Steve and I are usually very level headed so not sure if we are thinking rationally at the moment. Had a very emotional few days which has left us wondering who are we doing this Wedding for? Us or family? At over £75 per head, when we totted up drinks/meal/buffet/cake/favours/sweet station etc, its quite obvious its mostly for family! Best part is family are not that interested, excited or trying to be involved....unless of course its to put our ideas down or see what freebies are in it for them. We stand to lose £1250 if we cancel. However we are now thinking of getting married in Lake Bled in Slovenia, where I have always wanted to visit, or Italy or Austria. We have worked out it would also be cheaper than the £7k plus that we still have to pay for a wedding here and we get a honeymoon which we couldnt afford if we carry on with the Wedding here. We would pay for ourselves and our boys to go. Anyone who is interested in attending will be very welcome at their own cost. Please ladies tell me what you think. Are we mad to cancell? xxx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorMrsStone2b
Dont make any rash decisions - me and my h2b went through this, thinking its about everyone else and not us, but when it came down it, a wedding wouldnt be a weddig for us if our family weren't there to witness it.
You dont want to regret not having the wonderful day you've spent ages planning years into to the future.
Have you thought about reducing your numbers and just having people there who you really want there - thats what we're doing???
xx
CommentAuthorMrs Steer
Your wedding, you have to do what you both want! For you and not anyone else. Just remember that its your special day! xx
Is now happily married to my gorgeous man
11-06-11
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
ah hun,take a deep breath. Are you sure that is what you want? x
CommentAuthormrs handforth
im in a situation at the moment where im thinking the same just to go and get married on our own abroad,i think you still need to think about it,but if its what you want dont let anyone stand in your way xx
Our venue requires a minimum of 50 guests which is the price we have been quoted for, however we already know this may rise as our guest list has been steadily growing. So it could only get more expensive, as we definately cant go lower than the 50. Our worry is we will regret not having all our family there. My mum has already said that she would go if we get married in Europe and said she would look after our boys to give us some time alone after the wedding. Not asked his parents yet but Steve is ok either way. Parents are really the only people who we would regret not having there. xx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
I think it is such a shame that you felt you had to change your wedding plans to please your MIL2b. I would have stuck with what you originally planned, as you and h2b were happy with what you had chosen and that is all that matters. Feel for you that you have to deal with such a difficult woman. But do what you both want. If you want to get away from all the family problems then do it, you don't want to look back on your day and regret not going with your heart. You only have the one wedding day so do what you want. My cousin and her hubby just went and got married at a lovely church with 2 witnesses and they don't ever regret it, she had an interfering MIL so they did what was best for them. I can see why she did it now after planning my own wedding, it can be so stressful when you have difficult family members who take over. Good luck with your decision. xxx
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
To be honest we havent had long to think about it...only a few days. However it feels very liberating to think we could have a wedding where we don't have to worry about everyone turning up, pleasing everyone and the financial strain of fllling everyones plate and glass... just a quiet wedding for Steve, myself, and our boys sounds bliss. Hopefully with parents there but that would be their decision. xx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorCroc
do you know what... i wish we had just gone away and done it like we joked just upping and going to vegas one weekend ... we very very nearly did bags were packed putting credit card details in to the laptop but i decided i couldnt do a 10 hr flight as i hate flying...
and yes i regret it now totally....
but then again the wedding im having isnt the wedding if always dreamed about it just kind of fell in to place and ive arrived at what im having...
but were not cancelling as we will still have to pay for everything now.. so just gonna roll with it for the next 80 days
just dont do any thing rash.... what was you r wedding day that you dreamed about???
"better a witty fool, than a foolish wit" shakespeare
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
I think the mil has been the catalyst for realising how much we are wasting on people that don't really give 2 hoots. We sat down when Steve got home from work, looked through the guest list and on my side, theres only my mum who I want there. On Steve's side regardless of problems caused, he wants his mum and step and real dad there. So 95% of our guest list is for people that have v little involvement in our lives and who we very rarely see. We have said our parents will be invited and it is then up to them if they wish to come with us. xxx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
I think the Wedding we dreamed of was a huge family affair, everyone pleased excited and getting involved. In reality no one mentions the wedding unless its something they are putting down. Our venue changed due to mil comments and now we have a venue with a £5k higher price tag. We had hoped as Steve was their only child that they would be delighted about the wedding and myself and mil would bond and go dress shopping together, look through wedding mags etc.. )-: None of that is ever likely to happen as they can't say a good thing about it. xx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorlemlau
do what your heart is telling you! it sounds like you want to go away and do it as your own family unit, and personally i wouldn't tell anyone who doesn't deserve or you know deep down doesn't want to really be there.(from what i have read on previous posts) yeah you loose some money but you gain a whole lot more in the long run!
I say DO IT!!
Live every moment
Laugh everyday
Love beyond words
Happily ever after
CommentAuthorJilly17
We could not go away due to my health but we have been talking about doing it just the two of us too. I do not really want to do it without my parents or brother but it is the in laws that are the problem as you need quite a few people in a room to dilute them! Whatever you decide I hope it is the right decision for you!
CommentAuthorpurpleme
its ur day not the families day do things how u want not how they want tell them its not their day and if they want to have a big day then pay for it themselves not use ur money and intruding on ur day x
Cannt wait to be a Savage :-)
CommentAuthorMrsd
Follow whats in your heart, what would make you and h2b more happy? xx
CommentAuthorsuzky123
if its what u want then yey go for it but do think it through very carefully. if u cancel and regret u lose the money for no reason. Really look into the other option but dont cancel yet until u know everything there is to know
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
Losing the £1250 is the only thing stopping us at the moment as no matter which way we look at it, its a hell of a lot of money to lose. However when we think of the £7k or more left to pay, and then compare that to how much it would cost us for a 14 night holiday in Slovenia which would cost us £2200 for the 4 of us and a further £1800 for the wedding package, which includes photography, cake etc. we would still have £3k left and only have small bits left to buy and this way would have our honeymoon/ family holday that we couldnt otherwise afford. I think Steve and I are both of the same mind in that our hearts are telling us to cancel and marry in Slovenia, Italy or Austria. xxx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
If you still feel the same tomorrow then go for it! It does sound like you want to cancel - there's no point wasting money on people who aren't close/interested :) If you think about it £1250 is worth having a happy wedding day you cherish rather than a stressed one you regret xx
CommentAuthorKatya
sweetie i truely think your mind is already made up i just feel that you are looking for one of us to allow you to follow your heart but sweetie you dont need us to tell you something you already know!
your wedding day your way
its not about doing something you love its about doing something with the person you love!
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorRachie :D
The place you have booked - could you not more it to a Friday or a bank holiday Sunday after you come back and have an evening function to celebrate with everyone? I share you sentiments about the big family wedding where everyone is happy that's what I wanted hut Its so not what we're having
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorXTeresainLoveX
It is a very hard decision for you to make I was only sat down yesterday with my mum saying if i invite this relative then i will have to invite that relative that i don't even see. You do need to think about it carefully. One option you could consider though is if you go ahead with the abroad idea, it will make it more personal to you and your closest family and children and there is nothing stopping you from having a bit of a knees up when you get back, i.e an evening do somewhere where you can just hire a room with a bar and just do a buffet. That way you get to celebrate with everyone else without it breaking the bank. Best of both worlds
CommentAuthorAli
Hun, do what ever YOU and H2B want to do, not what anyone else wants.
We made the decision to get married abroad because we knew there would be issues if we got married here. Yes, I have regreted that certain people won't be there with us (my neice would have loved to be flower girl) but, at the end of the day its what we wanted to do, and its worked out a lot cheaper and we get a holiday as well.
We are having a reception when we get back to the UK, and that is going to cause problems as there are certain members of h2b family that we don't want there..........
At the end of the day, it is your day. Do what you want. Big hugs xx
Happy to be Mrs Holt, love my husband and love the memories
of our wedding day
CommentAuthorUnknown
it is your wedding so do what you and your h2b want. take a few days to think about it first and dont make any rash decisions!
You say you will lose £1250 but this is prob worth it if you will be saving money in the long run as you wont have to pay out for everything else!
why dont you both sit down seperatly and make a list for getting married here and abroad and see what the results are. you may find you make your decision that way xx
CommentAuthorAli
Good idea Terri, a pros and cons list so that you can really work out which is the best route to go :o) xx
Happy to be Mrs Holt, love my husband and love the memories
of our wedding day
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
It's a toughie, although from what you're saying it sounds as though it could be a lot less hassle to get married abroad, not to mention cheaper! I'm kinda with Alie on her idea as it's similar to what we're doing. We're getting married in Vegas. My mum will be there (very surprised that she's coming) as well as a handful of friends. A month after the wedding we're having a party back here, in London as well as a humanist blessing (neither of us are religeous) and I get to wear my dress again and his family get to feel part of some sort of ceremonial type occasion. We're doing that in a local park, so no additional cost there. All our other friends that can't make it to Vegas will be coming to that and we're only inviting people who we want there, not who we feel 'should' be there. Our day, our way. I wish you all the luck with making this decision. Whatever you decide it will be the best thing for both of you Hx
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthorljeh92
I feel for you.. Me and h2b are thinking the EXACT same.. I said to him the other day shall we just cancel and get married abroad and he said lets think about it but yeah its sounds a good idea.. We shouldnt have to think about that but that is whats going through our heads.. If our family dont care then why should we!? So this thought is going through our heads too :(
Good luck with your decision, remember to think about what you want and how you would feel in the long run! xx
Soon to be Mrs Laura Naylor !!
24th June 2011
CommentAuthorjanetx71
aww hun i fell your pain i really really do my advice would be if you feel in your heart that you want to just go away and you can realistically afford to loose this money then give it a month dont pay anything else just casually mention to family see what reaction you get and you will then be a bit more sure of whats best. after the nonsense we have had to put up with if we could have afforded to loose what we have paid as well as everything we have bought then we would be canceling everything and going away with the kids and sod the lot of them xxxx
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
Cancel... use the money to do what you want and don't let anyone say anything. Those who love you will come no matter what!
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthorshellay
its your day, you and your husbands, if you feel that people are only coming for the freebies, then you are not going to enjoy your day, do something that will please yourself, your husband and your children, they are all the important people, if people want to be there they will make the effort and join you out there even if it costs them money :) x
I have know my soulmate for 27 years and on the 6th August
I married him and became Mrs Garnham.
It was most definitely the happiest day of my life.
I love married life !!!!
CommentAuthorclaireandpete
Its your day, and believe me i've thought about it too, I wasn't the one who wanted the big wedding that is more at H2B request, but when things happen with his family and friends i wonder why on earth we didn't just do it when we were in the Bahamas, in the water with the dolphins he would have loved that wand even suggested it when we were there. Only reason i have caved to have the big wedding at home is so some of my elderly family can be there, we decdied that in July last year, but we have already lost one person that we were doing the wedding her for. but i do realise there are friends who will get to a wedding here that wouldn't if we went abroad.
CommentAuthorKarlie1976
hey babe, I know how you feel and understand why you are dubious. My honest opinion if I was in your shoes I would have the venue on a different date for a wedding reception and sod off and get married where you want, that you will enjoy and if parents want to be there then even better. The only reason we are not going away to do it is because of my grand parents as my Gramps is too poorly to travel. Go with your heart. xxxxxxx
Oh mitmas tree oh mitmas tree, how lovely are your branches
09/10/11 What a Fandabulous day!
CommentAuthorAmy112
It's hard to please everyone all the time. I'd say sleep on it for the next few weeks, if by then u both still feel like this then I 'd say go for it! xx
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
i have these day/feeling and thoughts nearly every other week or so allthough we'd lose more i am still not totally sure on what we should do :-(
good luck on either desicion you make x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
Thank you ladies for all your kind comments, I didnt expenct such a great response from you all. I was expecting you all to sya I am amd for even considering it. Fantastic to know I have the support of all my fellow b2b on here, I will probably need it in the coming days. xxx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I think you have to forget money and forget the family and work out what is best for you guys. Would going away make you happy if you couldn't share it with anyone? Would staying make you happy if you had to put up with x,y,z? Work out the pros and cons of both using both your hearts and logic to work out what is right for you. Don't rush into things though as its not like you have to make the decision today. Take your time so you don't end up regretting it.
CommentAuthorRachie :D
dee you know you can count on us to be there for you xx
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
Thanx hun, it really means a lot! Steve's great but theres no substitute for female support and advice and I only get that on here. Steve's cancelled my diet for the day and ordered Domino's for tonight so we can sit, discuss plans and munch pizza. Bless him. xx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
go with your heart ...... you want to have a day that you will look back on with love not regret .....they wedding is for you two no one else xxx
