Hi Ladies

I've got a bit of a situation with who to invite to the day time...There is a couple that were friends of my OH's grandparents (neither Grandparent are still alive) They've been family friends for a long time and they live down in Cornwall.

My In-Laws (mainly FIL) want to invite them to our wedding and we've said they are welcome to come to the evening reception but we're having to be strict with invites to the day time. Our venue holds 60 people at a push and we're at 50 people with close family and friends already.

Do you think I'm wrong to expect an elderly couple to travel 400 miles (Cornwall to Essex) for just an evening reception? Should I give in or put my foot down?

xxx

they might come that distance for a whole day invite but its probably a bit to far just for a evening reception. My fiance's sister had this problem when doing her invites which is probably why there was only 1 couple that came to the evening reception as the others had deemed it too far for just an evening reception and possibly why some of the guests go full day invites because of the distance x

I think you should priotise your day guests as you have done and if there is space then invite them but if not then invite to the evening only. They may not come but may appreciate the gesture xx

I've never met them and my OH has only met them once in his life...they're friends of his grandparents and parents rather than us! I'd happily invite them to the evening but we've literally not got space during the day. We'd have to sacrifice some of our friends who we really want there.

Am I being selfish?x

If you've invited who you want and you're at 50 already, then why not invite them to the day - if however (and it sounds like you've made up your mind already) you only have space for them to come in the evening then send them an evening invite.

A reserve list is a really good idea...I'd never thought of that.

Bridalmiss - You're pretty right when you say I've made my mind up already. I just don't want to be thought of as a 'Bridezilla' by not inviting people close to his parents. My OH and BM's have said that it's our day and that nobody should ruin it, if we dont want them there than so be it. But it's not a case of not wanting them there, I just don't know them at all!

x

we will be having people travelling 200 miles and have said that we cant expect them to travel that for the evening only so we have them on the reserve list for the day ... it will either be that or nothing ...after all its not only the traveling its the fact that they will be paying for accomadation that night too

I agree with lala, i would not expect anyone to travel that far just for the evening and certainly not at that age. They have been friends of the family for a long time, and maybe for the inlaws it would feel like having a part of the grandparents there if you know what i mean. Is there no way that 2 people could be accomodated? I understand the need to be strict, h2b and I are in a very similar boat, but i think in those circumstances i would invite them to all day to please the inlaws. We have been strict and gave our parents limited numbers so they could invite important people we may have forgotten, then my dad decided that he wanted to invite his cousin who he sees a couple of times a year (due to distance) so i made him swap them for someone *shrugs* he took his sister off the guest list which suits me as i havent spoken to her in over 2 years anyway lol.

sad face because it might not be what she wants to hear hehehehe

happy face for agreeing with you cause i wuffffffffffff you :-)

We have 3 guests coming from about 400 miles away to just the evening but we are meeting them for a meal on Saturday. They are coming down for a few days and seeing family whilst they're here. We have another 2 from France who are combining our evening reception with a family visit too.
BUT these aren't your guests, they're the parents / grandparents guests and are lucky to be invited to any of it since neither you or your husband actually know them.
Invite them to the evening and let them make their own decision about whether they want to come or not.

are your inlaws paying anything towards the wedding ... if so surely they can have 2 guests there

The bottom line is you have never met them, and your partner has met them once! You only have room for 60 guests and you are being pressured into inviting someone that you don't know. The fact that they are old and live 400 miles away, is not really your concern. I would invite them to the evening reception and then it is their choice whether they come or not.