Hi, just wondering what everyone else would do in my situation... I have been with my H2B for 10 years, we finally booked our wedding October last year, for August 2018. Everything was booked and the family informally informed. Then Christmas 2016, my cousin got engaged and two days later she booked her wedding for exactly the same day as my own! When I confronted her about this, she said there was nothing she could do about changing as she didn't want to wait until 2019 and she wanted her wedding on a bank holiday. So now our family has to chose between me and my cousin and it is tearing us all apart! I feel so awful even though I did nothing wrong! I feel like cancelling my wedding and losing the deposit money etc and then having it in 2019 as I am not bothered about waiting because I know I'll be marrying my H2B! What are people's thoughts and what would you do????
I would definitely not change your date... I think it's terrible your cousin has booked the same date deliberately. It's wrong, totally wrong! I'd be kicking off it it were me... However... Surely your parents and immediate family ie siblings will be at yours? X
First of all ..your cousins a douche!!! Who does that???!!!!
But if you are happy waiting til 2019 as you know you and your man are strong..it may well make it a hell of a lot easier for all your family.. its totally her fault but if shes not budging you may have to .. you will come out on top as the bigger better person.. all your family will make it to your wedding (however i would NOT invite her!)
what a Class a douchbag!! i would make her change you was first to book that date so yours should stay that date!!! my partners uncle is getting married next year but he has asked when ours was so he didnt book the same day
You booked yours first so she should change hers
Don't change your date. Did she know the date you booked?Just proceed with your plans as normal. Your parents and siblings won't choose her wedding, just as her parents and siblings won't choose yours. Hold your head high,and don't throw a strop over it. She should change her date IMO,but you can't force her to,you can however control your reaction to the news. Be the bigger person. Wish her well and tell her you'll miss her presence at your big day,and you'll be thinking of her
Change it to a week before....that way you did it first, she's then the one having a wedding right after you (which she is
Anyway)....petty I know but would mean families don't have to choose. Then don't tell anyone any details including the date change until they get their invites ☺️ xz
Are you not able to speak to your suppliers and explain what's happening most of them should be happy to change the date for the year later.
Your cousin is an idiot and extremely rude. I would seriously think whether or not to invite her and her h2b to your wedding.
Good luck xx
id change to 1 or 2 weeks earlier if possible or keep as is you booked 1st end of hun xx
Outrageous!! My mum and I (just shared this with her) think you should not change your date or feel bad. You booked yours first. And if your family have said they're coming to yours already then they're not free in the date of her wedding.
Seriously, who does that?!! And is it just me but once a family wedding date is set (even before Save the Dates are sent out) it's in stone isn't it? All holidays, plans, etc revolve around that, surely? I'm so sorry for you but you must not feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. x
Hi you have nothing to be sorry for your cousin it seems to me was jealous of you being in the spotlight, she must be very spoilt :)
I wouldn't cancel no way,..the most important people will be there that's all that matters, ..your cuz is a clown, ..rise above it enjoy your day
Wow, just wow. Out of all the weekends in an entire year she chooses your date... classy. Don't change yours, send out save the dates to any family that will be stuck in the middle, let people know the date first. The people you love most will choose to come to your day. Don't share any info with this cousin. I am planning my wedding and I messaged my cousin to double check the dates didn't cross over, I'd never do that to her, it's manners! X
Why don't you ask her to just change to a different weekend or month? Why does it have to be a whole year?
You may be able to avoid losing your deposit if you stay with the same suppliers but just change the date - and make it before hers.
I don't know what your cousin was thinking, yeah she doesn't want to wait but she may be getting married with not everyone she had hoped would be there. You got there first, your family should attend your wedding. Don't cancel let her live with the consequences and enjoy your day. And if not everyone is there who cares it's about the union between you and your h2b.
Why don't you speak to your venue about possible moving the date very slightly to earlier in August, or just a different month entirely during 2018, they may beable to do that so you don't need to loose any money xx
Who does that!!! I would not change your wedding date unless you can change it to just before and you dont end up loosing too much money. I would be sending her the bill if you do end up loosing money. Good luck! x
If you are really worried about family not turning up to your day even tho they were told when it was before the idiot booked hers, I would move your wedding to a few days before hers. Don't invite her to new date and don't go to hers if you change your date. Failing that stuff her, it's about you and your h2b not her xxx
Thats awful. I would change mine to the bloody day before! Everyone will be tired for hers. I dont understand some people!
I really cant believe that your own cousin could be so selfish...she has put you in an impossible situation. I would have gone mad with her if it was me. All advice i can give you is the people who matter will be by your side on your special day. I hope it all goes well
Hmmmm- if it was me, I personally would be the flexible one and change my date- the last thing I'd want is my family falling out and being torn between two weddings. I think it was quite mean what your cousin did in the first place but I'd be looking at solutions now. Definitely speak to your venue about potentially shifting the date to a weekend before perhaps and have yours first for sure, most venues are so flexible and with this much notice I highly doubt they'd want to lose your business by being awkward and charging you your deposit. Hope this helps and you and your family all move past this you'll look back one day think "remember that time when...."