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UKbride Member Request 23 Jul 2017

Hi we get married next year and am having my hen do a month before. Hubby to...

Hi we get married next year and am having my hen do a month before. Hubby to be is taking his nephew on his stag do (he'll be 18) my sister in law has asked that my niece to come on my hen do (she will be 16). The problem is that all though she looks over 18 (and its up to her mum if she goes out) now we are going drinking and I worry if she turned away as she wont have ID I know my sister in law will send her back to the hotel alone and I worry it will ruin the night as I wont feel right leaving her on her own. But if I say no I know it will cause trouble. Really don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful as at the moment I want to say I'm not gonna bother with a hen do.

13 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Well saying you won't bother with a hen do is a bit extreme! Talk to your sister in law, see what she thinks and tell her your concerns. It could potentially spoil the night if her daughter gets turned away and it's risky taking someone who's under 18 into bars etc...also, will she even enjoy it? Just speak to your SIL, she might understand your concerns more than you think.

Bethan Roberts
Bethan Roberts 23 Jul 2017

I'd leave it up to them but make it clear your concerns xx

Anne-Marie Thompson
Anne-Marie Thompson 23 Jul 2017

I'd be saying no to the under 16 it's over 18's only.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Maybe do what I am doing and have a couple of hen do's. Maybe go out for a nice meal or something for the second and invite her along to that one.

Stacey Hutchinson
Stacey Hutchinson 24 Jul 2017

I would speak to your sister and voice your concerns, however at the same time if you are having a meal or a spa treatment you can invite your niece to those but a bar really isn't the best place for a 16 year old I'm sure your sister will understand.

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 24 Jul 2017

I would speak to your SIL and explain your concerns but ultimately leave it up to them x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

How about having a meal out at another time where the 16 year old can join in too and then for your proper hen while you're out drinking just have 18 . I'm 25 and just got ID'd for a pack of rizzla there's a high chance she will get ID'd!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

I'm just back from my hen do. 10 gorgeous girlies and myself went to Stobo for a night. Was excellent as my niece, who is my bridesmaid was able to come. She's 16 in August. If you have already arranged a party night, talk to your family and explain the situation. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

To be fair it isn't up to your sister in law to invite your niece in the first place. It's your hen do! You invite who u want to be there! Maybe do a compromise and have one evening meal or event that she can attend.

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 25 Jul 2017

Have two hen dos

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 25 Jul 2017

I'm having a hen night and a hen do I'm going to Brighton in may with 12 girls and then I'm having a hen night in my local town which all the women from my wedding are invited to . Yes they are both drinking events but you could have one not and invite her to that or a bridal shower she could come to

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Jul 2017

Explain to both your SIL & her daughter that ultimately it's their decision if she wants to bring her, but that you're not going to change all of your plans for her.

If she gets denied entry, then you & your party will still be going in & its up to them what they would like to do. You're niece might decide for herself that she doesn't want to go

Jayne Timmins
Jayne Timmins 27 Jul 2017

Maybe you could do a meal or something first and include her in that part I'm sure her Mum will understand x

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