I lost my dad nearly 4 years ago so my wedding day is going to be a difficult time for me as I always imagined he'd be there. My mum has now got a new boyfriend, he's a really nice guy and looks after my mum. I'm really happy for them. However my mum is pushing me to have him say with her on the top table, I don't want that though, I've nothing against him but I just don't want any other man in the place where my father should be sitting. Am I being unreasonable saying he can't sit on the top table? Has anyone else had a similar situation?
Sorry to hear about your Dad. Four years is not a long time so things will still be quite raw for you and I can completely understand your feelings. You are going to miss your Dad on your special day but maybe you can help things by making sure your Mum is happy. If you like this guy and you know he will not try to take your Dad's place then personally I see no harm in him being on the top tale. If your Mum is on her own then the void will be all the more apparent.
Hi to make things easier why don't you have a sweetheart table instead where only the bride and groom sit, this is becoming more popular :)
I am sorry to hear about your dad. I can totally understand where you are coming from but maybe your mum is wanting him on the table with her for his support as she would never have imagined your wedding without your dad there too. Talk to her and see what she says. You may be able to come to a compromise together x
Just speak to your mum and let her know how you feel, be kind but firm.
If you don't want him to sit there then say that xx
Why don't you suggest parents host a table each and then just have top table for you two and bridesmaids and best man ?
Maybe try and have a table with you, your groom and your bridesmaids/groomsmen. We are doing this to avoid politics as we have 2 sets of divorced parents.
Whatever you decide will be lovely I'm sure.
I agree with Jayne ... have just urselves and bridesmaid/best man and let them host their own tables ...
I'm in a similar position. I would always want my mum to feel happy and supported and I know he will not try to take my dad's place. In the end at the wedding, I doubt you would think he was taking anyone's place and it may also help you grow closer to him as well as you show your trust in him.
No you are not. It's what you want my love no one else xx
Just be open with him. I'm sure if he's a decent bloke he will fully understand. I couldn't imagine anyone in place of my dad either xxx
Why dont u afd an extra chair on top table leave it empty for ur dad with a picture so hell still be in place on ur day and let ur mums partner be with ur mum but it all dependa how long her n her new partner have been together of theyve been gether year or more let him just sit him on the end next to ur mum n ur dads empty chair next to you xx
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It's your wedding and i feel the best thing to do is tell your mum why you don't want her new boyfriend on the top table. She should understand. You can then seat him on a table very close to the top table. Normally as well the way the top tables are seated is that you mix the bride and grooms parents up so he wouldn't be sat next to her anyway if that's the style you are going for. End of the day it's your wedding, you do what feels best and it's only for a short time you're asking them to sit apart. Good luck xx
Have top table as bride then on your side MH, bridesmaids and then groom next to you and BM and groomsmen to his side xx then special table for parents and maybe grandparents xx
I lost my dad 7 years ago so totally understand. Always thought he'd be there too a d the thoughts of him not are ever emotional. My mum doesn't have a new partner however I truly believe I would allow him to sit with her if she did. It will be very emotional for her too and the support would be welcome I'm sure. Each to their own though but please remember your mum has many memories with your dad and you too. I hope you find your solution and best of luck for your special day xx
No I think u shud do it ur way as it's ur day I listened to every1 else and it was not the way I wanted it on my wedding day today is my 5 year wedding anniversary and still wish I done things my way and not listened to any1 else xx
Totally get where you're coming from...my dad passed away 3 years ago and I'm getting married next week! We were going to have a top table with my step dad up there with my mum (they've been married for 10 years) and my step mum and my sister but after a few problems with my other halfs family who are also divorced we decided to scrap the top table and have a 'sweetheart table' (a table for just the two of us) instead and have everyone else on round tables... I think it's a great idea cuz I've heard that you don't actually get to see your new husband/wife much on the day cuz you're both so busy mingling so doing this will be a great opportunity to take it all in after the ceremony 😊👍🏼
Awww this is sad for you.
I would suggest having a sweetheart table or table of bridal party. This way you will not upset your mum and she can still sit with her partner, and you also don't have the heart ache of someone else sitting in that seat. I think that would be best? Otherwise either you or your mum will be upset and you want thinks to run as smoothly as possible. Maybe your mum wants her new bf there next to her so she also doesn't feel sad about your dad not being there!
Could you find space for both? Maybe a chair at the end facing down the table with a pic of your dad? Id say your mum is probs wanting the support herself.xx
You can leave a spare place and put a nice sign to say that the space is reserved for those that cant be there etc. Tou could stull have your mums bf just sit him where he would sit as a step dad
Both my parents are remarried but I won't be having either of my step parents on top table.
You're not unreasonable hun
I don't think it's unreasonable, you just need to sit down and explain what you've just said, but to them. I should imagine her boyfriend would be understanding hun maybe after speaking to your mom she will understand or explain to you why she wants it xx
Maybe talk to them both I'm sure he will understand. And so will your mum. At the end of the day it's your wedding and they should respect your wishes. Xx
I'd pop both your mum and her partner on another table, one close by, I can see exactly why you wouldn't want him on your table but I can also see why your mum would like to sit next to them. I think given the circumstances your mum should be understanding of that.
Sorry for your loss xxxx
I make u right their cos I would be the same
Sorry to hear about your dad. Maybe you could have something on the top table to represent where your dad would have been and put an extra seat in for your mums boyfriend? Not sure what it would look like just a thought. I'm sure it must be hard for mum too though so sit an have a chat about it with her and see if you can compromise x
I lost my dad 2.5 years ago and got married 3 weeks ago. My mum has a new partner but he sat on a table with my aunts and uncles. Although he sat with my mum in the church I just didn't want him on the top table. My brother gave me away so he sat in my dads seat. Don't worry about traditions, do what makes you happy and what feels right. Remember, it's your day.
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. It's a tough one. My hubby's parents are divorced and both have new spouses. We chose to have his parents and their spouses on the top table with us. The spouses took the places of the best man and maid of honour on the top table, the bridesmaids and groomsmen Inc the best man and maid of honour sat at a table together. What I'm trying to say is, it is entirely up to you who sits on the top table, but I know both my hubby's parents would have been offended and upset if we hadn't included their spouses on the top table. We chose to keep the peace. The last thing we wanted was hurt feelings and a bad atmosphere on the day. Would it be so much of a problem to have him on the top table? He doesn't have to sit next to you (where your dad would have sat). Maybe sit your h2b parents next to you and your mum and her partner next to your h2b? Xx
Get a big framed picture of your dad and put it in the chair so then he is on the top table with you! It's your table you have who you want put mams boyfriend on the table in front x
Top table for u two and a photo of your dad on your table xxx
I personally don't understand all this top take stuff .... surely if you are going to a wedding as a couple you want to sit together I will have neither my mum or dad at my wedding I will have my 2 sisters and I would never dream of not putting their husbands on the same table
I lost my dad in 2011 and my partner lost his mum we are only having a limited number on the top table so not to show favouritism . Do what you want. It's your wedding