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UKbride Member Request 13 Aug 2017

Hello, So I am getting married in 2020 and have a little dilemma about when...

Hello, So I am getting married in 2020 and have a little dilemma about when to ask my bridesmaids. I know who I want and have done since getting engaged, but things can change so I didn't want to ask too early. So I wanted to ask either end of summer 2018 or December 2018. Reason being one of my bridesmaids gets married in November 2018 and I don't want her to think that I'm asking in the summer, before her wedding trying to take the spotlight away from her, so I was thinking of asking after her honeymoon in December 2018. What would you do?

30 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 13 Aug 2017

Hi I wouldn't ask an of them until 2019 good luck :)

Jaki Green
Jaki Green 13 Aug 2017

I agree with Lucy, I'd wait til 2019 x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

Gosh you really are over thinking things! I asked my bridesmaids straight away because I just don't like to live life thinking 'things might change' even though sometimes they do. But wait till 2019 if you feel like you should

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I'd chill out a bit! I hardly think your friend will feel like you're stealing her thunder just because you asked her to be your bridesmaid before she got married. As for asking them too soon....first thing we did was ask our bridal party. These girls are my lifelong friends so was I wasn't thinking "what if?".

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I'd ask straight away! If your friends really know you they'll understand that you're not stealing thunder, you're sharing your happiness x

Leanne Eden
Leanne Eden 13 Aug 2017

I asked my bridesmaids straight away x

Claire Rodgers
Claire Rodgers 13 Aug 2017

Just ask them im sure yours would be happy for you. One of mine was getting married before me when i asked her. Mine were all happy even though not all of them like each other lol x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I asked mine at my engagement party xx

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I'd just ask, I'm getting married in 2019, I've asked all mine & we are already planning to dress shop & going out so they can all get to know each other!!
xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I asked mine at engagement party. That was 3 years before the wedding xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I think you should just ask them.... but I would say if you think 'things could change' should you be asking then to be your bridesmaids at all? Xx

Bethany Underdown
Bethany Underdown 13 Aug 2017

i asked mine straight away but wasnt getting married as far away as you. i think by waiting you are being a very good friend by thinking of your friend who is getting married but im sure she wouldnt mind either way if shes as good a friend as you :) x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

We got engaged in 2014 and I asked mine straight away (a couple I left until I'd booked the wedding due to some family issues) we get married November this year. Nothing is stopping you all getting together with wedding magazines and Pinterest and having a fun planning/ideas night with wine. Me and my MOH did this as soon as I was engaged xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I asked mine with over a year to go and was a nightmare! I won't go into it on here but let's just say I asked ppl I trusted and loved and thought would be there for me but I had to change and after asking I had to just have less bridesmaids which worked out better in the end. I would only ask now if you are 100% sure they will stick by you and be there to support you. If you are unsure there is no reason you can't wait till 2019 as it's still a while away and anything can happen in 2 years. Good luck

E Wilson
E Wilson 13 Aug 2017

I asked mine straight away. She got married last year and I was her maid of honour she is about to have her first baby. She did not feel like I was stealing her thunder in asking her to be her to be mine. She is my best friend so we are happy and excited for each other.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

For my experience things do change with friendships so unless you are 100% sure that person will still be one of your besties in 2020 (I.e a childhood friend) I'd hold fire x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

It takes a year to plan a wedding. One year. You will drive yourself mad if you start fretting about things now. You've got three years to go until a wedding!!! Your intended bridesmaids could all be pregnant or moved away before then.

Kate Rebecca
Kate Rebecca 13 Aug 2017

Leave it for now. I asked mine more or less straight away and wish I'd waited. If I'd given myself more time it could have been so much more special than a throwaway 'You're going to be my bridesmaid, right?'

Francesca Nicholls
Francesca Nicholls 13 Aug 2017

I'm getting married in 2019. We got engaged on 11th July and all my bridesmaids were asked within a week x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I get married 2020 and asked mine straight away incase they book holidays etc. Also one of mine was planing on having a baby around my wedding but, when I asked her to be bridesmaid she is putting it back a few month before trying.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

Ask as soon as you want. They will be happy for you. You could ask.the one getting married to be matron of honour

Lily Bermingham
Lily Bermingham 13 Aug 2017

I'm getting married in 2019 and only asked my maid of honour, my best friend. Not planning on doing anything with the other bridesmaid till a year to the date (lots of things can change!) xx

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 13 Aug 2017

My sister didn't even ask any of us

Lou Rowlands
Lou Rowlands 13 Aug 2017

I am getting married aug 2020 an i have asked mine already x

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 13 Aug 2017

I'm getting married may 2020 and I've already asked mine. They are friends I've had for years, my step daughter and my nieces x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

Already asked mine and I'm getting married May 2020

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Aug 2017

I can understand the what ifs, I asked one of my oldest friends to be my maid of honour, she didn't turn up to anything and another two friends one who wasn't a bridesmaid sorted my hen, which my maid of honour decided she wasn't coming to, on the day. She left the wedding early as she met a man and a year later we fell out once and for all as she did something completely unforgivable.

I would wait until 2019 personally ad things can change.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Aug 2017

I get married in 2019 and haven't asked mine yet as feel it's way too soon

Dee Seaton
Dee Seaton 17 Aug 2017

We are getting married 2020 too and have asked maid of honour straight away. Although to be honest didn't have to ask as she's my best friend and knew the spot was hers haha . Will ask the others end of this year, beginning of next as we want them involved in planning too

Jessica Bateman
Jessica Bateman 18 Aug 2017

I asked straight away! I had cards made asking them to be my bridesmaids. Chill out and good luck x

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