LOL! sorry to laugh but he has put his foot right in it!

Now was he being serious? If he was that's soooo wrong.

If he was joking he should apologise to your hubbie.

Hubbie is being very protective over you and maybe he feels that if he backs down it may make him look weak.

I understand why your crying. Chin up!

I think this is a case of 6 of one and half a dozen of the other that has gone too far. Personally the way I read it (obviously don't know anyone involved so could be wrong) was that it was clearly a joke, yes, maybe a little misguided but still a joke. I think h2b needs to get over it and the guy that said it should just say sorry for making a joke others didn't find funny.

If my h2b was spitting his dummy out over a joke I'd be well p1ssed! If, however this was a serious comment I'd just say the guy is an idiot but clearly it would never happen anyway and just ignore it

I tried telling him to be the bigger person, I mean it was a joke and I have told all involved that I just think its a bit wrong to say stuff like that.

I am so angry that my H2B is willing to let it cause such massive problems and cancel our wedding. He said its his self respect and the fact I'm sticking up for the tool, but all I want is peace and no awkward situations with my family over something like this.

He's so stubborn though that he won't back down. I just feel like telling him we may as well call it quits, if this is all it takes for him to say he doesn't want to get married. I just can't think of anything to solve it.

I secound that

Your h2b is definately being selfish - I wonder if there's more to it?

Jeez, if I had a fallout every time one of h2bs mates made an inappropriate joke, we'd have about three guests left! It was very rude of the bloke, and I'd feel slightly miffed, but wedding or no, never wanting to be in the same room as him is a bit extreme xx

Sorry Hun but I agree with a few that there is more to it.. Yes it was wrong but if obviously said in a jokey (albeit creepy) manor then it shouldn't come to this xxx

There is 100% more to this. Your boyfriend is defo not telling you everything on how he is feeling.

XX

I agree with Sonya and I'm so sorry you're being caught in the middle.

I would leave it for a bit, things are often said in the heat of the moment and if the parties involved are stubborn, they need some time to calm down and reflect.

Xx

is your h2b serious ...... he would rather put his wedding /relationship in jeopardy than be the bigger person and ignore an immature joke .

wow, how much can one little thing spiral so badly out of control o_o

ive never seen an over reaction like it, usually one person, but not all concerned over one farty comment, there's definitely got to be more to this or everyone's just lost the plot.

What an awful situation for you to be in :-( Its certainly something that needs to be resolved quickly before it escalates further. I think your fiance and parents are being terribly unfair to you. Big hugs hun x

sometimes people can say things before they think? your hubby to be needs to get over it

I love you lala

Let things calm down. H2b has over reacted. Ask sisters partnet. To apologize to your h2b, May alleviate things.

I agree that this is a major over reaction. If this situation were happening to me, I would get everyone round to MY HOME (safe ground), sit everyone down round the table or in living room, however I would stay standing.

I would state that you want complete silence, you want no interuptions, you have something to say & you need them to understand and be responsible adults at this stage.

you should make it perfectly clear that you understand that the comment was made as a joke, but that personally you found it bad taste, you find the man vile, you would NEVER sleep with him if he was the last man on earth, make sure that you include your step sister in this stating that you find it discusting he would even think such things about her, how dare he treat you sister in such a way!

I would then state to your OH, that, you think he is being childish! he needs to grow up! It was meant as a joke, nothing more, you are not standing up for the bloke, you dislike him & are only being civil with him to keep the peace. Let him know that you love him. You want to marry him. but he needs to be the bigger man and be civil so that you dont lose your family due to some ahole (pointing at sisters partner) making a vile joke, tell him he means more to you than that.

Then turn to your parents, tell them that you wont allow them to try to force you into choosing between them and your OH, you love all 3 of them in different ways. You feel that they are being completely childish and they wouldnt have let you get away with such behaviour growing up, so why should you have to put up with it from them now. Tell them you do not like sisters OH, you probably never will, however you have been civil with him for this long and plan to continue to do so for your sisters sake. If they feel the need to take away the funding, then that will be fine, however you will not reimburse them for the money they will lose by doing so (deposits etc) as this money was GIFTED to you. Tell them that the wedding will continue, if it is with their help, then you are extremely grateful & shall continue as planned, if it is without their help, then it will still continue, however will be at a much later date.

I would then turn to your sister, without yelling, i would calmly ask, what she thinks of the way her OH has teated her, even if she believes it was meant as a joke, ask her if she can see your point, that he should not be saying stuff like that about the wonderful woman carrying his baby. ask her to think about what shes getting herself into. Dont wait for an answer... that is an answer only your sister needs to know.

I would then tell everyone they have until a certain time frame, to sort this stuff out (say 11pm), neck some alcohol & tell them you'll be back at this time and they had better have sorted their differences out as whether they like it or not they are going to have to be civil for your sake, just as you are civil for your sisters sake. then leave them in the house. go to the pub with mates or something.

sorry for the long post

Oh honey what a terrible situation! You definitely need to sit him down and have a long conversation about why he overreacted. It's not like you made the comment! Hope everything gets resolved for you. Can you have a word with your sister and get her other half to apologise again? Xxx

Oh goodness hun, sorry to hear about this. Sounds like a stupid insensitive and inappropriate joke has just gone seriously wrong.

I agree with the others on here, Lala's hubby makes good points and Katya's suggestions are good. Could you try some form of mediation between h2b and your family? Get someone in who is neutral on safe ground, a neutral place who won't take sides but who can get everyone to open up and to be honest about what their actual true position and interests are in all of this to then reach some mutually agreeable way forward?

xxx

Sorry its taken a while to reply. Thankyou for all your comments. Not much has been resolved to be honest, so I'm staying with family to give my fella time to think and calm down. Then hoepfully we can all smooth over this bump. Fingers crossed. Xx

Fingers crossed a bit of space will make him snap out of it!! Keep us updated hun xxx