Hi, I'm getting married next year but haven't chosen any bridesmaids yet. I've got a few friends I've known all my life and I would like them all to be my bridesmaids but lately I've felt like they aren't true friends and don't consider me as their friend. They are always cancelling plans and never rescheduling. They are all engaged as well and haven't asked me to be a bridemaid at their weddings. I'm really hurt they didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid and I feel that if they truly consider me as a best friend they would have asked me. Instead I've been left out in all their dress shopping/fittings and everything. They are always saying I'm their best friend but it really doesn't feel like it. I want to ask them to be my bridesmaids but a small part of me feels like why should I ask them when they didn't ask me, they clearly don't consider me to be a part of the group. But if I don't ask them I have no other friends to ask and I'll be left with no bridesmaids. What do I do? Xx
I am not having any friends, just sister, step daughter to be, and my god children x
I'm just having my sister and his sister ... cant be dealing wit any added drama on our day
Better to have none than fake friends . Do you have any children to be flower girls ? They would be much nicer xx
I am having my sister in law to be and i'm also having a best an too so all in all ask family members less drama and it a good thing x
I'm not having my friends as bridesmaids. I love them, and think a lot of them, and may get them to do a reading, but my sister, daughter and niece will be bridesmaids.
You need to be happy on your day, it's not about keeping others happy Hun. Good luck xxx
Do you have any female relatives you could ask instead?
I'm having my daughters and my fiance's niece as my bridesmaids because I don't want to be let down by so called "friends" on my special day. Go with what you feel love and sod the rest xx
I'm having no bridesmaids. Only my daughter as flower girl. X
Think you've answered your own question with everything you feel x you don't have to have bridesmaids, page boys??? X
Well the first thing you do is stop and take a breath
Could always have male friends instead.... Your female friends don't sound like they'd be good bridesmaids to you. Be different, have a memorable wedding and do what makes you truly happy.xx
I am just have my neices and htb daughter was go to hv a friend as maid of honour but she has let me down since my op so no longer hv her x
I wouldn't ask them personally, they might be friends but they're not very good ones if they've left you out. Any little girls in the family, sister in law etc? .... not that I'm getting married yet but I've only got my sister in laws 2 little girls to be my flower girls as I have no female friends I feel close enough to to be my bridesmaids xx
Have you got any family like sisters or sister in law or young cousins or nieces as if you have family it saves having to choose what friends to have
I'm only having 1 really good friend, my cousin and my fiancés sister, saves drama and people falling out, 2 flower girls are family too xx
I had my 2 sisters and 1 friend be my bridesmaids and my god daughter be a mini bride. Well the drama that 1 of my sisters caused was unbelievable. I 2 wish I had of had 3 of my friends doing bridesmaid's instead.
If you feel like that now it will only get worse as the stress of the wedding takes over and you will find they won't be there for you. Better off having kids or siblings. You need people by your side who love you and want to celebrate your day
If you don't feel like they're genuine friends then don't ask them - it's horrible looking back and regretting asking somebody who made next to no effort 💔
In laws 2 be can be the biggest problem
What is the point of having them if you are not sure, have you not got any family that you cabn ask if not have you got a god daughter or someone who is really special top you. Please make sure you are the happy one on your wedding day not everyone else. xx Best of luck xxx
I didnt have any friends as bridesmaids. My daughters and niece as flower girls and my 2 female cousin s as bridesmaids. x
Hi, firstly think long and hard before asking them to be your bridesmaids. Once you ask them it can become difficult to take it back. If you're feeling a bit of doubt then I would advise not asking them. Don't worry about not having bridesmaids.
I had 4 - 2 were my sisters and 2 friends that I had known for 20 years. I asked the friends to be my bridesmaids days after getting engaged and the closer my wedding came the more I wished I had asked other friends. One bridesmaid I no longer speak to as she didn't help me at all, even when I asked for help and highlighted concerns to her and she was still not helpful. She had a lot of negative opinions but when it came to being positive it was non existent. I asked her to step down as bridesmaid and she refused. On the day of my wedding she ignored me and my mum and the other bridesmaid had to talk to her. So my advice is just think about it... and if you have no bridesmaids so be it-its stress free lol
Hi I am only having my FSIL you don't have to have bridesmaids :)
I'm having no bridesmaids, only niece as flower girl and nephews as page boys, less stress!
I'm not having any friends as my bridesmaids, my sister is my maid of honour and my 2 daughters are my bridesmaids. X
From what you said then they really are not friends and I think you know that! The behaviour that you have stated wouldn't even get an invite to the wedding if I were you! Who needs friends like that!
I am getting married next year and am only having my sister as a bridesmaid, I have some very close friends but I just want my sister with me. It's personal choice, if you want them to be your bridesmaids then don't judge it on whether or not they have asked you! I am maid of honour for one of my best mates and I apologised to her when I got engaged and said I was only having my sister and to not take it to heart and she was absolutely fine with it! Xx
I read awhile ago about a lady who advertised for bridesmaid/flower girls. She wanted to give the chance to anyone who is an only child or any youngster that has never been a bridesmaid the chance to do so. X
If you are having any doubt I wouldn't ask them yet. There is still time if you change your mind. I'm having my 2 sisters and my h2bs cousin x
Honestly Nicole I won't be offended...go ahead x
I had my mother in law as a bridesmaid was lovely
Don't ask them just because you think you should have bridesmaids. You'll regret it. I had a good pair of bridesmaids but there were so many other things I regret about my wedding. And it's a day you should never regret anything about. It's your day- and if you don't want bridesmaids then don't have them. It's your and your husband to be's day and no one else's. Xx
Thay dont sound true to u .have u a sister or a neice but u dont have to have bridesmaids x
It's better to stay true to yourself rather than having friends that involved when they aren't really friends. Possibly have your mum do the bridesmaid duties like sorting your dress? Xx
I'm not having any bridesmaids. Just flower girl and Paige boy. Found it easier to have them and cheaper as we paying for there outfit. Be happy it's your day
I'm sorry but how old are you? You actually sound very young. Maybe it's the way I'm reading this and your not getting across properly? It sounds like you are jealous that they haven't asked you so your not going to ask them.
This is not what a weddings about. It is not a competition of how many bridesmaids you can have at your wedding. You may feel left out but you have to think about the bigger picture. Why are they not asking you? maybe a money issue, maybe they have to many to ask and just couldn't decide, maybe they just don't want to ask you.
I had a maid of honer and 3 other maids, one already married but I don't expect to get asked to me maid of honer or bridesmaid to them just because I asked them. Its nice to have them but it's not law to have bridesmaids. if you don't pick one it's not the end of the world.
I'm only having my sisters as bridesmaids and daughters as flower girls, I don't feel close enough to any of my friends to ask them as bridesmaids xx
I think you need to talk to your friends about how you're feeling. Don't ask anyone to be bridesmaid just yet but let them know you're feeling left out. They probably haven't even realised they're doing it & a true friend would make an effort after hearing they'd upset someone. Be honest but don't place any blame, don't start with 'you're making me feel left out' but just say 'I'm feeling a bit left out' & explain why.
If you can't decide what to do, you don't have to have any bridesmaids. My mum didn't have any bridesmaids because she didn't want to upset anyone by picking anyone else & she had a beautiful wedding. She's now been married almost 41 years!
do you have cousins, sister you could ask? if they are hypocrite with you you don't need them on your special day
Now that is a good idea, choosing a complete stranger, be she adult or child. Just imagine the joy your invite could bring to someone who may never be a bridesmaid otherwise, plus you will have a much happier day, knowing it will be shared with someone who will be as happy as you. Good luck for the future.xx
i wouldn't care whether they asked me to be theirs or not, ultimately people have different budgets for their weddings & perhaps cant afford loads of people. i started with 6 bridesmaids & now have 8 as there were people i hadn't asked but couldn't imagine them not being a part of it.. its not about what anyone else does for their wedding, thats their choice.. don't choose any of them if thats how you already feel about them, my bridesmaids have their own busy lives & i would be disappointed if they kept letting me down all the time, but i also understand they have their own lives to lead too.. if they're your friend it doesn't matter if you see them every week or every year! :)
I asked my best friend of 10 years to be my maid of honour almost straight away ... we had our first argument a month later because she kept letting me down and not helping when I told her I needed help ... in the end I told her I didn't want her to be part of the wedding at all and she isn't invited at all to the wedding ... we haven't spoken since and if I'm honest I'm glad I told her i didn't want her to be ... I was sad at first but you don't need any negativity in your life especially when it comes to your wedding day! xxx
I would take a step back and think long and hard. You need people who are going to help and support you. If you don't think they can do that there is your answer xxxx
I re located from Lancashire to Devon 7yrs ago and lost touch with some of my friends..I have chosen my sister as maid of honour..my best friend from childhood and still my bestie for life and my closest friend from Devon! 3 in total xx