Jessica Preston
Jessica Preston 23 Jul 2017

a few of my bridesmaids are really fussy and have stated they arent coming...

a few of my bridesmaids are really fussy and have stated they arent coming unless they wear converse with their dress.. this is just totally throwing my dress code out the window if i let them,.. what do i do? HELP!!

94 Comments
Donna Chiles
Donna Chiles 23 Jul 2017

get them to match the dress my bridesmaids are x

Jessica Preston
Jessica Preston 23 Jul 2017

they are wearing the dress but have point blank refused to wear heals or flats unless their converse.

Amanda Cosgrove
Amanda Cosgrove 23 Jul 2017

Explain that it's your wedding or have flat shoes or ask them to pay its your wedding xx

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 23 Jul 2017

I think it's a little bit fair of them to demand to wear converse. It's your wedding. If you said everyone had to wear heels fair enough they might have reason to complain (im not a huge fan of really high heels) but it doesn't sound like your doing anything like that to me x

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 23 Jul 2017

Unfair i meant!

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 23 Jul 2017

Hi ask them to wear shoes to match their dresses then wear their converse once they get to the reception this is a good compromise :)

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 23 Jul 2017

I agree with comment above some my bridesmaids arnt happy with their shoes I said after photos I don't care change into what you want

Francesca Nicholls
Francesca Nicholls 23 Jul 2017

I have am going to say to bridemaids they can wear what footwear they want but they have to stick to the colour theme x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Get them converse to match ur dress u get a pair too couldn't imagine been in heals all day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I would stick to your dress code.. if they don't want to come because of shoes then I wouldn't want them there at all. You have your day how you wan as long as you an your partners there then what else matters

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

It's your wedding, it's your choice. If they're not willing to do it your way fir your special day then they aren't very good friends.

Will they compromise and wear something else?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I think your being fair you've offered to let them wear flats. If it was me if tell them it's your wedding they wear what you want them to wear hun cc

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Find new friends....

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

It's your wedding
They should be doing all they can to make you happy

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I would ask that they wear formal shoes for ceremony and photos and after they can wear them, if they are true friends they shouldn't mind! After all it's your wedding and you'll be the one looking back at photos, I'd be feeling exactly the same x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Tell them No end of!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

1, they are being rude
2, they only have to wear them for service & photos
3, really rude
4, bloody rude
5, offer to buy tacky flip flops for later
6, obnoxiously rude
7, SACK THEM

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I would say don't come then

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Tell them it's your wedding and thats what you would like them to wear. It's not a fashion show, it's a day of watching their friend get married. I have been a bridesmaid and wasnt overly keen on my shoes but I got over it, wore them, watched my best friend marry her husband and we had a brilliant day!! By the wedding ceremony I had forgotten aboout the shoes and joined the celebrations xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Sack them!! 1 day of the year is all you have asked! It's a wedding not a day at the park! Get some 4inch wearing replacements

Justine Snell
Justine Snell 23 Jul 2017

Get them their converse as gifts. Then give them out as gifts during the speeches. Then they can change into them for the evening.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Tell them if they want to choose what they wear, they should step down and just be guests! Bridesmaids are supposed to support you, not throw up MORE issues!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

It's your day. You and your partners. %}k off to any one else! Xx

Heather Hawkins
Heather Hawkins 23 Jul 2017

Just tell them they can come in whatever they want but they won't be having the bridesmaid title.
Can't believe how selfish ppl can be at times x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

My bridesmaids are wearing what they're comfortable in. I'm wearing converse as they're comfy and I can't walk in heels as is one of my bridesmaids. The other 3 are wearing heels. Luckily their dresses came too long so they're getting them taken up so you can't see anyone's shoes anyway! It's your day though. They should be happy to do what you want within reason x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

is the dress long past their feet? if so the footwear won't be seen and ask if they are willing to pay for them, I'm a bride next year and wearing white vans because I never wear heels because I simply can't walk in them and they hurt my feet after 5 seconds of being on so I get where their coming from! loads of people wear converse as brides and bridesmaids nowadays as you can bling them up and they actually look good I even know a bride and her bridesmaids who wore hunters wellies lol

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I know some people are into the whole Converse at weddings thing but I'm not a fan. You can buy comfy shoes that aren't Converse so they are being ridiculous.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I'd say chill out! It's one day that should be celebrated with your friends and family - why should it matter what people have on their feet? As long as you are happy and healthy, surely that's all that matters? Bling up the shoes and make them work! If they're your true friends, you'd want them there no matter what footwear they have on! Everyone will be looking at you and your partner and all that matters is the two of you enjoy it for the right reasons! Just enjoy it!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I let my bridesmaids provide their own shoes as I know how painful shoes can be! Their dresses were full length but I just asked that they were neutral or silver in colour :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Tell them to do one!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Are they long or short dresses? If you can't see the shoes then it should be ok as nobody will notice. Could you do a compromise and ask them to wear heels or normal flats for the ceremony and photos and then let them wear converse in the evening? If they can't compromise then just tell them not to come if that's their choice. Might make them think twice about being so petty. Play them at their own game.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Find new bridesmaids! Sorry if this is offensive but you have enough stress. If converse doesn't match your scheme then tell them if they don't like it then jog on x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Bit of a weird demand but I personally plan to let my bridesmaids wear what they want on their feet; it's a whole day and they need to be comfortable. Assuming they're having long dresses, you won't see their feet anyway, so what's the issue? Just tell them they'll have to pay for them themselves.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I can't imagine anything worse. I'm sure they can find a nice pair of flats that match your theme if they want comfortable shoes.

Kelsey Todd
Kelsey Todd 23 Jul 2017

I can't believe they are refusing to come unless they wear converse! That is so rude, if one of my bridesmaids said anything like that I'd tell them not to come because they clearly don't care for me or my wishes on my day. None of my bridesmaids have argued with me over any decisions and keep telling me they'll do whatever I want them to do (when though I am continually making sure they are comfortable with my decisions) they should wear the dress code you've chosen. And maybe change into converse for the evening? I still can't believe how rude they've been to you! As if you're not stressed enough 😒 xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

If they want to be your bridesmaids then they should be happy to wear whatever you want them to. Your wedding and they don't have to wear them all day. You do want them comfy though. I told my bridesmaids to wear whatever they liked as they had long dresses but they still insisted I chose a colour for them. I think comfort is key but you can have comfy shoes that aren't converse x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I'd b raging if my bridesmaid didn't want to wear heels let's just say she wouldn't be my bridesmaid for long lol xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Compromise. Have heels for ceremony and photos then let them change into converses. You want them to be comfortable

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Converse?! Is this some kind of sick joke?

Claire Scholes
Claire Scholes 23 Jul 2017

Erm who's wedding is it???? If they don't like it then I'm sorry there's the door!!! 😡

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

What would they be wearing if they were just guests? I doubt they'd all be in their trainers

Eve Rowe
Eve Rowe 23 Jul 2017

Can you find a compromise? Ask to wear your shoes for ceremony and then they can change into the converse maybe?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I don't think so it's your day hunni they need to understand that say flats but not trainers

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

It's ur day if they don't ant make the sacrifice to please u then I would question whether they should have the honour of being your bridesmaid! I had 6 and all very supportive! Good luck!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Are the dresses short? If not and their footwear is not going to be seen (and if they are paying for their shoes) I'd say let them wear what they want. If you are paying for them, or the dresses are short, compromise and let them change in to converse after the ceremony and photos. One of my bridesmaids changes in to her converse after the ceremony and photographs but mine wore long dresses but even if they weren't I wouldn't have minded if she wore converse for the ceremony too as I wanted them to be comfortable with what they wore as I asked them to pay for their own shoes as there wasn't money in my budget for it. Hope you get sorted xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Tell them their no longer required

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Shoes for walking down aisle etc and photos... converse for rest

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Although I understand your frustration everyone need to be comfortable on the day of your wedding. I got married 10 weeks ago and actually wore converse's myself that I had blinged up and attached a photo of my dad who past away 20 years ago (the photo of him was taken on my mum and dad's wedding day) and although I had bought my bridesmaids shoes they both ended up taking them off and wearing flip flops in the evening but it didn't make the slightest bit of difference to me tbh. Your wedding day will be stressful enough as it is so as long as your happy and comfortable with what you're wearing don't stress over it hun

A member uploaded image

Joanne Lay-Treen
Joanne Louise Treen 23 Jul 2017

Say no an return the dress cheek ov em

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I'm going to let my bridesmaids wear whatever shoes they feel comfortable in. Their dresses are going to be long so no one will notice anyway. I will be paying for their shoes so doesn't matter to me whether they are heels, flats or trainers

Rebecca Bradley
Rebecca Bradley 23 Jul 2017

depends if they have long dresses and can't see the shoes then can't see what the problem is. obviously will look out of place if dresses are short. my girls can wear whatever shoes they are comfy in as have long dress if they wanna wear mega heels or converses i don't care as long as they comfy

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I had to wear high shoes when I was a bridesmaid at a wedding for my friend. Even though I can't really walk in them I wore them any way as I was honoured to be her bridesmaid and it's her wedding so you do it. I think they're being really rude. I would tell them they have to wear dress shoes but may be shoes ones they're comfortable with. I took other shoes to wear after the ceremony tell them they can change their shoes as soon as the ceremony is over and wear whatever they want then. Don't let them ruin your day over something as small as shoes. Tell them to put up and shut up, it's your day after all not theirs.

Mel Slade
Mel Slade 23 Jul 2017

Id tell them not to come...simple.

Tracey Whitehouse
Tracey Whitehouse 23 Jul 2017

Pick a new bridesmaid!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Your wedding your rules. If they don't want to be a part of your day say thank you and move on. You don't need others dictating to you for you day. Get rid.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Compromise - converse after the photos and the have to buy their own.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I think you have 2 choices hear... you either tell them not to come and find different bridesmaids as they are being just plane ride! Orrrr you tell them that's fine (as you can get convers in meany different colours). And you tell them to find some that match your colour scheme and they have to pay for them themselves... good luck xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Tell them to suck it they should be honoured just being asked x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Your day your choice... I'm saying no more....

Siobhan Ireland
Siobhan Ireland 23 Jul 2017

I said my girls could wear them at night and heels though the day ☺️ xx

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 23 Jul 2017

I think it's very unreasonable of them but you could try to compromise by saying they can wear what they want after photos x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

My daughter's wearing her converse once we get to the reception, but nice proper bridesmaid shoes to the ceremony. It's all about compromise at the end of the day. I can't complain - I've blinged up some white fluffy slippers and as soon as my heels start to hurt, I'm putting those on under my dress. After all - who's going to see them? Or my daughter's converse come to that

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

That's one way of getting a nice pair of converse bought for you I suppose. Nikki and Kate - don't you two be getting any ideas xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I'd tell them they don't have to be bridesmaids then. I can't believe they're being so rude.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Ask them to be honest about how they would feel if there Bridesmaids started making demands of them at there Wedding? If they still can't see it your way they then you have to decide if there worthy of been your Bridesmaids. It's your big day and it should be about what you want not them.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Robyn Peters

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I'm buying my bridesmaid shoes. If i thought they would be uncomfortable i would get different - but would like them all to be the same and have hopfully found something to suit all!

If not - i would sort something - but hope i wouldnt have to x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Just tell them who's wedding it is or piss off

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Omg people if the dresses are long what does it matter whats on their feet bridezilla alert. At the end of the day its them that need to wear the shoes and walk in them and they need to be comfortable. Is it really worth falling out with your closest friends over a pair of shoes that nobody will see or even care about. Is it not more important to marry your man and have your closest friends and family share your day than squabble like children over shoes nobody else cares about. Think you need to get your priorities straight

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Sack them and find new bridesmaids...

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Get nicer bridemaids! It's for one day, if the can't suck it up for you then I think you should reconsider them all together!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Really?! What the reason for this? Or their reason I should say. Heals in the day then converse at night for comfort? Meet half way x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

Id tell them to jog on then! My day, my way! If they don't like it then they can stay away! Obviously not true friends of they can't support what you want! Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Jul 2017

I don't understand why people are calling you a bridezilla from reading your comments your Dar from it, every bride and groom have a theme and a dress code on there wedding, you havnt told them they have to be in the heels all day and you've even specified that you don't care if they wear flats I think it's so mean that someone who should care and be so excited there friend is getting married have said there not going to go because of a pair of shoes, how pathetic, there clearly just bluffing to get there way, stick to your guns you've offers compromises and they havnt budged and you shouldn't have to! hope everything works out and you have a fabulous day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

This is why the only bridesmaid's we are having are our two young daughters.

Anita Day
Anita Day 24 Jul 2017

Id say ok dont come then and id find girls to replace them. Their loss. How dare they make demands in YOUR day. Its not about them!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

My bridesmaids are wearing converse, the dress is long enough to cover so you won't see them, you have to remember they have to wear them all day, they have to be comfy x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Whoes wedding is it ... YOURS or YOUR BRIDESMAIDS?!... if their being dicks about it
1. Don't have them as your bridesmaids because their obviously not that good of friends if their making you feel this way,
2. ..... I don't have a Second point because I just wouldn't want them to be up their with me if they demanded things on my wedding day?! Simple .

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Its hard to comment as i dont know your dress code. I gave my bridesmaids the option & we agreed on the converse style. I got shoes off ebay & personalised with ribbons & love heart crystal. Mine where white & girls with the pink! Best idea coz it was so comfy, we wore them all day & actually couldnt see them anyway but saved sore feet in heels. But defo do what suits you! Its YOUR day not theirs !! xx

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Your wedding your rules simple. If they saying they not coming then simple don't come less money spent and true friends revielled x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

sack them, they should be supporting you, you don't need extra stress.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

I had my girls in glitter heels for ceremony then glitter converse for meal and evening xxxx

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Your wedding your choice if they dont wear what u want sack them find other bridesmaid, cheek of them!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Saying they 'won't come' is rather petty! And why choose converse. Being a bridesmaid should be an honour, but in all honesty my chosen 6 would wear whatever I asked but I've told them comfort is more important and just to match with colour. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Tell them to get over themselves!!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Haaa I'd give them a bin bag as they talk a load of rubbish. The day is meant to be the "Bride's big day" well it used to be years ago. xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Say bye lol

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

You tell them it's your wedding and your choice, they will or have already had their day this is yours x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Jul 2017

Its your wedding & your decision & they should understand that. I changed into converse later on but not until after meal / photos etc.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Jul 2017

Tell them to shove it, it's your day they wear what you ask or come as a guest in their converse, some people just don't care about other peoples emotions, it's your day not theirs

Jayne Timmins
Jayne Timmins 29 Jul 2017

I agree with Lucy L

Leanne Kelsall
Leanne Kelsall 31 Jul 2017

It's your wedding day and you want it to be perfect and they should wear what you want them to wear it's only a couple of hours that they have to wear them.its a bit unfair off them making you deal this way about your wedding.

Dianne Few
Dianne Few 1 Aug 2017

sorry am I being thick what is converse?

Nicola Smithson
Nicola Smithson 1 Aug 2017

I have told my bridesmaids that they can wear whatever shoes they feel comfortable with - but if I wanted some specific and they just point blank refused then I would probably just "Well, that is what I want and if you can't respect that then don't be a bridesmaid" It's not like they have to wear the same shoes all day. I mean they can wear heels for the ceremony/photos and then change for the reception? Good luck - Hope it all goes ok xxxxxx

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