Ok, here goes.... me and H2B have been planning our wedding since november, booked and paid deposits for most things before xmas, everything was going according to plan. Then we both lost our jobs at the end of December!! Luckily my parents stepped up and have covered most of the cost for us. H2Bs parents are paying for buttonholes for their family, drinks for the toast and his dad is making our cake. I finally found a new job a month ago, but H2B is still looking. We have struggled through, getting bits and pieces when we could and managed to pay for the ceremony and most of his outfit, but he still needs jacket, shoes and accessories. We are planning to get this when I get paid on the 25th, which will give us a week and a half till the wedding. The problem is his dad. Every time H2B speaks to him all he says is that he should have his outfit by now and he needs to get it sorted, which is making him panic. Not good as he suffers from anxiety! Today he has spoken to his sister and she has started doing the exact same thing!! They know how much we have been struggling and how much my parents have helped us out, but they haven't offered any help towards his outfit, even as a loan. Yet they can afford to hire a minibus and driver for the whole day to take their family to the ceremony, then to the reception, then home afterwards!!! I am getting so annoyed with them.... it's a month till our wedding and everytime he speaks to his family they just make him more stressed and anxious!!!!
We dit it!!!!!! 06/10/12
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
Is there anyway he could avoid speaking to them for the time being - to alleviate the stress a little bit? I must say, you have done remarkably well to get so far along with your planning and booking on such little income - well done on getting your new job! Happy times lay ahead x
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthorlizzylou
Yeah, I agree with little kettle, as much as you can try and have a period of "non- wedding related contact with parents". Give hime some breathing space. x
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I would tell them that you cant afford to buy it before then, and if this offends them so much then they can stick their hand in their pocket and give him the money to buy it now! You've done so well to get a wedding together with no income as it is, they shouldn't be trying to put extra pressure on you both! xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorMrsSteenie
unfortunately they keep bringing it up.... they phone regularly and it seems that is WHY they phone!!! They are very well aware that we have no money and have been struggling to live, let alone buying things for the wedding, and have basically said they can't afford to help. Luckily they are giving us the money for the toast to give to my parents and my mum has said we can use that and pay her back after the wedding, but we still have to wait for his parents to cough up.... I'm just waiting for his brother to say something, then it'll be a full house!! It sucks cos I'm getting to the stage where I just want the whole thing over and done with :(
Don't let it get you down hunni. I would tell them straight - look, we can't afford to buy it yet and we'd appreciate it if you could stop bringing it up everytime we speak as it#s causing us to stress out more!
BIG HUGS hunni xx
CommentAuthorVelcro
Things like this do my head in, if people KNOW you are skint and have to wait til a certain date, no amount of nagging will make ANY difference, if you've not had a snapper at them yet, well done you because I would have gone ballistic by now. You can't get them til the25th, that should be the end of discussion, and unless they are willing to loan the money (which from what you've said, they can't afford, so should understand the money woes) they should butt out. I'm sure you'd rather get the suits sooner rather than leaving it so late in the day, but no matter how much they moan, won't change the fact that you can't.
Try just to let it go over your head, and tune them out when they start. Just respond with ''yes'' whenever they start going on lol. If you can't screen their calls, just start ignoring the phone, I'm sure anything of importance will be followed with a voicemail message
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMrsA2B
Your h2b will be fine, bless him. I feel for him being pressurized. You could always reassure him with the fact that it is possible to get his outfit sorted in the final week of the wedding planning. They do it on DTTB and my h2bs step-dad lives in Cyprus and the shop have told us it's possible to meassure him up and get his suit ordered and sent to us within the week as he comes over the weekend before our wedding!
xx
Known each other all my life....
Can't wait til I am called your wife...
Roll on 13th October 2012 when I become Mrs Alford xx
CommentAuthormadison_uk
you have done really well, just tell them its getting sorted when you next get paid if they feel the need then they can pay for it sooner, in laws are always pains just keep going and hopefully h2b will calm down
CommentAuthorLulu1388
I got to say (just like the other ladies) well done on how far along with your planning/booking you've come considering your circumstances! & congrats on the new job too! I'm sure your OH will find something soon.
As for the situation, I have to agree with the others, is there any way you can give yourselves some breathing space or if they keep ringing/hassling just nod along, say yes and let them get on with it? Either that or tell it to them straight hun.
No point stressing yourselves out over it so close the big day now, I know its easier said than done but just try and keep going without it getting to you too much and as most in laws are unfortunately thats in their nature to be pains!! Good luck hun xxx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorSam
Can you just screen your calls? Seems like that'll be the only way to avoid them. I think you two are doing an admirable job considering the circumstances, keep your chin up
CommentAuthorhigginszajac
If your a bit short have you thought about maybe looking in the chairty shops a friend of mine has just brought two work suits from i think it was oxfam for about twenty pounds they are really nice, my oh got his whole suit for our wedding for 35.00 from asda, hope you manage to get sorted and shut his family up xx
CommentAuthorMrsSteenie
Thanks for all your lovely comments guys, really appreciate it :) Something amazing happened today. I got a message from H2B while I was at work saying that his parents were taking him to a well known menswear hire shop to "sort him out". I was a little concerned as we were gonna buy, but decided to just have a chat with him when I got home. I got home about an hour ago and asked him what had happened. Apparently his dad rang him and he got really upset, so his dad rang the suit shop, then rang him back and told him to meet them in town a couple of hours later. Long story short, they are paying for the hire of his entire outfit!!! I'm still a little upset that it took this long for them to offer help, but I'm over the moon that they have offered so much help, and that H2B is now completely stress free!! :D They have also handed over the money for the toast, so we have some breathing space this month :)
We dit it!!!!!! 06/10/12
CommentAuthorSam
Yay! That's great : D
CommentAuthorTori
I can't believe how well you have both done. H2b and I were both made redundant at the same times a few years ago so I can really sympathise, times were hard without a wedding to plan!
How awful that the in laws kept ringing and putting pressure on when they must know how much you are struggling! At least it has been sorted now and one less thing to worry about.
All the best for your wedding and hope you both get back on your feet properly soon xx
CommentAuthorB2B2017
FINALLY!!! At least now its sorted so they can stop complaining about it! Great news xx
Planning to perfection <3
CommentAuthorBobsi
Thats really great news. xx
Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
8 years to the day and I'll be Mrs T.
CommentAuthorlizzylou
Great to hear it's sorted and that they'll be off your backs. If they start with anything again, just say, look, we can't afford it right now but we're doing it. Don't let them get to you.x x
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorKarenB9
Thats great news x
CommentAuthorhigginszajac
Wonderful news so pleased for you xx
CommentAuthorNicholaP44
i can sense the weight being lifted from ur shoulders hun, thank goodness!! xx
Marrying "the 1" on 4th Oct 2013
CommentAuthorShelleyM46
thats great news : )
cant wait to marry the love of my life
my soul mate and my best friend
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Aw thats great news :) can feel a sense of relief in the air, and think the weights lifted from all our shoulders for you!! Better late than never eh :) xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorMrsSteenie
Yeah, so glad they are finally stepping up!!! My parents have been highly unimpressed that they were playing the "oh, but we're poor pensioners" card and moaning about the cost of everything then booked the bloody minibus which must have cost hundreds!!! Apparently the reason for the constant reminders was that he didn't tell them we were gonna BUY his jacket, so they were worried about the timescales for hiring it!! He's still a little worried cos the sleeves on the jacket are too long and they won't allow them to be altered, but that is a very minor issue.... they are only about and inch off, so the cover a bit of his hands, not like they are hanging off lol Now just need to sort his cufflinks and gifts for the parents, best man, ring bearer and usher and that's everything done!! 4 weeks today!!!! :D
