Jessica Preston
Jessica Preston 6 Aug 2017

I need to cut down 2 of my bridesmaids.. they arent immediate family or...

I need to cut down 2 of my bridesmaids.. they arent immediate family or close friends.. there my cousins who i have no bond with but had to ask them due to family pride. im now cutting back due to it being unfair that all my family are bridesmaids but my partners arent bar 2.. how do i approach my 2 cousins to tell them but without it kicking off.

18 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Aug 2017

If they love you as much as mine cousins do me they would totally understand... I'm lucky with my two bridesmaids they are my cousins but my best friends too xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Aug 2017

You probably should have thought of that first? It's out of order to ask people then unask them, sounds like a very childish thing to do.

Sarah Farley
Sarah Farley 6 Aug 2017

TBH I think it's a bit harsh. You obviously asked them because you wanted them in the first place? I'm sure how to handle telling them they can't be BM's now x

Bethan Roberts
Bethan Roberts 6 Aug 2017

Why does it matter how many are from your side and how many are from his? It's not about being 'fair' it's about having who you want to have. You can't really put it nicely when telling someone you no longer want them as a bridesmaid if they haven't done anything wrong 🙄

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Aug 2017

Your wedding. You can have who you want.
Your not close so explain to them that sadly you will have to not have them as bridesmaids.but you look forward to them being guests at your wedding.
You don't have to explain why you dont want them. Its personal.
If they love you and think anything of you they will understand.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Aug 2017

Just explain that due to certain things (invent something if you have to) that you have to limit the number in the wedding party & if they're true friends they'll understand.

Siobhan Ireland
Siobhan Ireland 6 Aug 2017

I don't understand why you would ask them anyway?? It's pretty childish to ask someone then unask them!! However you should maybe mention that money is tight and you would rather they come as guests....

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Aug 2017

I had 2 of my other halfs family as bridesmaids and none of mine. I did have 2 of my closest friends though. Its your wedding you have who you want as what. But i do think its unfair to ask them then drop them for no reason of their own

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Aug 2017

Say you can't afford it

Catriona White
Catriona White 6 Aug 2017

That's tough. I agree with others that you really should have thought this through a little more to avoid what is an undeniably awkward situation. However you are where you are. Think long and hard about un-asking them; they might be upset and even annoyed (you said you're not close) and that might have repercussions within the family. Truthfully if you're asked no them to step down I'd give them a reason, grovel a bit (maybe take them to lunch) and expect a bumpy road. Hope things work out.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Aug 2017

I don't think you should have felt pressured to ask them in the 1st place but you did. So I think it would be mean to bin them now... try seeing if the BM'S will pay for their own dresses shoes etc to cut down ur costs.... it is your day but to ask then unask wee bit off....

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Aug 2017

I'm in this situation at the moment but I haven't got it in me to tell them. What I do know is that on the day when they're all amazing I will have no regrets x

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 7 Aug 2017

You know bridesmaids are meant to be from your side groomsmen from his . You cant unask someone that's cruel

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Think you might have to two extra

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Ask them to take a different role ?
BUT this is why you shouldn't rush into asking people yo be bridesmaids without thinking first .... you don't need to choose or ask them the minute you are engaged

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

I had to cut bridesmaids due to costs as we didn't expect to be getting married so soon, if they are that close with you they won't care... It's not childish to unask someone situations change. It's not like you're uninviting them to the actual wedding... If they don't understand or like your decision then they obviously don't deserve to be your bridesmaids it's about you and your partner not them x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Aug 2017

Don't just have two extra x

Joanne Lay-Treen
Joanne Louise Treen 7 Aug 2017

Harsh tbh

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