Wedding Forum - Advice needed please!

Wedding Forum - Advice needed please!...

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In-laws !: Advice needed please!

1 to 13 of 13

- CommentAuthorlisaw
Hi,

Just wondered what peoples opinion on this, It is tradition for my family to sing amazing grace at weddings and funerals and I love the song and have wanted it at my wedding since I can remember. My MIL2b has said she doesn't want this sung as they sing it at funerals. She lost her daughter 27 years ago and said she doesnt like to hear the song. I have said we will sing another song, but I would like it if we walked out to it with an instrumental version. She has still said no. This songs very important to me and my family especially since my grandad passed away 2 weeks ago, and I would like it so its a way of him being there as the weddings close. We have already had to change the flowers because she refuses to have white rose on her jacket and I just think I will regret it if I dont stand my ground, but how do I do it as she says it reminds her of the daughter she lost. Will i be a total cow for trying to squeeze this song somewhere into the day?
Thanks all xx
- CommentAuthorsbride
Hmmmmm, its a tough one. Maybe she could leave the room before the song is played so she doesnt hear it? I can relate to it as If I hear a song that was played at my grandad's funeral I get very emotional. But then, its important to you so she has to understand that.

I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
- CommentAuthorcharlottelee
Its something that is important to you and your family i wouldnt change it especially as you lost your grandad so recently. Obviously loosing a child is hard but having reminders is sometimes good. Guessing you have tried to explain to her. Has H2B tried explaining on your behalf how important it is yto you to have that memory of your grandad in your day

Going to become Mrs Stockman
Got engaged on 26th April 2011
Getting married 19th May 2012
- CommentAuthorJane
by doing the amazing grace song would that not allow your grandad and her daughter to still be apart of you big day? maybe you can put it to you mil2b theres a poem that can be said in memory of guest passed away as well,

yay soon 2 be Lady Jane Bradbury
- CommentAuthormadison_uk
she lost her daughter 27 years ago, i know its sad but that was a long time ago i would have it as it has extra meaning to your family, and as you have said shes already made you change your flowers, just tell her that your having the song if she feels she cant listen to it then feel free to leave and come back after its finished, think the important thing is that its your wedding day not hers so stick your ground is it just his mum that has the problem with the song

- CommentAuthorlisaw
No he hasnt, when it comes to his mum what she says goes, and I agree losing a child is horrendous, but weddings is about both families, not just hers. All my h2b has said is he will talk to her. I dont want to start any rifts with it only being just over a month away, but Ive agreed not to sing it so she doesnt get upset and I think walking out would be appropriate as she doesnt have to listen to it if she doesnt want to. I just dont want to seem disrespectful. She isnt the type to forgive and forget easily!
- CommentAuthorIgnition
No you won't be a cow, it's fair enough she lost a daughter, but it's your day, and I think the compromise of the instrumental version, is fair enough. So tell her straight it's your day and you want to walk out to that song and just go for it. xx

Can't wait to be Mrs Mansfield
Having a Fun Fair Reception
It's going To Be Awesome
Roll On The 15th September 2012
- CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
um .... maybe it it nothing to do with her , i am having a piece of music called the destiny waltz as my enterance and exit music this was written by my great grandfather and was last played at a family occasion 11yrs agao at the funeral of my grandmother

you need to stick to your guns hun ... dont discuss it with her anymore and just have it played

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- CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
and as to the point of losing a child my eldest sister died 46 years ago and we will be haveing a piece for her to so that she is part of the day

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- CommentAuthorlisaw
Thankyou so much for your advice, I will sit down and have a chat with h2b tonight and tell him that I want this song its our big day and it should be about what we want. I just didnt know if I was being unreasonable but thankyou, as you all seem to be on my wavelength! xx
- CommentAuthorIgnition
It's not unreasonable, it's special to you. So you should be able to have the music you want on YOUR day. xx

Can't wait to be Mrs Mansfield
Having a Fun Fair Reception
It's going To Be Awesome
Roll On The 15th September 2012
- CommentAuthorFoxySaurus
Hope it all works out for you!
Changes little things like that can be a big deal for the person they have meaning to x
- CommentAuthorkimmy
No not at all hun it's your day!!!

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