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Wedding Forum - A bit upset - not sure what to do...

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  1.  
    • NaomiC8
      CommentAuthorNaomiC8
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 5th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    So me and the OH went to visit venues for the first time today - 3 venues to be exact.

    I really liked the first one but it was more so for the backdrop, its by a lake with lovely scenery - however given our large guest list i was concerned that the hall would be too small. - the hall sit 120 and 150 standing - looking at it i just dont think that it would be big enough..this is just the reception venue..

    second venue was the venue i had my heart set on from when i saw it on the website - i had an app booked at 2.. however i was left waiting for 40 minutes by the event manager, was then told i can be shown the venue by the security guard but i had to be quick as someone had an app at 3 with the same event manager, so i got to see her briefly but she diddnt have anything much to say which kind of put me off.. however the venue was still wonderful, its just the reception venue...

    the third venue was very similar to the second however the people were much more accomodating and had two potential rooms - and i liked both of them...

    However the OH decided that he liked the first one straight away before even looking at the other venues and barely gave the others a chance, he just did not appear interested after the first venue, its like he had made up his mind.

    This really frustrated me and im thinking it was mainly because it was a really reasonable price and thats all he was talking about... and he got on my nerves all afternoon..

    iv tried to explain that its going to be too small but he is not having it and i dont wish to cut down my guests any further...

    How do you suggest i work this out with him without choking him... (lol)
  2.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 5th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think he needs to see the other venues first before you decide anything because otherwise he has a completely biased opinion of them all! Personally I wouldn't go with somewhere where the communication and customer service was crap as quite frankly, that is stress you won't need!

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  3.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Nov 6th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Maybe go back to the others with more time, ask them to revisit but ensure the events manager has plenty of time to spend with you showing you around and discussing things. Maybe he will then change his mind.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  4.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 6th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think you should go back to number 2 and ensure events manager is there, I would be really put off if a security guard showed me round!

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  5.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 6th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Maybe you can ask him if he is willing to cut down his guests any further. If he can see that that is a condition of the first one he might be more open minded. Sometimes people can decide they like the first one they see and find excuses with the other ones for why they're not as good. I would certainly not let it drop, keep pointing out why you like the other ones better.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  6.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 6th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I would make appointments to see #2 and #3 again giving you plenty of time and making sure #2 events manager has the time to give you their full attention and give them another chance as they could have just a had a bad day.

    If your OH still doesn't give the other two a chance then sy you couldn't cut your guests down any more and say he would have to sacrifice some of his guests. Then he'll either change his mind if he wants all his guests and realises its too small, or will do it so your numbers work!

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  7.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 6th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It needs to be a joint decision. I don't think you should choose a venue he doesn't like. I think you may have to cut guests as the wedding is about the two of you getting married, not always about having hundreds of ppl there x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  8.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 6th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Was there anything that your H2B really disliked about the other venues? If so you may need to look again, otherwise definitely give them another look. The other thing you need to do is think honestly about why your H2B wants the first place. Maybe ask him again tomorrow, and arrange another visit to all three, but perhaps in a different order. Also keep looking around, as it sounds like none if the venues are making you feel that they're perfect. I don't think you should need to cut guests if they are important to you, but I think we had about 110 guests at ours for the reception, and another 60 added on for the evening, so that would be an option. Don't feel pressured to cut people out that you really want there though.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  9.  
    • IrishLion
      CommentAuthorIrishLion
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 7th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Id go to the third venue again, to me this sounds like the one. get him when hes in a good mood. some men ive found approach weddings like they do clothes shoppin. IN, LOOK, BUY, OUT, HOME. they dont shop around like we do lol

    ideally you dont want to cut guests im sure, but if it needs to be done i found there is a handy pic floatin round the net on how to cull guests - if uve not seen them for a yr or you wouldnt miss them at the wedding then cut them.

    explain your worries to him and that its stressing you. compromise.

    good luck.xx
  10.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 7th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I would go and look at venues 2 and 3 again.. and maybe venue 1 again afterwards. Hopefully your OH will be able to take a different perspective this time around having not just been to the 1st venue and having it fresh in his mind. I think it's easy to fall in love with the 1st venue because it's all so exciting, everything looks so wonderful.. We only ever looked round 1 venue and knew it was it!!

    It does need to be a joint decision though.. if he genuinely doesn't like venues 2 or 3 then you can't force him. Is it important to you to have so many guests at the wedding? Did you tell the venue how many guests would be there? Did they say that that would be ok?

    You just need to talk to your OH.. be honest and open with him, tell him your worries and concerns about the venue. Sounds like one of you needs to compromise, but you both still need to be happy with the decision x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  11.  
    • SydnieH
      CommentAuthorSydnieH
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 7th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    To be fair my partner and I saw a few venues, he said he liked them but the one he preferred was the cheapest one. I think it must be a natural thing for a man to do. However, in saying that, he could just really like this venue, maybe he sees it as intimate and that your guests would have to mingle as they would be so close knit to each other. Maybe try a completely new venue and see if yous can come to an agreement on a completely different venue. Rather than one of you having to chose a venue you're not happy with. We went for the cheaper venue, but my H2B gave me other reasons, other than price: It was central to all our guests, it was stunning, the staff we're friendly, it was kid friendly (big to us with 2 young boys) and it meant I could spend more on other aspects lol
  12.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 7th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't think it's natural for a man to like the cheapest.. my OH has the most expensive taste you could imagine!!

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  13.  
    • SydnieH
      CommentAuthorSydnieH
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 7th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Haha, Flossie. My man has expensive taste with almost anything but when it's his money he's spending he rains it in a little :~)
  14.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 7th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Mine has expensive taste and also loves spending money haha.. dangerous x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  15.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 7th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    My husband knew which venue he wanted before we got engaged. I had one or two ideas, although a couple of them while phenomenal were through the roof on cost. However he had a good reason for choosing the hotel that we used, as his parents and sister stay whenever they visit and his sister is severely disabled. That particular hotel had always been great about accommodating her, including adapting the bed, so having the reception there meant that we knew Sarah could be looked after, and could be taken up to her room during the meal (she doesn't eat and gets fed up being around people who are eating). When he explained his reasoning I was quite happy to go with it.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  16.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Nov 7th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree with GF. Go for second viewings. I'm afraid men are like that though in general when it comes to picking and choosing things.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  17.  
    • NaomiC8
      CommentAuthorNaomiC8
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 8th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i think he is just trying to be cheap... loool,,,

    but im going to look at some other venues when i get back from my holiday.... and hoepfully we can both agree on something... if anything i think we will have to cut down some guests if we go with the first one..

    buut i think were at the bare minimum already as we have big families.. but we will see
 
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