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Wedding Forum - ADVICE? How long to hold wedding dress for...

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  1.  
    • xbeckix88
      CommentAuthorxbeckix88
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    How long is too long to wait when it comes to holding an item back for a potential buyer?

    Back in may I had a lady message me asking about my dress and how she loved it but didn't have the money for it, but would I let her pay a £100 deposit for now to secure it and she could pay the following month....

    That was over 5 months ago!!

    After not hearing anything I text the lady who had money problems so now couldn't pay up for another few weeks, these passed and again she couldn't pay the full amount but offered to pay in instalments over the coming weeks ... Still nothing.
    Each time there has been a reason why she couldn't pay from paypal not working, to the persons paypal shes using being on holiday, to then saying she lost all her numbers.

    I have re-text her and sent her a paypal invoice for £100 as she can only manage that a week to pay it off and she said she cant pay till Tuesday .... I just feel like ive been here before! Shes said ill pay you on this date etc and then that days come and gone and another excuse.

    She could generally be having money issues and I feel bad.

    I did say around 2 months ago that basically I needed payment soon as A: I stated I wanted a quick sale as my dress fills my whole wardrobe and I just don't have the room and B: it has been months.
    To which she did apologise and said she would pay me on a certain date .. but that came & went with no payment.

    Where do I draw the line as its getting silly now???
  2.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'd give her a final date for payment and say if you don't get it then you'll refund her the 100 quid and sell your dress to someone else x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  3.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'd say another 2 weeks.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  4.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    you draw it now ......

    i would send a message saying that unless she pays the fall amount by the end of the month you will have no choice but to put it back up for sale as it has now been 5 months since she said she wanted the dress.

  5.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think I would give her one more chance (not like she needs it but hey) and tell her if she doesn't pay £100 by X date then youll put it up for sale again, but make it clear if she pays this 100 but does not continue installments then she won't get her desposit back and put it up for resale anyway. Then that way she's got the choice of being honest and saying she can't afford it if she could pay 100 then lose it anyway, or just not paying anything and letting you continue with a new buyer... If that makes sense?

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  6.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    She shall just keep going on at it if yOU don't put a stop to it now. Tell her you've waited long enough, you understand she has money troubles, but you rid of the dress and need the money yourself, give her a date, say end of the week, if not paid, you'll refund the £100 deposit and will be selling it on elsewhere.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  7.  
    • MrsThomson2B
      CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    tell her the deposit is non-refundable she can either pay for the dress and get it or she can not pay and you sell to someone else and she can lose her money and the dress xx
  8.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    if she can't even get the money to pay you in the instalments how is she paying for a wedding full stop! she is giving you the run around i would draw then line now or give her 7 days from when you next message her and say I'm sorry but i need to put it back up for sale
    xx

    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  9.  
    • KimberleyR78
      CommentAuthorKimberleyR78
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 18th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree with everyone above. Give her a deadline for the FULL amount - end of the month as the absolute maximum. Tell her if she doesn't pay up by then, refund the original £100 and put it up for sale again.
    If she really wants the dress, she will pay up. No more excuses
  10.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 19th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    If the first £100 was a deposit then surely that's non refundable as she's messed you around so much?!
    I would give her a week as an ultimatum and then say you're reselling it without a refund to her as the longer you don't sell it the more it may go out of date for what ppl are looking for ... Sounds like a mound of excuses x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  11.  
    • xbeckix88
      CommentAuthorxbeckix88
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks for all the replies!!

    Well surprise surprise Tuesday has been and gone and no money has arrived in my paypal account and ive received no text.

    *KelBel* that's what I thought, she paids the £100 to secure the dress so id remove it from several preloved sites and Bay of E (which I still had to pay the full listing prices for even though I wanted to remove them) surely as she never paid up the following month she looses that deposit? x
  12.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    if you've lost money because of her messing you around then you can keep the amount that you have lost (if she decided to take you to a claims court you would need the proof that you were out of pocket because of her) but i wouldn't refund it until she contacts you tbh and when she does i would ask her why she has messed you about but if she doesn't contact you which she probably won't out of shame for messing you around just keep the £100 like you've said you have lost money from the bay of e keeping your fees etc
    xx

    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  13.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yeah I definitely don't think you should refund her... Besides I'm guessing you've already spent that £100 so would have to find it from somewhere and obviously you're selling your dress for a reason as you want the money instead?! If it was me I wouldn't refund her, but if I ever decided I was, I'd just mess her around for the similar amount of time lol saying I'll get it to u thurs and then not get it to her!( not that I would refund I'm just saying!)
    Definitely get that dress back up for sale, I wouldn't even message her saying your doing so as she's done you no favours x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  14.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree, if you've lost money due to her non payment she should forfeit the deposit, sellers fees can be expensive

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  15.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     


    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  16.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Whether you've lost money or not, a deposit is a deposit. *Touch wood'* if any of us girls had to cancel suppliers/wedding how many of our deposits would we get back?! Don't give her it back!

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  17.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    thats a good point april- all of my deposits iv paid they said its a non refundable deposit unless they cancel on me
    xx

    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  18.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Did you have anything in writing about the terms of the deposit? If not then she doesn't have a leg to stand on. However neither have you, if she decides to argue that the deposit was intended to secure the dress and the dress is no longer being held for her. I would definitely make sure that you tell her if you haven't already that you will release the dress for sale if payment isn't received by a certain date. It may be that you need to be prepared to give back say 50% of the deposit, or retain only what you can prove is the cost of the money that you have lost. If she does push for the £100 back it might be worth speaking to a solicitor to see where you stand legally. You can usually get a free initial consultation, enough to find out whether you would stand a risk of losing if she took you to small claims.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  19.  
    • xbeckix88
      CommentAuthorxbeckix88
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 23rd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    I just searched through my archived messages on Bay of E and it was agreed the £100 would be paid so I would remove the dress from all preloved sites and Bay of E so it was secured as hers and she would pay up in 3 weeks.
    I have sent her a message politely saying that I will be relisting the dress. I understood she had money troubles which I tried to accommodate but its now coming up to the 6month mark since I removed the listing for her and still no money.
    I have not mentioned the £100 deposit I shall see which way it goes if she gets funny ill refund just for the sake of a easy life but if its not mentioned I doubt ill be giving it back.


    UPDATE; Says my text was read pretty much straight after I sent but as of yet no reply.
 
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