Hi everyone

I had a bit of an issue with my venue last week which has left me really down so would like your opinion if I can please!

We booked and paid our deposit towards the back end of last year. We booked to have the ceremony in their restautant room which overlooks the gardens and then our reception in a big function room which looks like a gorgeous converted barn. The wedding co-ordinator phoned me last Thursday and said to me "I'm just ringing to let you know that we now have the restaurant free all day if you're interested" so I said no thank you, we'd like to keep our arrangements as we'd booked them because the barn had sold it for us. She then advised that they'd had an enquiry from a "substantially larger wedding" who also wanted the same day so would we mind having the smaller room. I said we didn't want to do this, otherwise we'd have booked the restaurant room all day if we'd wanted it. Anyway, she's arranged this other wedding for the day after but it's really put me on a downer because it feels like our wedding doesn't matter to them - they just wanted to shove us in a smaller room to make room for a bigger party and get more money. I'm also worried that this other wedding party will book up all the rooms on the day of our wedding because they'll probably want to stay the night before their wedding - there's only 23 bedrooms so not much room for both parties! It's not until September next year so obviously we haven't sent our invites out yet so our guests don't know to book!

I just really feel like seeing if we can get our deposit back (if we can!) and going elsewhere. She's really tainted it for me now and I really don't feel like having my wedding there anymore.
Anyway, sorry... rant over! Just wanted to know what others would do in this situation?

awww im really sorry huni ur feeling like that u sud let ur guests know so if they want to book rooms they can.... n also when the contract is written its usually a non refundable deposit.... its a harsh business the wedding as to any bride its the most important day the organiser will put time n effort into ur wedding as thats what they should do if she doesnt do that then shes rubbish at her job but at the same time they r gonna book as many weddings as poss to make money thats all what they want but like i said if shes good at her job u will still be treated 100% and ur wedding will be brilliant... dnt let that person ruin ur dreams of ur day u sud ring her n ask her how the rooms are meant to be as it was first come first serve n u booked ur wedding first.... i hope u sort it and have a magical day xx

what a B****!!!!! i would have told her exactly what i thought of her!!! tbh if she was a "professional" wedding planner/ organiser theres no way on earth she would had the gall to call you and ask that question!!!!! i feel for you........

I feel for you i really do, as i had the same thing happen. our wedding is small and when we first booked it was OK, but then she started moving and changing things and made us feel like our wedding wasnt good enough because it wasnt big enough.....(24 people)
It might not be big, but its going to be great. but i couldnt get over how she made me feel, so we booked somewhere else.
this was only last week so I have yet to ask for my deposit back. even if i didnt get my money back, i am not happy to give her another penny.
I never would have been happy there because of how she made us feel. saying we had to have our ceremony at 2pm and be eating by 3pm so she can have us out of the dining room by 5.30 to get it ready for her evening hotel guests. rushing us out and finishing our wedding after just 3.5 hours.

I say go with your gut feeling, and if you know you wont be happy, move it now and move on. let them know they cant treat customers like that/

really sorry about what has happened, shes not very good then with her customer service if she made u feel like that. id go down and say that your no happy and that you either want your deposit back or you want to deal with someone else or speak to a manager, no one has the right to make you feel like that, at the end of the day shes there to make you feel welcome and represent the company not make you feel doubtful and the way you do...x

If you really liked the venue you should stick with it. You won't even notice this snooty woman on your day! About the hotel though, if you know the guests who will be wanting rooms, like, parents and bridesmaids, get in touch and book as many rooms in advance as possible. We're putting the option of rooms in our invite, and getting people to book through us.

good luck to both of us Linzippie.........
we didnt sign a contract either because she 'never got round to it' ! so i am hoping thats the thing that will help us get our £200 back.
I was feeling really stupid, and H2B was not happy to be moving the venue, and i felt that he was mad at ME, because i am so indecisive, but today i feel a million percent justified in the decision. on the hotels website it clearly states in these exact words... ''To complete your perfect day, we offer a complimentary overnight stay for the bride and groom in one of our romantic bedrooms.'

and yet i found an email with a rough working out from her, charging us £200 for it AND an extra £100 for a room for 2 hours for me and the bridesmaids to get ready in, as she didnt want us using 'our room' ....no because she could charge us for 2 instead of one thats why! I knew she was trying to add stuff on here and there, and told H2B this but i think he just thought i wanted to swap for the sake of swapping, , but only today did i find the proof and he is now happy we have swapped. I think I can use this to get my refund back, stating on the website its free then charging us. OK she might mean that a large wedding we would get a free room, but the website doesnt state a size at all.
I am really happy that we have done something about it now, rather than later, and had to pay all kinds of hidden charges.
And i'll tell you summat else, it was the girls on here who suggested i do something about it,soooo.....Thanks Girls for the advice. XXX

Good luck linzipple... have you got an alternative venue in mind if you are able to cancel and get the deposit back?........

all they care about is money but hey u stuck by ur guns and u got wat u want just enjoy it now :) x

any luck linzipple? It really gets you down doesnt it? I hope H2B will take over and help sort this out for you.
Save all the emails so that if it came to small claims court you can show how unprofessional she was towards you, its all good ammunition against her.

Yes, I am much happier with my new venue, theres just one tiny problem, their rooms are fully booked so we cant stay over, but I have a cunning plan. If we dont get our deposit back from the original hotel, (its only walking distance from the new hotel) we have paid £200 deposit, and thats exactly the cost of their honeymoon suite.. so as we havent got a room at our new venue, we DO have one booked there, and they also have our £200. I would maybe prefer to get my £200 back and either stay somewhere else or go home rather than face her, but this is a way of not only getting a really nice room for the night, and not being robbed of that money.

BUMP

I really want some impartial advice please. If the same thing had happened to you, would you feel a bit upset about it, like your wedding isn't really important to them and they don't mind pushing you to one side to make way for a better offer?

We've tried to raise our concerns with them about this possibly cropping up again in the future if someone else enquires about our date again. And we also mentioned that we're worried that they keep asking us to confirm which rooms we've booked when we've done this on at least 5 or 6 different occasions. A wedding is a big deal and we want to be confident that the organising of our wedding is in good hands. Since we told them that we're worried, they've been extremely unhelpful and dismissive. They sent us a really snotty email yesterday, ignoring all of our questions and then told us that we are making a mountain out of a molehill and basically calling us childish.

I'd just like to know if anyone else thinks we're "making a mountain out of a molehill" or if we're right in feeling a little bit concerned?

They keep asking what the original booking was! They're clueless

I don't think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. I'd feel exactly how you are feeling. I think the way you have been treated is plain awful and I'd have no faith in them either. Hope you can get your money back and find somewhere even more lovely Hx

I would go get advice from citezans advice, and take them to a small claims court. And i think you have a good chance of winning considering no contract was signed. good luck

let me get this straight! cos am a bit confused, she rang to ask i u wanted the restaurant, u said no so nothins changed???

if thats rite in wat am thinkin then sorry hun she was only askin as they are a buisness and wanna make money, now if she wud of said u gotta do it then yes i wud feel bad etc but seen as she aint said that then i dont see a problem, sorry

u shdu have it in writtin for sure, u got a recipet that u paid the money though?

Thanks for your advice everyone. Part of me feels like we should just back down now and carry on, but if they can't remember our booking then how can I have fath in them getting our big day right. A wedding is a big deal and I need to be able to trust them but I can't!!

I wouldn't mind so much, but all we keep saying to them is... what happens if someone else enquires about our day again - will they do this to us again? But they ignore us completely and continue to ask us to confirm the rooms when we've already done it countless times! Really losing my patience but they've said the deposit is non-refundable so what can we do!! Grrr!

My mum paid our deposit - I think it was by debit card.

I phoned CAB and they said there isn't a clause or anything we can quote to get it back... even though we haven't signed a contract yet, apparently by paying the deposit we entered into a contract.

I'd like to go see the venue again and see how I feel I think. At the moment, I feel like I'd only be keeping the wedding there because I have to, which isn't really the best way to be feeling about your wedding venue is it! lol

Hi RaggedyAnne

Yes, that was my suggestion but H2B doesn't want anything more to do with them. I don't see how we can come out of this winning though so I think we should do the bare minimum there and then like you said, tell a few porkies and have the reception somewhere else! You have a point aswell, there is nowhere that states you must have your reception there. So if they refuse our booking then in effect it's them cancelling!

Have you tried to get your deposit back yet, or are you just going to book a room at your old venue instead?

If H2B agrees then we will just have the ceremony there. Unfortunately we can't afford to just walk away, especially when the deposit was paid by my mum and dad - I'm not losing their money.

Would be nice if everything went smoothly just for once. Never does though!!

If ours was £200 then I'd be more tempted. I hope you get it back though RaggedyAnne. It's not fair that they should get to hang onto it when they've upset you!

I'm tempted to get a friend to ring our venue and pretend they've got a very large wedding and ask about dates near ours. I'd be intrigued to hear what they say about our date!

They got the letter I sent this morning, and I came home from work to an email from her, and she is happy to refund my £200 and the cheque is in the post she said......YAY!
She said she was sorry to lose us and that she wouldnt be able to share our wedding day, but I doubt that very much.
But I was OK losing it.....well not OK....but was prepared to lose it so that I got my dream venue and got away from her. I look on getting it back a big bonus, It will now pay for the toast and welcome drinks......as thats almost £200.....

Keep at her linzipple, maybe you will wear her down! good luck, I wish I could help.

I work at a 4* hotel which does over 150 weddings a year (including mine this year!!!) and if a B&G had sent off a deposit for a wedding but not the signed contract, then decided that the venue wasn't right for them, then we would have to refund the payment, as there is no legally binding contract. Whether you had paid the deposit or not!

What kind of venue asks a bride to move rooms because they have a 'bigger booking' - this has really infuriated me so god only knows how you and h2b feel!!!!!

I hope you manage to work things out! I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling.

xxx

Yeah I am, but reading her email made me feel a real b1tch....she sounded so nice, but then if she had been this noce in the first place I never would have cancelled.
The money will come in handy, because I was really expecting to lose it, so to know I am getting it back is like 'extra money'..
As you know our wedding is small, (24) so this £200 will pay for the toast and the welcome drinks £150, AND its pays for the extra course I added to the menu....Sorbet at £2 per head £48......equals £200.

I am chuffed to bits.....

Now Lets hope linzipple is lucky with her venue.....fingers crossed.

I found it better to put it in writing, makes it more offical than a phone call or email.
I pointed out why WE were not happy, and outlined the things I felt were wrong with the booking, things they had done wrong or changed. and for that reason I felt it necessary to cancel. and as no contract was signed , so nothing was set in stone, I will be expecting the deposit of £200 to be refunded please.
short and straight to the point, not ASKING for the refund but telling them that was the expectation because of the way things had turned sour, and that I no longer felt my wedding was in the best hands because of what had been changed. I put the onus on them.

OK it might not have worked everywhere, but it worked for me.