) we debated not inviting her at all but in the last few months she seems to be getting back to her normal self (she goes through stages of drinking constantly and then being sober for a few months) we also thought about having someone on stand by to throw her out if she does start to cause trouble but we never thought about who to sit her with so you've definitely given me something to mull over hope you find a solution that suits everyone and if you do please share :) xx
Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
Big wedding 18/06/2016
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
Its a really tough place to be because we don't want to make a big deal of it, but then if she makes a scene on our special day then it is an issue. Then again I think my family would be so embarrassed and ask her to leave pretty quick. She's not necessarily aggressive but just isn't pleasant to be around. Princesspixie, this is why we came up with the idea of everyone picking one drink to have with their meal. It limits anyone going over the top until the evening when I will hopefully be passed caring and then people can pay for it themselves rather than us. I'm sorry you're in a similar situation. X
I was also worried about a particular guest who once she's had a couple of glasses of wine she is unpredictable, volatile and well let's put it this way, she has been banned from many a pub. Luckily on the day she was okay and behaved herself.
Could you brief a couple of family members or the ushers, people you trust to be able to deal with a situation if she shows herself up so that it can be dealt with quickly and as discreetly as possible. Just remember on the day she is someone else's problem, everyone will want to be there to make sure you have a smooth and stress free day x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I'd agree with InDreamland, pick someone you can rely on to keep an eye out and be ready to deal with any difficult behaviour. Unfortunately you can't prevent her from drinking if she hasn't made the decision to get her drinking under control.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
