I told my partner I want a small wedding, just us and a few of our closest family members and friends at first he agreed and now since speaking to his father he has gone completely against it saying we should have a big wedding with lots of people and we shouldn't worry about the costs. I don't know what I should say to him. It feels like since talking to his father he cares more about the size of the wedding than he does getting married. I want us to be able to plan our wedding together but how can we if we are both looking at different things.
Hi tell him that you are not interested in a big wedding. You need to talk things over don't book anything that you are not comfortable with, tell his Father to butt out it's your wedding after all, good luck :)
You need to talk to him about it. Could you compromise and meet in the middle and have a medium size wedding then your both getting a bit of what you want? X
You need a compromise, I would say that it isn't about quantity, it's quality. You need to have who you really want there. It may be that there are certain people he really wants which would up the guest list from your original small wedding plan, and you'll need to look at a compromise...but it shouldn't be a case of him inviting every Tom Dick and Harry just for the sake of making it a big wedding, so if you are going to make it bigger you'll need to really think about who you want there.
What about a small ceremony but a big reception? It's not up to his father but maybe they just want it to be a memorable day, make a fuss of you both.
It depends what you class as a small wedding? To me,
72 days guests is the absolute smallest wedding we could ever have because that's our imediate family and two best friends. I could make our wedding a lot bigger but we've decided we only want family to our day & we've invited friends etc to the evening.
You need to really discuss what you want, like properly sit down and make him understand your side but also let him explain his reasons too - and go from there xx
Meet in the middle? Have a medium wedding. I want a small wedding and my partner wants a big on so we're gonna go for something in between instead.
Talk about what you both want and can afford. If then he still wants what daddy wants then say daddy has to pay for it, he might shut up if he cant afford it .
You need to talk to him and compromise but you also both need to understand why each other wants what they want x
Why has he changed his miind? Does his father think.he can have his friends there? Ask your boyfriend this.
Come to a compramise. Its both your days and no one elses. So have what you both want.
Let both sides of the family know this
my eldest son had 28 at his wedding it was small and lovely. my youngest will have 85 at his.
As my daughter in law said only invite the people who you would really want to buy a meal for.
Tell him it's what you want from your heart
I had a small wedding in May with just immediate family there and it was beautiful and intimate.
My hubby wanted something bigger too but we met in the middle and I had my small wedding. And now we're having a massive party with all our friends and family at a later date.
The great thing is, he gets what he wants and you get to wear your dress again (woohoo) So it's win win!!
Have a chat with him, put it across that you can do both and then you both have 2 days worth of celebrating your day.
Hope you get sorted Hun, and put your foot down with your father in law. Yours and hubbys day. Not his.
Sorry about the novel. X
Remember that this wedding is as much for him and his as it is for you and yours! Surely if you're ready to walk down the aisle with him you can sit down together and work out the details.
You need to understand why he changed his mind, maybe he always wanted a larger wedding but worried about cost until his father offered to help? Or maybe he agreed to a small wedding because he knew that you wanted one but now that he's thought it over he wants more of the people who matter to him there. Or maybe you're right and he's being led my his fathers ideas. Any which way you need to understand each other's priorities and compromise
Oh I hear ya, I wanted small and intimate, immediate family only, we are now sitting at 66 and rising, I'm ready for running!