My partner wants a huge wedding no expenses spared and I want a small wedding with just close family and a few friends. He thinks I should want a big white wedding and I don't know what to do now wedding plans wise because I know it is his day too but I just want to be his wife, I don't particularly want a big fancy white wedding with lots of people and thousands upon thousands of pounds spent on one day when the extra money saved from a smaller wedding could go to a longer honeymoon or deposit on our new home. What do I do?
Sit down and have an honest chat with the aim of meeting somehere in the middle? While it will be a special day, it is only one day, and the little extra towards deposit etc will help you more in the future.
Have you sat him down and rationally explained your reasons why? Maybe you could compromise and budget halfway? x
Hi I agree with the other two answers you have to speak to him and make him realize that you really want a small wedding good luck :)
We have this debate i want big and he wants small so we compromising with intimate ceremony with big reception party xx
me and my fiancé just want a small one but other interfering for a big one talk to him and explain ypur reasons
We're having a small ceremony and meal with just parents siblings and a couple of friends then a reception with everyone else
You need a compromise. I wanted to elope just us, he wanted a big wedding with everyone there. Our compromise was a medium sized wedding (60 day guests) so that it is just family and close friends. It needs to be a bit of what both of you want and you need to be realistic about budget...can you afford a massive white wedding with loads of people? If not then your htb needs to come back down to earth a bit. It isnt about making him realise what you want its about finding a balance. You just need to have the conversation and come up with a compromise that suits you both.
You've got to be honest with him.
If you see the day as just becoming his wife and the 'big white wedding' not bothering you why not just have one? I mean if your saying it doesn't matter either way then do it for him, maybe it's because he wants to show you off 😀
I was in the same situation as u. He wanted the big wedding and I didn't. We had the big white wedding and I loved it. We had it as at the beginning of our relationship he told me that when he will get married that's what he wants. Was unusual for a man and that stuck with me. We had the big white wedding and I am happy we did as I loved it as much as him although it was a pain to organize and costed a fortune an more 😂 only you 2 can decide. Life is about compromising. For me my husband compromises every day so it was easy for me to just do it once for him 😂😂😂
Just be honest and explain that a big wedding doesn't interest you, you just want to marry him, but ask if there is any particular thing he's like to be involved or place he'd like to marry at and maybe compromise that way? I'm with you, id just want a small intimate wedding too x
Marriage requires compromise. So speak to one another and find a happy medium. Zx
Talk openly and come to a compromise. Important you can do this if you're planning on marrying each other.
You could get married near Christmas & save yourself an absolute fortune. The packages in hotels are so so much cheaper then. On the size you could have your nearest & dearest there for the ceremony & invite everyone to the evening? Or book somewhere miles away where guests will have to stay over 2 nights, the people that should be there will travel & pay for a hotel, anyone not that fussed will whittle themselves off the list.
My fiance and I were the same, he wanted a big wedding, I wanted tiny, we have compromised on medium sized in quite an intimate, modest venue. We are also buying a house so for example, we have gone all out on food and drink but we'll keep spending on dresses/suits to a minimum and I'm going to do the flowers myself, we aren't having cars etc. We are getting married in a pub http://www.barn-pub-rest.co.uk/
So tell him that? Try and compromise somehow
The best way will be to compromise on both sides xxx good luck with the planning!
You are right it is about being husband and wife,not how much you spend on the day,people forget weddings but a special honeymoon is something you both will never forget,all the stress and hassle for a few hours when at the end of the day it's about becoming one,you can still have white dress and nice party without spending a fortune xxx
Try and meet in the middle somehow? Good luck x
Compromise! I felt exactly the same as you. We're having more people than I wanted but I got the venue I love & I'm sorting most of the details. Your marriage will be full of compromises, so sit down together & talk it out. Good luck!
We were in same position, I wanted small and intimate, h2b wanted big and lavish, we met in middle, it's bigger than i want but smaller than he wants. We settled on 60, 20 of that is us, bridal party and immediate family, so left us 20 guests each. We changed the day to midweek, amazing how much the price drops for most, if not everything from a sat/sun wedding, I chose 2 bm's, 1 from each side and we having no groomsmen or ushers, only a best man, good luck x
Meet in the middle. Maybe more people but cheaper? Maybe more expense on what you want but keep the numbers low?
My fiancé wants a big white wedding and I just want a small, intimate wedding. I was more than happy to go away to a registry office somewhere else in the country however he wasn't too keen. He keeps saying it will be nice to show off but I'm not one for attention. I was very much the same of the money saved could go on a really nice honeymoon. But he has won. We paid the deposit on a venue he wants (it is very nice, just a lot of money we could have saved). My comprise was he has to plan it with me because he wants it and there are to be no flowers and he has to have the bigger entrance. I'm just more focused on becoming his wife. And that's what is going to get me through the planning and hopefully the big day itself when I'm walking down the aisle.
I am in the same situation I don't know what to do either it's such an important thing. I am trying not to think about it too much hoping in the end I'll get my way