Hi this weekend has been horrid with a few things bubbling over......I'm already tired out and v stressed with work so an outside view would e great.
My reception venue we went 100% sure on despite mum n dad paying deposition it with it our OK! But we decided to stick with it, rang the wedding planner person and she couldn't be less bothered if she tried! We wanted to meet up to discuss food etc but she said oh just put it in n email an I'll look when I can. I was a bit disheartened by that. Our DJ also wanted to meet with us at the venue to discuss lighting etc and she wasn't bothered about that either. So email been sent and no response.
Secondly bridemids dresses. I've made it clear to parents involved that I'm not going to look until December. Thy keep pushing and pushing about getting them, when am I going to look etc, enforcing their views on what is suitable, not as if I'm going to put them in peephole bras!! My sister has even begun togo shopping herself for them???!!!!!! Purely its me who choose them
Also there seems to be a lot of behind my back hat between my mum bother and sister about what I'm going!
Its driving me mad I hardly slept last night.
Surely this is mine and my bloke day and speial no one else's?
Tbh I feel like telling people o peeee off lol
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorwelf
oh it doesnt sound like fun, my situation is the complete opposite and it seems people cant be bothered :( be straight with them and let them know you have other prorities first, they will soon get the hint x
CommentAuthorsarah
Does the venue have a planning timeline? Tbh it is a bit early to be discussing things like menu choices and lighting. Right now their priority is all the brides getting married in the next couple of months (since this is prime wedding season they are apt to be really busy). If they haven't given you other reasons to be worried I'd try not to be too stressed about it.
As for the bm dresses you could always tell them that you aren't ready to make any decisions or that they've made a good point. I would then quickly change the subject.
good-luck x
CommentAuthorMrsRatcliffetobe
I wouldnt say its too early to be planning these things, I've already had several meetings with my wedding co-ordinator discussing everything from timings to menus to first dance songs. With 12 months to go, if you haven't already had a meeting with her i'd definetly be pushing for one ASAP. Parents, I'd tell them that if they want to discuss your wedding without you then to keep to chatter between themselves, theres no reason for them to be making decisions for you. From what I can see above, you're worried about what you should be and have a perfectly reasonable timetable for your purchases. x x
First date - 17th July 2004
Daughter born - 12th February 2008
Proposed - 25th December 2012
Getting Married - 18th October 2014
CommentAuthorJoanna
For the venue, they probably just have a timeline they always work with. We had an initial meeting with the co-ordinator then only communicated through emails until our 6 months prior meeting, then we have one 1 month before. Maybe this is what your venue do?
As for your family, is it possible they're just excited and want to be involved in the planning?
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
It's shoddy practice to not even acknowledge an email...even if they can't deal with it there and then, they should let you know it's been received and that they will get back to you.
Our venue have been quite good - at the initial meeting, our wedding coordinator said that we could have as many meetings as we felt necessary, which was reassuring. She did say that food choices etc were usually done nearer the time. At our first meeting we really just sketched out a rough outline of the day, this was about a year ago (so fourteen months til the big day) and we are having another meeting tomorrow (so four months to the big day) to discuss food etc...so I'm guessing that most venues work on a similar timescale?
That said, if you havent negotiated 'this years prices' into your contract, their food costs/hire costs might increase between then and now, so that's the area I'd be nailing them down on - a friend who booked a wedding, paid a deposit and didn't do this got the shock of her life - they'd done the budget based on current prices, however in the meantime the venue was taken over and the new owner increased the food costs by around 25 percent - which was a fair whack when she was catering for eighty guests!
The DJ meeting will probably be best done closer to the day - layout of rooms, venue policy etc could change between then and now, but she should be happy to accommodate this. We are having a meeting with our photographer at the venue, the coordinator said that we could either combine that with a meeting with her, or come to a wedding open evening with the photographer and then they could guarantee that the photographer could have access to all the rooms we would be using, and see the layout for the ceromony and wedding breakfast which would probably be better...and the wedding coordinator would still be on hand if she or I had any queries - is his something you could do with your DJ?
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorFinally Susan B
Does the venue have more than one wedding planner? I started with one , then by chance next call had a stroppy, unhelpful planner - made sure I always asked for the first one after that and things have gone along fine. As for the dresses - it sounds like your family are real excited and want to plan something now - I think you just have to let them know, you will love to talk ideas and stuff with them but just not yet, closer to the time x
CommentAuthorAshleigh:)
Why don't you call someone who is higher then her at the venue and tell them whats going on, they might be able to help?? Yes it is you who gets to pick them, and if no one else likes it just simply tell them its your day its what you like and if the bridesmaids dont want to wear it say, dont be one then?! Your family just might want to help and get involved though?
CommentAuthorsarah
Having re-read your post it sounds like you're already unhappy with the venue. Perhaps you need to set up a meeting with a manager and discuss your concerns with them? I'd print out your emails and the planners response so they can't wiggle out of it.
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
I agree it doesn't sound like u want this venue... I think it's way too early to go and meet about menu choices and dj etc...
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
I would be a bit miffed at your wedding co-ordinator, to tell a bride she doesn't have time to deal with your enquiry is unprofessional and rude. It would do her good to remember that is is the brides and grooms booking with her paying her wage.
Get a meeting organised and tell her your concerns and what you expect from her and the venue. Also if she thinks it is too early to be sorting out menu's and meetings with dj's ask her when she thinks it is reasonable and normal to be doing such things.
However remember this is your day and if you want to be super organised there is nothing wrong with this. It gives you time to think things over and make changes if you need to xx
CommentAuthorValentinaK
This would infuriate me... i'm lucky that i'm organising most of the stuff at the venue myself (a masonic lodge where i get to call in all the suppliers and choose exactly what i want!)
All other brides...take heed!
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorhis duck
I've emailed venue and nit a great response. Tbh only reason we stich with it was because a deposit had been paid, without our ok to!
We have found somewhereelse that we both love and prov booked it but unfortunately we now have to cancel our first holiday together was only 4 days to be able to pay deposit! Mum and dad were going to pay but ive mentioned it to them and no offer now. I honestly well we honestly just want to can ell whole thing its making us so miserable. Dad won't now wear suit we want to get so they all match. Its making me so sad can't believe how people are being. I thought weddings were supposed to be exciting and fun. This isn't
I'm one very unhappy btb!
Is a very lucky girl :)
CommentAuthorElizabethP8
Sounds like your having a rough time but if you have your plan in place I are on top of everything then you just need to stick to your guns and do it your way. Let everyone know how you feel as people can often be oblivious to others feelings and not intentionally trying to take over. I would contact your venue and tell them that if they don't work with you you will be demanding your whole deposit back and going elsewhere as you are paying them a lot of money for your one special day! When it comes to weddings, cusomer service should be top knotch, thats partly why you are paying so much because you are expected to be demanding! Hope you get it all worked out xx
