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UKbride Member Request 7 Aug 2017

Hi- we are getting married next year and have had our date booked for a...

Hi- we are getting married next year and have had our date booked for a couple of years now. Earlier this year, my H2B's sister decided that they were getting married next year also- a couple months before us. I'm not going to raise an issue and cause any drama, but I am a bit miffed, as I feel like it's a bit of a 'steal your thunder' type move (my H2B feels the same). As I personally wouldn't get married the same year as my sister, especially not just before them after they had their date set for so long. As I said, I'm not going to cause an issue over it, was just wondering if It's ok to be secretly a bit peed off!?

47 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 7 Aug 2017

HI it's ok to feel like that but don't worry about it :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Personally think it's a bit bridezilla, embrace it and enjoy it, no two weddings are going to be the same! My nephew got married 5 months before us (my nephew is only 7 years younger than me) and it was great enjoyed his wedding then looked forward to ours! Personally I'd just be happy for her that she was getting married. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

They probably just picked a date that suited them, same as you did. My brother and stepbrother got married the same weekend, one on the Saturday, one on the Sunday with no drama. It's ridiculous to expect people to plan their lives around you, let alone delay their wedding for a whole year because of petty jealousy.

Jane Webb
Jane Webb 7 Aug 2017

I know how you feel my sister and my mum have done the same to me but luckily mine is first but id still be a little peed off x

Jaki Green
Jaki Green 7 Aug 2017

Definitely! I'd be screwing!
I have friends who've been engaged for years and planned my date after theirs!
Different years too! x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

If hers is first then enjoy it, you will know how expensive weddings can be and how stressful they are too organise especially doing it yourself. Use it as an example. Any little thing you think didn't run smoothly you can make sure it does for your day. When it gets to your day there's will be a distant memory and people can enjoy yours. I don't think your being bridezilla I'd feel the same. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Perhaps the fact that you've even asked this question suggests that you could be a bit cooler about it? If you look at the other perspective, you now have someone to help you with wedding planning, you can share ideas and talk about how excited you both are. Your fiancé is getting married the same year as his sister, that's pretty cool in my book. Just think, it's happening and there's nothing you can do to change it so you may as well see the positives and enjoy your moment

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

It's not like it's the same day? Don't get what the problem is

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

But it wasn't just your sil choice , maybe the date has some significance to her fiancé family ... your wedding doesn't not blank out the whole year for others, why not embrace it and enjoy the panning together ...
After I got engaged a co worker announced his engagement and planned his wedding for 5 months before mine and at the same venue .... we had great fun on coffee breaks etc comparing notes .... maybe I should have banned him from 'MY ' venue

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

I can see where you're coming from and I think a lot of people would feel the same! Somehow it's different when family do it, whereas when friends pick a date near yours it's not too bad! I'd be more annoyed if someone did that and picked the same venue etc!

Just think.... your wedding will have your own loves and little special things you've picked to make it your own and different to anyone else's! They'll remember yours for being your wedding, not that it was the same year as theirs! They'll have forgotten theirs by the time yours comes round.

Kirstie Calvert
Kirstie Calvert 7 Aug 2017

It's a wedding day not a wedding year, I wouldn't have an issue if my sister did this. I'd just be excited for her and then you can always do evenings in with a bottle of something getting ideas for things together x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

I would be. She could have had hers after yourz

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Does it really matter. Your marrying the person you love. That's what it's all about. It's not a competition lol

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

We announced our wedding for November then my brother booked his for the May before ours. It's no big deal, as long as you're getting married and no one's falling out it's not a problem.
I was just happy for my little brother and his now wife, they're perfect for each other and them getting married was such wonderful news.
You're still going to get your wedding day so I don't see the issue.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

I wouldn't be upset if I'm honest. If it was the same week then OK yeah it'd be a annoying perhaps, but a couple of months difference wouldn't be an issue. The only issue to me would be that I'd feel bad for all my family having to fork out loads of money for outfits and wedding stuff in such a short space of time lol. They won't be stealing your thunder at all. You're getting married on different days and I'm sure they'll be completely different weddings and you'll have an amazing day xx

Bethan Roberts
Bethan Roberts 7 Aug 2017

Yeah deffo. We've had our wedding booked since Feb 2017 for August 2019 and then my h2b's close friend booked their wedding a August 2018 on exactly the same date! Fuming wasn't the word, but hey ho what can you do if people wanna be so spiteful?!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Of course you're allowed to feel the way you do but it doesn't have to ruin anything. Don't make a big deal out of it. Embrace it and carry on planning. Good luck x

Helen Mount
Helen Mount 7 Aug 2017

Weddings are not about the thunder, they are about the couple and the marriage that follows x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

I don't see why it matters. You're marrying your soulmate and your day is totally separate to theirs. Just enjoy your day and let them enjoy theirs. Be happy for them. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

I don't think it's a steal your thunder move. You decided to have a longer time planning your wedding and your H2B's sister and her partner obviously dont want to do that. Just because you've decided to get married in that year doesn't mean that no one else you know shouldn't.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Personally it wouldn't bother me, the same day yeah but couple of months before I don't really see the issue? Just think, hers will be over and you'll still have yours to look forward to.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

When me and husband got together we got on so well and really wanted to propose but there was 2 weddings that year one in my family one in his he waited both their weddings were done and waited few months after New Year's Eve to be precise to pop the question so it didn't take away from their days think it's a little inconsiderate to book wedding just before yours there no race but considering they knew yours was booked us band out of order

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

We got married in June this year. Only reason I'll be a bit pissed is because the planning especially the couple of months before the wedding is the most exciting part, having your friends and family round helping and hen dos and guest lists and DIY bits! If I had a sister that was getting married a couple of months before me I'd feel I wouldn't be able really get involved with my own until hers was over. It sounds selfish but that's how I'd feel. I'm sure she would be all wedded out after hers as well. I know I've been glad of the wedding break as wonderful as it was! X

Kim Louise Taylor
Kim Louise Taylor 7 Aug 2017

It's not something I would do personally, however it's their choice when they get married. Some people like to get married sooner rather than later, it's just personal choice. I've had friends get engaged after me but got married before me, it's no big deal x

Joanne Lay-Treen
Joanne Louise Treen 7 Aug 2017

I dont see a problem tbh me an my cuz both get married next yr mines june cuzs is july so nt far apart either really but our wedding wil b our day n cus wil b hers. Both speical an looking forward to my day an seein my beaut cuz get wed month after 2 family partys sounds gd 2 me xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

I really don't understand this. If my sister had got married the week before me I wouldn't have cared. Think your best off just concentrating on your own wedding and don't let it bother you xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Just out of interest why wouldn't you get married in the same year as your sister? I'm getting married in the same year as my brother and it doesn't bother me at all. I might be a bit miffed if i booked mine first and then he booked his for before mine but i wouldn't be bothered that they were in the same year (my brother booked his first and is getting married in march, i booked mine after but for october and i felt that was a nice enough gap) x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Course it is. I was peed off when my sister in laws mate got married this year and they got engaged well after us, like a year after us.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Think of it this way ? If she goes first, you get the last laugh because you can see faults in her wedding and make sure they don't happen in yours x

Lindsay Coombes
Lindsay Coombes 7 Aug 2017

My H2Bs sister is getting married a month after us. It's 2 completely different events celebrating love. Get over it and enjoy your day, it might be nice to have someone to bounce ideas off!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

We are getting married 6 weeks after his brother. They got engaged before us so we didn't feel right getting married before them. The reason we are having ours so soon afterwards is because FH is in the army and based in Germany, we are not allowed to live together until we are married so obviously wanted to do it sooner rather than later. We talked to them about it before setting the date and they completely understood. That being said I do understand why you would be annoyed, It's a shitty move to pull if there is no circumstance that is forcing you to rush a wedding.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Can't understand why this would bother anyone, it's not like she's chosen your actual date, just the same year, sheesh. Surely this is to be expected really, people tend to get married all around the same time as people they know, as they're at the same stage in life.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

It happened to me my wedding was planned 18 months prior and then 3 months before my sister decides to get married on my hen night! So day time we went to ceremony night time I went with all my hens in the evening.... we had a ball! (I had 2 hen nights) so it didn't spoil it!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Hi, my h2b's sister is getting married the same year as us, but I'm looking forward to seeing her wedding (plus it gets us a night off from our children for once ) try and think of it as a positive and an day/evening out for you and your h2b with aĺl the family. I understand you feel miffed about it but try and enjoy yourselves there and hope that she enjoys herself at yours x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

People are actually pathetic. You don't own the year worry about your own lives instead of others . People can get married when they like don't need others permission

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Think posts like this are hilar... everyone jumping on the bandwagon. I would be seriously peeved off too! I would hate this to happen to me

Joanne Lay-Treen
Joanne Louise Treen 7 Aug 2017

I dont see a problem tbh me an my cuz both get married next yr mines june cuzs is july so nt far apart either really but our wedding wil b our day n cus wil b hers. Both speical an looking forward to my day an seein my beaut cuz get wed month after 2 family partys sounds gd 2 me xxxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Yes definitely be pissed my husband and I set our date and after we got engaged in a couple of months my sil got engaged the once we set our date she tried to set the date for her wedding for 3 days before ours she then she changed it. Then the week before ours her and my husbands father tried to break me and my husband up. Even on the day of our wedding my husbands 2 sisters made threats to kill me we didn't retaliate on the day she then got married a few months after us and didn't even ask my husband (her own brother) to her wedding we had his whole family at ours. I haven't spoken to any of them since about a month after ours

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

I genuinely feel really bummed after reading these comments. It doesn't matter who is getting married when, just be happy for them. Life is already so shitty in so many ways, why make what should be one of life's highlights so negative? I got engaged last October and I'm getting married this October. I wouldn't care if my second cousin's sisters dogs mate got married before me but engaged after me. Who gives a flying fuck? Enjoy life and be pleasant

Jayne Timmins
Jayne Timmins 7 Aug 2017

yes I probably would be annoyed but I think you just have to let it go and focus on your own x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

On your day, do something different that will make your day 'extra special,' and that your guests will remember, so your extra special 'something,' will stand out as being 'extra special,' so in years down the line, you could say, that on your wedding day, you had an 'extra special something,' that no-one knew about, until on the day:-)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Aug 2017

I'm getting married June nxt year and just found out a few weeks ago my wee brother and his fiancée are getting married in April ..I'm personally over the moon for them both and wish them every happiness ..although neither of us knew about the others plans ..but even if we had I'd still feel the same xxx

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 8 Aug 2017

Me and my sister both got engaged within a month my sister got engaged first so she chose what year she wanted 2019 so I chose 2018 and is basically using my wedding as a test run which I'm completely fine with

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Aug 2017

Tbf to you I think I would feel the same at first, especially as you've had it booked for some time. Something similar has happened to me BUT it's done now. Just concentrate on your own wedding and try not to dwell on it xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Aug 2017

Yes be secretly peeved, burn if there's is first make sure yours is better!! (Secret evil cackle!) x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Aug 2017

You could always compare notes along the way, but all the time make sure that your wedding is just that bit better than hers. That'll teach her to nip in a couple of months before you hee hee . Seriously though - it is natural to be miffed. You're only human and it's meant to be your special day. But it's done now so there's not much you can do about it. You just have to be the bigger person and don't let her see that it bothers you. Focus on enjoying your planning otherwise it really WILL spoil your day and you'll look back in years to come & remember it for all the wrong reasons XxXx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 10 Aug 2017

I married in May and my sister married in July the same year we did not have an issue about marrying within 2 months of each other.Just enjoy your day xx

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