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UKbride Member Request 21 Aug 2017

Are you paying for your bridesmaid dresses or are the bridesmaids paying for...

Are you paying for your bridesmaid dresses or are the bridesmaids paying for them? If they pay, can you still choose what dress they wear?!

56 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

Mine are paying!

Lis Vaux
Lis Vaux 21 Aug 2017

You can't expect to be able to choose their dresses then ask them to pay for them just give a brief run down of what you'd like colour wise... Then let them do the rest.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

We have paid for dresses and they have purchased shoes and accessories x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

We paid for dresses, shoes jewellery and accessories. Didn't feel right asking. As far as we were concerned, we wanted them to be bridesmaids so were prepared to pay for them

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I am paying for skirts. I asked them to get their own top as long as its cream i dont care what style. I asked them to pay for shoes hair and makeup. Im hoping to buy their shoes though as they are less than a tenner each the ones weve all seen that match mine. Ive been bridesmaid a few times. Some ive bought everything some its all been paid for. Some ive paid for some of it. Even if im paying i would still go with the brides choice its her day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I think you should pay for their dresses but if they do pay it should be their decision on what they wear with maybe colour guidelines xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

We're paying for dresses, accessories and jewellery. Not paying for shoes as they want to wear their own for comfort and we'll choose dresses of a longer length to accomodate different shoes Lisa what accessories are you getting?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

Iv been a bridesmaid 5 times and had maids at my wedding. Dresses have been paid for by the bride and groom every time. Iv always bought my own shoes. Hair and make up has differed each time xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I bought my bridesmaids dresses and asked them to get their own shoes but i said what colour so they was comfortable in them x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

Don't think it's fair for you to choose if you don't pay for them, you're potentially costing your friends money for something they don't want

Rebecca Saunders
Rebecca Saunders 21 Aug 2017

I'm paying for my bridesmaids dresses, I don't think it's right asking them to be a part of your wedding and asking them to pay for it, the only thing we aren't getting are shoes because everyone is different regarding shoes :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

It's a very personal choice but I only had 2 bridesmaids and 2 flowergirls and I paid for everything, dresses, hair, makeup, jewellery and shoes. I don't think you should ask your bridesmaids to buy their own especially when you have asked them to be part of your day but as I said this is my opinion

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I paid for everything but am selling it all on so think that's fair.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I payed for my bridesmaid dresses, their paying for their hair&makeup

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I personally don't think you should make your bridesmaids pay for there own dresses. Especially if you have a particular style in mind. You don't have to pay a fortune for the dresses there are lots of companies that sell bridesmaid dresses at reasonable prices. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I paid half x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I paid for the dress and I let them choose. Thankfully they all agreed on a multi way dress but they can have the top however they want but still the same dress

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I'm sending my bridesmaids ribbon that we've used for the decorations and £50 towards whatever dress they like. They are all dotted around the country and it will be very unlikely to be able to have a fitting so I don't mind that the dresses aren't the same. I just want them to be happy in what they are wearing on the day. They will have matching hair accessories and flowers.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I think it depends on your budget, lots of people forget that on your wedding day you host a lot of people pay for the food and drink and entertainment and it's a day of celebrating that alone costs thousands. If your bridesmaid choices are close friends they wouldn't mind paying for some things and you pay for some things. Just like anything else if you went out for thier birthday or they did for yours you would both pay. It's a wedding and a lot of women get moral and say well you can't ask them and not pay. But it doesn't mean you have to stretch your budget or cut down on other things just so you can dress other people for one day. If you ask and they don't want to pay then you have to think well would I pay for there wedding if they asked Me? Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

We paid for their dresses, but asked them the get shoes so they had ones they were comfy in, and were happy for me to paint.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I'm paying. This means I get final choice,but I'm working with her to find a dress she likes. If you ask that they pay,you can only give guidelines such as colour,length,general style. You can't pick the final dress when it's not your money you're spending

Katy Robertson
Katy Robertson 21 Aug 2017

I paid for dresses, they'll pay everything else.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

My sister is my maid of honour and she's kindly said she will pay for her own dress and I still get a say in what style x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

Mine are paying for their own dresses but they can choose their own dress, all I've said is the colour and preferably a long dress. The way I see it is they get to keep the dress after it and wear it again if they wanted, also if they didn't want to pay for it then I'd happily pay but it's my best friend and sister and they know money's tight x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

Hi! I have 4 bridesmaids and they are paying for her own dresses. But I just told them the colour I would like. Not the dress. I didn't feel right asking them for an specific dress if I am not paying for it

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I'm paying for mine but will be choosing a couple of options for them to choose from as I wouldn't want them to wear something they don't feel comfortable in. I think if they pay for their own then they should have more choice as it's their own money you are asking for them to part with so they can't be forced to buy a dress if they don't like it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

No ... if your making you're friends pay a part of YOU'RE wedding then no.
You want to get married you pay !

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

Of course I paid for the dresses, whats the alternative "Hi be my bridesmaid, but to do it, I want you to send a load of your money on a dress that I choose"
Personally I think you shouldn't ask someone to be your bridemaid, then ask them to pay for the dress! especially if you expect them to have no say in what dress they choose!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

i had bridesmaids and i put it to them if they wanted to be one theyd have to buy there own dress the ones that didnt want that didnt do it simple i told them the colour i wanted and the style was up to them its not wrong especially when u have very little money

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

We'll be paying, my fiancee's youngest will be in white with a sash matching my dress, same as my little cousin

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

My bridesmaids paid and I chose

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I paid i choice colour but wanted to know that they were comfortable so let them pick style x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I paid for there dresses shoes bags and fur shrugs totalling £70 each and 2 of my maids (I had 3) I paid to have there hair done 3rd already had hers done

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I'm paying for the dresses and having their hair and makeup done but I've asked them to get their own shoes!

Chealsie Reuter
Chealsie Reuter 21 Aug 2017

I'm paying for their dresses and maybe hair but they are paying for their shoes

Beccy Ridsdel
Beccy Ridsdel 21 Aug 2017

I wouldn't dream of asking my bridesmaids to pay for a dress that I chose and I wouldn't want to be a bridesmaid for someone who asked me to do that. It just sounds like a recipe for losing friends over money and your wedding isn't worth that.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I have 4 bridesmaids and 2 have offered to pay for them outright so that they can make whatever alterations they want after the wedding e.g. Shorten them and the other two are paying half. Because they are all contributing they do get a say in the decision making process, but ultimately my decision is final. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

We paid.. Consulted each bridesmaid about things that would make them feel super uncomfortable etc and found something was a happy medium and suitdd everyone.. So basically we got to pick the dresses but my bridesmaids felt like they had been consulted and listened to. Xx

Jessica Bateman
Jessica Bateman 21 Aug 2017

We have paid for shoes and dress, hair and make up we have made our minds up

Jayne Mallinson
Jayne Mallinson 21 Aug 2017

We are paying for dresses, hair and make up they are buying there own shoes.xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

All of my bridesmaids have offered to pay, I've given them a colour and general style to go with but aside from that am encouraging them to buy whichever dress they feel best in-it'll be theirs anyway! I am paying for their hair and shoes though x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

Never heard of bridesmaids paying for their own dresses I have 4 and I'll be paying for dresses hair and make-up

Chloejade Scholey
Chloejade Scholey 21 Aug 2017

I'm paying for dresses, they are paying for shoes and we are doing our own make up x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

We are paying for dresses shoes hair and makeup. I wouldn't have it any other way as I asked them to part of our day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I asked them to pay when I asked them to be my bridesmaids. Found a reasonable dress (both in terms of price and style) with three different tops so they could choose which one they like.

I'm paying for their jewellery, hair and make-up

Emily Vincent
Emily Vincent 21 Aug 2017

I can't believe people even ask this question? Of course you should pay! You have asked them to be YOUR bridesmaid! For YOUR wedding, why on earth would they pay?? Along with anything else you want done such as hair, makeup, shoes and accessories unless they insist on paying of course but definitely not the dress!

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 21 Aug 2017

I payed for my bridesmaids dresses You can't expect people to pay for your vision

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 21 Aug 2017

Traditionally the Bride (or her Father) pays for the bridesmaids dresses.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I paid but they're paying for everything else and paying for alterations bless them :)

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 21 Aug 2017

I am paying for their dresses and shoes but they are doing own hair and make up. I'm not getting my make up done (as one of the bridesmaids is doing it) xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Aug 2017

I asked this question once almost a year ago and got very similar answers. I have 5 bridesmaids and decided, in the end, to just talk with them directly. They all offered to pay for their dresses straight away and I gave a colour and that was it. They've all chosen something they feel comfortable in and all are very happy. Some even got theirs in the ASOS sale for less than £25. However, I have then paid for almost everything else - make up, hair, bags, jewellery, hair pieces etc etc. I think it's a very personal decision and no one else can help much because it's what's best for you and your bridesmaids in the end xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Aug 2017

I originally didn't want bridesmaids due to the cost as we were migrating to Australia shortly after our wedding. I then put it to my girls that if they wanted to could they pay for their dresses, they were all more than happy about it, they wanted me to choose dresses so I was sensible and looked on Asos. Found something they were all comfortable in. They wore whichever shoes they wanted and I paid for hair to be done. My girls wanted to take that role and wanted to be important on our big day and didn't mind at all paying £50 for their dresses as they know money can be tight and it was their choice. Xx

Lucy Robinson
Lucy Robinson 22 Aug 2017

I feel whether you're paying or they're, you should choose, it's your day. That being said, I'm paying for mine x

Sammi Louise
Sammi Louise 22 Aug 2017

I've paid for the 4 girls but then they are our children and they've had some input but not m7ch as to what they're wearing. My maid of honour is possibly using one she already owns if the colour matches if not I will pay for hers and she will probably be helping my choose what she wears...it will be an equal decision!

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 22 Aug 2017

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses. As far as I'm concerned I have asked them to be apart of my day therefore why should they endure a cost for that. I gave mine a choice of eight dresses - all different styles but the same colour - and they could pick whichever one they wanted and they didn't have to have the same dress. I found this quite helpful in keeping in budget.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

You pay unless you have explained when you asked them to be bridesmaid that they would have to. Can't surprise them with costs they didn't expect. It can cause drama. But you can choose colour and general style and get them to pick them together with your approval?

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