Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 26 Jul 2017

I really want a videographer for our wedding my partner does not . He is a...

I really want a videographer for our wedding my partner does not . He is a professional videographer and so are 4 of his friends who are invited to the wedding we've looked at several and he isn't happy with the quality of any of them so I told him to ask one of his work friends to do it for us but they have downright refused as they said they actually want to enjoy this wedding but do you like me find this incredibly rude as it's not their wedding to enjoy it's ours and it would make my day more enjoyable as I'll have the memories . What you think ? Because my partner has no isssue with them saying no

30 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 26 Jul 2017

Hi I don't think it is rude at all they will want to enjoy your day, they don't want a busman's holiday. It will not make your day more enjoyable :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

You can't invite your friends to your wedding and then ask them to work. How rude!!
Either find somebody independant or go without

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

They're invited guests,it's rude on your part. Go without, it won't add anything to your day

Rhiannon Robson
Rhiannon Robson 26 Jul 2017

I don't think it is rude, as if they are working they aren't really a guest anymore, however, if your partner is being fussy with other options he should be making an effort to find someone who is good enough. You could maybe ask his colleagues if they can help research or if they know anyone to recommend X

Linda Paterson
Linda Paterson 26 Jul 2017

You can't expect them to do it for you. I think you're being rude, not them. If you really want one maybe compromise with your other half and only have one for a certain part of the day.

Lesley Smith
Lesley Smith 26 Jul 2017

As they are invited as guests they want to be a guest. You should have asked one to do the job before inviting them. Basically you are saying the only people allowed to enjoy the day are you and your h2b. Why invite people if they are not allowed to enjoy the day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

That's rude on your behalf. You can't invite people as guests then expect them to work.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

I actually think you're being very rude and bridezillary..Lol..yes it's your wedding to enjoy..but your partners friends are watching their best mate get married..they want to enjoy it as well as its memories for them too...you can't invite them and expect them to work. Chill. It's not the end of the world ...its a wedding at the end of the day..all that matters is marrying your best friend..as long as the guests take loads of photos you will have memories. That's all that matters. Doesn't have to be perfect x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

They want to enjoy the day and celebrate it with you and your husband. That's what guests do. It's rude of you to now demand after inviting them that they work it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

wow ...

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

Not rude at all, although your attitude is!

We have made a point not to ask anyone to do anything at our wedding - we WANT everyone to relax, enjoy it and have a fab day...

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

I have been the person asked to help at a wedding (I'm in events) and didn't get the chance to enjoy anything or even eat. I felt as though I'd only been invited so they could get free services.

Making your guests feel like this is not something I would want to risk.

Siobhan Ireland
Siobhan Ireland 26 Jul 2017

I actually think you are being quite rude expecting them to do it. That's like asking your mum, dad, sister etc if they were a photographer to get the photos...they are a part of the wedding aswell. They want to enjoy it. I would highly recommend a videographer though!! Glad we got one ☺️ they catch bits you don't see on the day. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

I think they have every right to say No I think it's very selfish to expect them to do just because it's their job !!!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

Your being incredibly rude his friends want to enjoy their freinds special day I got married last year I didn't have one at my wedding and haven't missed it at all go without you'll save tons

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

Sorry didn't mean to put angry face my son grabbed my phone I think the best thing to do would be leave your h2b in charge of finding a videographer so they meet his standards as you may get disheartened if he rejects every one you find?? That way you both are satisfied?? Xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

I don't think it's rude of them at all. If they are invited as guests then you are inviting them to enjoy your day. It sounds like you are essentially asking them to do their job for free. My dad does wedding photography but we are paying for a photographer as he wants to enjoy the day and doesn't want the pressure. We have asked a member of the bridal party to film our day but aren't expecting anything too spectacular just key parts. Had they said no then we may have just put the camera on a tripod. We're not forcing them to do it. If you want a professional videographer then you'll have to come to an agreement with your partner.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

I've had offers from photographers that are friends, but I don't want them to. I feel that I want them to enjoy my day just as much as I will. And I would like them in pictures, not the one taking them. They're not being rude at all.

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 26 Jul 2017

As these are friends invited I wouldn't expect them to work as they will want to enjoy the day with you both. I do think though there needs to be some compromise with your H2B if you want a videographer and he needs to find someone he is happy with or you might regret not having one x

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 26 Jul 2017

All my friends who have had a videographer say it's a must more than having a photographer as they never look at their photos but watch video all the time and see stuff they didn't get to see on the day . Also they've not been invited yet just a save the date . I wouldn't even mind paying one of them to do it . My thoughts are that my sister is getting married year after me and if she asked my h2b or even me to do it for her we would in a heartbeat

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 26 Jul 2017

Also to add they not that good friends literally never met any of them

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 26 Jul 2017

And his dad is doing the photography for free because it's his job I don't see the difference

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

Omg so much stress for one flipping day I'm so glad my H2B is organising everything so all I have to do is turn up ️️️️

Amy B
Amy B 26 Jul 2017

They're not being rude.. and if your H2B doesn't want a videographer, and you're struggling to find one, perhaps don't have one?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

I can see both sides of this as I'm a videographer myself, I have done a few things for friends and family where they have asked me to film it but also be a guest and enjoy the event as well. Unfortunately I have since realised that you simply can't, you either have to be a complete professional which means you do miss out and you don't really enjoy the actual event, or you have to just be a guest with no filming at all. It might be a case of they just want to enjoy a wedding for once instead of working, however why not ask them if they can recommend any companies that they know of at the same or similar quality and style that they offer.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Jul 2017

It's not rude.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jul 2017

One of my best friends is a photographer and I didn't have her photograph my wedding, I wanted her there as a guest to be able to enjoy her day not to be working it and missing out, maybe ask ur h2b to recommend one that he knows of it is his wedding too so maybe u should be mind full of his wishes too

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jul 2017

I think something like videography is really hands on and they wouldn't be able to leave it all day or relax and let their hair down, so it is quite understandable that they don't want to. I've asked a friend to be our pianist and SIL to be my hairdresser in the knowledge that once they have finished they can enjoy having a drink and a dance. A videographer couldn't really do this!

Jayne Timmins
Jayne Timmins 29 Jul 2017

Do they know of anyone else they could recommend who is not invited to the wedding?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Jul 2017

Husband doesnt want one. You TOLD him to make a friend do it as its their job (no mention of asking if they would mind being hired aka paid to do it). You're upset they said no. Get a grip. If you came into my office as a total stranger with am attitude like this i would turn you down. You're being incredibly rude, selfish and demanding. They have every right not to work every wedding they are ever invited to just because of their profession. Jeez.

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